South Africaball, officially the Republic of South Africa, sometimes known as South Afringca is a famous and rich countryball in Africa. South Africaball's favorite pastime is digging deep holes in its clay as it is full of valuable minerals like gold, platinum, manganese, chrome, iron, vanadium and diamonds.
South Africaball is a member of the G20 (or Group of Twenty) group formed by the countryballs that have the 19 largest economies plus the EU.
South Africaball has a long history but didn't write much down until recently although there is a lot of Khoisanball rock-art graffiti everywhere.
During the iron age, the civilization of Mapungubweball also existed and they traded with the east coast and built huge stone structures, because they were bored and it would confuse future generations.
In the 15th Century, Portugalball started looking for a shortcut to the far east and "found" the Cape, although it wasn't lost.
In the 16th Century, Dutchball needed a lay-over to India and started a veggie garden in the Cape. Some Huguenotballs arrived as well, escaping persecution in Europe. They were very good at making wine so were allowed in, irrelevant of their beliefs!
In the 17th Century, Dutchball decided to make it a colony and make of moneys a lot with trade.
In 18th century when Dutchball clay was taken by Franceball, UKball arrived uninvited and take over but not give of back to Dutchball when Franceball was defeated. This annoyed Dutchballs, who took their Huegnotball friends with and moved inland to become the Boerballs.
In the 19th Century, the Boerballs met the Zuluball and other 8balls and had a few hectic arguments. Boerball would close their wagons into a circle, pray and then shoot all the Zuluballs attacking. It seemed to work well. One of Zuluball sons, Ndebeleball, however, was causing his own havoc, chasing everyone around. Eventually Lesothoball hid in the mountains to escape all this nonsense. This is why Lesothoball now lies in the middle of South Africa, and why South Africaball looks like an Donut.
In late of 19th Century, the Boerballs found gold and diamonds and UKball decided they needed to join the empire. UKball brought Indiaball and Australia to help. This war is called the Anglo-Boer War. UKball thought it was taking too long to defeat some uncouth farmers, so started burning down farms and put Boerballs and 8balls in concentration camps. The Boerballs were finally made to agree that joining the empire was maybe a good idea.
South Africaball finally gained full independence from UKball in 1960.
South Africaball is one of the few African countryballs that have never experienced a coup d'etat or entered a civil war after the decolonization process, in addition to regular elections being held for nearly a century.
South Africaball learnt some silly superiority ideas from UKball, got it wrong and ruled by Apartheid (Racial segregation). Boerballs started acting like UKballs and 8balls were given their own countryballs to make living off of and were moved out of the cityballs in South Africaball which caused all the 8balls to stop talking with each other and be excluded from the South African society.
This is the main reason that South Africaball suffers from multiple personality disorder today. South Africaball is in therapy for this problem.
South Africaball also used to enjoy crossing its neighbors borders without permission, especially those of Angolaball, apparently to stop communism from spreading. USAball financed this exercise through the CIAball "freedom outreach program".
South Africaball was the first country in Africa to build nuclear weapons which were of the taken by Americaball for 'safekeeping'. The 2ball's were of the very smart in South Africaball. It clandestinely tested two of them in the desert and then got caught by USAball, who was wondering where the huge earthquakes came from, oops!, After all that fuss South Africaball voluntarily gave them up as they had become obsolete. South Africaballs nuclear weapons were replaced by the deadly Vuvuzela.
With the end of apartheid, everyone in South Africa has gained equal rights (although many still complain about it), but the country has also been plagued by corruption in recent years because of a certain person who became the country's president.
In 2017, South Africaball can now into winnings in Miss Universe for the first time in 39 years.
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South Africaball loves to braai (its like barbecue, but way better!) South Africaball belongs to the BRICS, the SADC, (basically all the neighbors, who crash the braai) and the African Union. South Africaball is also part of Commonwealthball.
- Lesothoball and Eswatiniball - His cousins. South Africa believes they are actually part of him.
which is true
- Australiaball - bbq buddies, is invited to the braai as he always brings excellent lamb-chops. All the 2balls want to move here eventually. (MY BRAAI IS BETTER THAN YOUR BARBIE!)
- Malaysiaball- A South East Asian version of me because he also have many different races such as Malays, Chinese, Indians and many many more just like me blacks, whites and many else and proof that many different races in one country = One nation.
- Namibiaball - His stepson, South Africaball had to eventually give him back, after UNball got upset.
- Mauritiusball - spends his holidays most of the time there.
- Botswanaball - South Africaball thinks she is a snob as they seem better educated, however it likes to braai with Botswanaball and laugh at the other SADCballs.
- Mozambiqueball - South Africaball enjoys him coming to the braai, but doesn't understand anything it says. It all sounds like gibberish "selling cabbages?".
- Zimbabweball - South Africaball doesn't talk much about its cousin Zimbabweball, who may have gone clinically mad.
- Japanball - South Africaball loves bakkies (Utes!) and minibuses that are built by Japanball, so allows them to come to the braai. Yo, ninja, go!
- Netherlandsball - Estranged father of South Africaball. Speaks of different language now but can still into understandings.
- USAball - BEST ALLY, OF COURSE, He buys all of my fancy diamonds.
- Canadaball - Good friend, supported the end of the Apartheid, helped us in our development and in the fight against AIDS. We have a lot in common as our constitutions and the taste for sports.
