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Russiaball

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“Russia is of bully!!!”
―Everyone that Russiaball bullies whilst getting bullied by him
“Thunder and Lightning it's getting exciting!”
Russia on Eurovision 2016(before being dramatically defeated by Ukraineball)
“ Fuck my economy!”
―sanctioned
“xaxaxa polan i trick yuo”
Russia after tricking Poland

Russia-icon Russiaball or Russian Federationball is a large, Orthodox and stronk countryball in Eurasia and is the largest countryball in the world. Russia-icon Russiaball is usually strong, proudly, and it got better compared to its old Soviet days, and known for its constant rivalry against USA-icon Pindosiyaball and Germany-icon Germanyball and it's worst enemy (And nightmare) is NATO-icon NATOball. He can into space, and in fact he is the first into space. However, Russia-icon Russiaball is grumpy with the USA-icon USAball and Turkey-icon Turkeyball. Russia-icon Russiaball has fairly good relations with China-icon Chinaball but dislikes Japan-icon Japanball. He loves (not homosex though) his Slavic family and his sister Belarus-icon Belarusball and his friend Kazakhstan-icon Kazakhbrick.

Russiaball is also a member of the G20 (or Group of Twenty), a club formed by the countryballs that have the 19 largest economies plus the EUball.

Personality

"Alcoholic" could not even begin to describe Russia-icon Russiaball. Wherever he goes, he carries a bottle of vodka with him. In fact, in Russia-icon Russia, shot glasses do not exist because everyone is expected to down the Vodka in one gulp. St. Vladimir the Great of the Kievan Rus-icon Kievan Rusball was the source of the quote, “Drinking is the Joy of the Rus, we cannot exist without that pleasure”. The ancestors of Russia-icon Russiaball removed Kebab and converted to orthodoxy exactly because kebab removes vodka. Indeed, the compound known as Ethanol also serves a utilitarian purpose in Russian life; they help survive the cold, they can be used as disinfectant, and we do know that ethanol has a high octane rate which was why scientists are so interested in the manufacture of ethanol from waste biomass in order to fuel the upcoming energy crisis. In other words, since Vodka is basically Ethanol, even their tanks can run on Vodka. During Victory over Europe, Stalin threw a massive party so vast they ran out of Vodka. The previous Imperial and Communist regimes knew this, and personally managed the sell of ethanol. Ethanol is the centre, life and blood of everything that is Russia. But Russia today is a pretty sad and dilapidated place. Alcoholism continues to accelerate to insane levels, and amongst the very poor who could not even afford a bottle of vodka, they instead turned to Krokodil, which is highly addictive and literally ate your flesh alive like some kind of super-Ebola.

There is a reason for Russia-icon Russiaball having lost pride in itself and could not manage a single second without vodka: he used to be a Soviet-icon world-spanning empire that scared even USA-icon USAball. What makes it different from the previous collapse of superpowers like SPQR-icon SPQRball into Italy-icon Italyball was that Soviet-icon Soviet Unionball possessed so much nukes he could EXTERMINATUS the entire Planet many times over. Everybody, even USAball was understandably scared shitless of the might of the Soviet-icon Soviet empire, and almost every Cold War fiction depicted that either the Soviet-icon USSR must necessarily exist and into Space forever, or a war will completely wipe all life on the face of the planet. The only way for Soviet-icon Sovietball to end, was not with a whimper, but with an epic BANG. Until an idiot named Mikhail Gorbachev took away the Vodka. Gorbachev was the most unpopular of the Soviet leaders; even Stalin led Russia-icon Russiaball from a backwater in the arch-nemesis of USAball. The epic nuclear war films of world War III, they were all wrong. Russia-icon Russia went with a whimper, reduced to Tricolours with Rusting Rockets. No wonder the current alcohol epidemic of an empire that rotted from within itself. However, from this background of chaos and Mafias rose a KGB agent named Vladimir Putin who promised to make Russia-icon Russiaball a great power once again, negotiating alliances with old friend China-icon Chinaball. Though, he was controversial as well for removing Gays and Kebab from Russian premises, which earned him the ire of EU-icon EUball.

History

Russia-icon Russiaball were the ancestors of the Slavs-icon ancient Slavs (2ball). On their land attacked the Svealand-icon Vikings. During the reign Oleg became the capital of Russia Kiev. So there was a law (many times right) Russia-icon Russian Grandpa - Kievan Rus-icon Kievan Rusball. He fought many times with Byzantine-icon Byzantiumball. In 988 he took the Orthodox faith. But soon his sons (Vladimir-Suzdal-icon Vladimir-Suzdalball, Kievan Rus-icon Kiev principalityball, "Novgorod Republic-icon Lord Novgorodball the Great" (his favorite nickname), etc.) shared inheritance and less listened to each other.

Meanwhile, Europe was attacked by- wait for it- Mongol Empire-icon the Mongols! Russian reported by Kumanball (generally Russian hated them and they hate them too). In 1223 a battle on the river Kalka ... Almost all Kievan Rus-icon Russian principalities were conquered by the Mongol Empire-icon Mongol Empireball. Kievan Rus-icon Russia almost was captured. When the remains of captured Kievan Rus-icon Russians declared independence Novgorod Republic-icon Novgorodball. (It turns out that Russia fully nobody ever won). Novgorod Republic-icon Novgorodball and Vladimir-Suzdal-icon Vladimirball were right (3 times right) grandparents Russiaball.

Soon Moscow-icon Muscovy won in 1380 winning the Golden Horde-icon Golden Hordeball (the Battle of Kulikovo), and exactly 100 years later (1480) in general has ceased to be a "slave" to the Golden Horde-icon Mongols (the Battle of the Ugra river). In Moscow-icon Muscovy had a son - Tsardom of Russiaball. He fought with Sweden-icon Swedenball and Poland-Lithuania-icon Poland-Lithuaniaball. His son - the RussianEmpire-icon Russian Empireball conquered the Poland-Lithuania-icon Rzeczpospolitaball, fought with France-icon Franceball, UK-icon UKball, Ottoman-icon Ottomanball, the Japanese-Empire-icon Japanese Empireball and the German Empire-icon German Empireball. In 1918, his son, the Soviet-icon Soviet Unionball killed him. He was born many children - Russian SFSR-icon Russiaball, Byelorussian SSR-icon Belarusball, Ukrainian SSR-icon Ukraineball and others.

In 1941, his "friend", Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball treacherously attacked him, and after 4 years of a fascist himself killed himself by declaring that War. Signs hero cities have been awarded many of his grandchildren - Sevastopol-icon Sevastopolball, Moscow-icon Moscowball, Saint Petersburg-icon Leningradball, Stalingradball, Murmanskball, Tulaball, Brestball and others. In 1962, because of his other Cuba-icon Cubaball nearly started a new, perhaps THE LAST WAR IN OUR HISTORY! In 1986, his daughter Ukrainian SSR-icon Ukraineball something naughty (more in the article about Ukraine-icon Ukraineball). In 1957, Russiaball and her brother Kazakh SSR-icon Kazakhbrick launched the first rocket into space. Before the Great Patriotic War (in the most of the former Soviet-icon Soviet Union, so called Second World War) the Soviet-icon Soviet Unionball selected for children daughters Byelorussian SSR-icon Belarusball and Ukrainian SSR-icon Ukraineball of the land of his brother - Poland-icon Polandball (Polish father, a former Kingdom of Poland-icon Polish kingdom) (Poland-icon Polandball - Russia's slavic brother) which Polandball took away the Soviet-icon Soviet Unionball in 1920.

After the death of the father (or murder) Russia-icon Russiaball first behaved more lightly. But after the war in Chechnya-icon Chechnyaball and the two defold, Russiaball pulled himself together and started to build a new life. In 2014, Russia-icon Russiaball returned his brother - Crimea-icon Crimeaball - to his clay, despite the fact that the almost rest of the world was against it.