- Russiaball - Are in BRICS together
- Brazilball - are powerful developing countryballs, both love soccer, and both are in BRICS together
- Indiaball - Inspired South Africa ball for revolution. Indiaball has many of its people in the klein town of Durbanball. They were both colonized by Britain but now are in BRICS together, DEFEND CURRY! Gandhiji became a lawyer in our clay and formed Natal Congress. We are inspired by his satyagraha. So DEFEND GANDHI!!!!!
- Indonesiaball - Brother colonized by Netherlandsball. His kebab hero (Sheikh Yusuf al-Makasari) who sent by Netherlands to My clay, was the 1st people who spread Islam in My clay. Thanks a lot! He send batik to my clay, our president love batik so much.
- Chinaball - largest trading partner and in BRICS together, DEFEND DUMPLING!
- South Koreaball - Best Korea, we both have "South"
- Cubaball - We really got along since the end of apartheid, I'm not really close to him but he's really nice I don't care what America says
- New Zealandball - both love rugby, but had a bit of trouble in 1981 when its apartheid rugby team toured New Zealandball.
- Cabo Verdeball - Let me fly over his clay
- Romaniaball- Is of good friend and likes Pretoriaball but plox stop hating Russiaball. *ates me. He is my selfish Magherb brother
- Gaddafiball- Although he is a controversial ally, he's my freind because he supported Mandela while he was imprisoned. "Those who feel irritated by my friendship with President Gaddafi can go jump in the pool."
- UKball - South Africaball has a love/hate relationship with his Step-father, UKball. UKball hasn't apologized for the concentration camps from the Anglo-Boer war yet or for stealing the Cullinan diamond.
- Philippinesball - YUO OF WINNINGS MISS UNIVERSE 2018?? YUO WILL PAY! REMOVE CATRIONA GRAY! I SUPPORT YOUR RIVALS! MY CHINABALL WILL ANSCHLUSS YOU! HAHAHAHAHA!
- Spainball -YUO OF WINNINGS 2010 WORLD CUP (WHICH I HOSTED)?? YUO WILL PAY! REMOVE IKER CASILLAS!
- Tunisiaball - AFRICAN MAGNET!!!!!
- Denmarkball - Your prime minister enough said.
- Nigeriaball - I am the best African country, not you!
- Ukraineball - Crimeaball is Russiaball's.
South Africaball owns and leases some other clay:
- Robben Islandball: used be a colony for sick balls suffering from leprosy and then a prison for Mandela and his uppity 8balls, now touristic attraction with museums.
- Marion Islandball: 2700km south east off the coast, where South Africaball conducts weather research and may have rented it out to Israelcube to test a nuclear weapon, oops.
- Prince Edward Islandsball (no, not the Canadian Province): birthday present from Stepdad. very cold with penguins pooping everywhere.
- SANAE 4: Research station in Antarcticaball.
South Africaball enjoys playing football (or Soccer for USAball), rugby and cricket. South Africaball hates to lose against Australiaball and New Zealandball and will sulk for days on end. Sport is considered the main religion with Christianity. The Vuvuzela is used as a psychological weapon to annoy the opposing team into making mistakes. South Africaball hosted 2010 FIFA World Cup. South Africaball also won the 1995 and 2007 Rugby World Cup.
Cycling has also become a favorite sport of South Africaball. Multi-time Tour de France champion Chris Froome (though born in Kenyaball) spent his high school years in Johannesburgball, and in 2013 Daryl Impey became the first African rider to wear the coveted yellow jersey. South Africaball also proud to be the home of the first African-registered professional road cycling team, Team Dimension Data (formerly MTN-Qhubeka).
- “Now-Now" and "Just-Now" are totally valid concepts of time, if South Africaballs coming over for a beer "now-now", it could perhaps be arriving at Botswanaballs in five minutes. But if South Africaball is coming "just-now", Botswanaball could expect to wait 20 minutes or 30 or even 45. Just-now, darn it isn’t it obvious?!
- "Babbelaas", You know that feeling after a heavy night out on the town? South Africaball offers a term that is far more descriptive of one's feeling of complete and utter uselessness!
- "Eish!" in everyday lingo, ”eish!” is a term that could best be described as an exclamation of light shock.
- "Howzit!" Howzit sort of shortens that to “How is it?”
- "My Chinaball!" No, not the country. Your best friend is your Chinaball. Don't ask where it came from; just accept it and next time you see your best buddy Botswanaball, say, "Howzit, my Chinaball!"
- "Gatvol!" Translated literally, this word means ”the hole is full.” Used as a term of absolute frustration, one is gatvol when one has had enough.
- "Ja Nee" Translated, this means “Yes No” in Afrikaans. Yes, this is a paradox. No, it’s not seen as a contradiction in terms. South Africaball knows exactly what it means: So-so, Maybe.
- "Ja-Well-No-Fine" Rolling off the tongue as one word, this phrase has taken on a sarcastic twist to mean that someone telling you something might be pretending to tell the truth, but actually the reality of the situation is the opposite.
- "Ag Nee!" Translated from Afrikaans, it literally means "Oh No!" but is much more expressive. It is used when something goes horribly wrong, and even when one wants to display a little sympathy.
- "Jassis" Pronounced "yussis", it is usually used to express shock, surprise and the occasional tinge of annoyance.