Relationships

Друзья (Friends)

  • China-icon Chinaball - Old commie buddies! Great friend.
  • Orthodoxy-icon Eastern Orthodoxy - State religion of the Holy Russian Empire, and bulwark against the German devil (forget the atheist Soviet era, it never worked. Besides Nazi version of German Devil was removed, because Soviet people belived).
  • India-icon Indiaball - I gib him lots of weapons so he likes me and I like him. He pays a lot of curry. Also both in BRICS together. DEFEND CURRY!
  • UK-icon UKball - Sometimes. He's protestant, but we both can into tea and German Devils removing. And also French. So my question is: WHY YUO DON'T WANT TO JOIN MY RESTORED SOVIET UNION?
  • Iceland-icon Icelandball - Just arctic buddies....
  • Belarus-icon Belarusball - The best friend and little sister.Russia:Belarus!Join me or die!Belarus:Wow okay!
  • Kazakhstan-icon Kazakhbrick - Russia's friend. Kazakstan sometimes lets Russia use his lawn for launching rockets into space and into anybody he wants removed. Is of good Kebab.
  • Turkey-icon Kebab - Will be great allies!
  • Bosnia-icon Croatia-icon Greece-icon Romania-icon Slovenia-icon Balkan Countries - Most of the countries of the Balkans are Russia's cousins and hang out alot.
  • Brazil-icon Brazilball - Well, they are a part of BRICS, add vodka in their cocktails, and hate the German devil, so why not?
  • Portugal-icon Portugalball - Brazil's father and trading partner.
  • Armenia-icon Armeniaball - A loyal friend in the Caucasus region (perhaps only friend there).
  • Eurasian Union-icon Eurasian Unionball - great Russia's son.
  • Serbia-icon Serbiaball - Best friendski! Great helpings against capitalist American pig, and know truth about new world order NATO!
  • Iran-icon Iranball I know in the 19th century we were enemies but Now we are of best friends and I like him, he also me. We are Strategic Allies, who knows who this works. Your capital Tehran is very big and cultureful I like it. Xaxaxa and We hate this capitalist Idiotic pig and NATO.
  • Bulgaria-icon Bulgariaball - Best friends. Even Bulgariaball is in Nato and EU. But this makes Bulgaria confused.
  • Egypt-icon Egyptball - Recently insane, relationships since USSR, soviet long time of both helpings each other out , always of visiting Egyptball in vacation, he is makings me room in his new canal, of supporting christianity in there helped him in his canal war, of likings him cause he was independent and anti-imperialist policy earned him enthusiastic support from the Communist government of the USSR.
  • Syria-icon Syriaball - Will of helping him get through his NATO-engineered civil war on top.
  • Vietnam-icon Vietnamball - Father's good friend but stop calling me Soviet, am Russia. Soviet is op my father.
  • Canadaball - Good diplomatic friend, we both love hockey! Honestly I like Canada ... he is a nice guy ...the only fault of Canada is being brother of that arrogant (I'm talking about you, America).

Друго-враги/Нейтрален (Frenemies/Neutral)

  • Poland-icon Polandball - Silly western pigski who are easy to bully. ХАХАХАХАХА, polen cannot into space! But we both can into vodka and we both like to bully and troll gays and Hochland and also both equally strong hate Krauts. Also remove that rocket defense from yuor clay or nukes will of strike Warsawball!
  • USA-iconPindosiyaball - He thinks that he is the king of the world (in the past he even invaded Iraq without UN authorization, but SCREW DOSE GUYS!), he has not noticed that we live in a multipolar world now.

So yuo finally elected trump, huh? Great. XAXAXAXA.........Yuo silly pig. Now yuo are fucked. Just wait and watch as yuo get raped.

  • Japan-icon Japanball - Worthy opponent. Our book Lolita is number one bestseller there. Now a loyal bondage slave of the German devil. I am never givings Kuril! Plus His flag is literally a surrender flag! XAXAXAXAXAXAXA!
  • Moldova-icon Moldovaball - Doesn't want her to be with Romaniaball and EU, nor Ukraineball.
  • Macedonia-icon Macedoniaball - Doesn't want him to be with Bulgariaball, Greece and EU, nor Serbiaball, nor Albania.
  • Philippines-icon Philippinesball - June 12 is me and little comrade's special day! Russia day for me and independence for him. He is unfortunately that pig's teenage son. Can into friends soon
  • France-icon Franceball - You're part of EU, a Homosex lover, and a Catholic, but are prayers are with you of heplings you remove terrorist.
  • Canada-icon Canadaball - We both claim the North Pole.

Ублюдки/Враги (Bastards/Enemies)

  • Germany-icon Germanyball, EU-icon Merkelreichtangle and NATO-icon NATOball - Антихристы. Зло, родители котороых - шлюха Вавилона и Сатана. Злейшие враги славянской расы. УБРАТЬ ТЕВТОНСКИХ РЫЦАРЕЙ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ПРУССИЮ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ АНШЛЮС, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ НАЦИЗМ! УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ, ИХ КЕБАБСКИХ СОЮЗНИКОВ И МАЛЕНЬКИХ ЧЕРТЕЙ МАРОККО, АМЕРИКИ И ИЗРАИЛЯ! РУССКАЯ СЛАВЯНСКАЯ ЗИМА И ПРАВОСЛАВИЕ СТРОНГ, СТАЛИНГРАДСКАЯ БИТВА — ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ! АЛЕКСАНДР НЕВСКИЙ ДОЛЖЕН ВЕРНУТЬСЯ, ЧТОБЫ ОТПРАВИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ И КЕБАБОВ ОБРАТНО В АД!! ХВАТИТ ОБИЖАТЬ ВЕЛИКОБРИТАНИЮ! МАТУШКА РОССИЯ СТРОНГ!!! Best drinking buddies ever. Really, because Putin said so, therefore it's right. If Putin said it, therefore it must be true.
  • Ukraine-icon Hochlandball - ХАХАХАХАХАХА!!! Я УКРАЛ У ТЕБЯ КРЫМ И ТЕПЕРЬ ПОЧТИ ВСЮ ОСТАЛЬНУЮ ГЛИНУ ВОЗЬМУ!!! Но Львов брать не буду. ПОТОМУ ЧТО ЛЬВОВ - ПОЛЬСКАЯ ГЛИНА!!! ГОЛОДОМОР - ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ!!! АМ НЯМ ХОХЛАНД!!! GIVE INDEPENDENCE TO NOVOROSSIYA!AND LET ME ANCHLUSS THEM! KHARKOV ,KIEV, ALL UKRAINE CLAY IS RIGHTEOUS ROSSIYA CLAY!!!!!!!! Runaway EU Peasant. Traitorous apostates who hate us because Natalia Poklonskaya used her Slavic sexiness to Anschliss free Crimea.AND GET OFF THE FENCE!
  • DickRhino-icon Swedenball, Denmark-icon Denmarkball and Norway-icon Norwayball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Protestantism is HERESY made by crazy, vicious Kingdörk Vikings! (still hate their sister)
  • Vatican-icon Vaticanball and Italy-icon Italyball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Catholicism is HERESY made by Romans!
  • Mongolia-icon Mongoliaball - Worst fear. 1237 WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!! BUT NOW AM OF STRONKEST THAN YUO. XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA!!! Wait, you say I have Mongols in me? OH SHIT SHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!!!!
  • Finland-icon Finlandball - Used to be Rossiya clay after i anschluss him from Sweden. He is also my second worst fear. At least He can into vodka.Renegade province. BUT I AM NOT GIVING KARAELIA BACK!(You stole my vodka, Cyka Blyat!)
  • ISIS-icon ISISball - Since NATO pigskis not doing anything to stop yuo it's up to Mother Russia to save the day.
  • Georgia-icon Georgiaball - I defeated yuo easily. So gib Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball their independence! And let me anschluss them!
  • Azerbaijan-icon Azerbaijanball - Stop bullying Armeniaball or else i will remove yuo!
  • North Korea-icon North Koreaball - Please shut up about your nukes or I will into removing yuo.
  • Lithuania-icon Lithuaniaball - American puppet pigs! Always can into independance!
  • Canadaball - Hockey rival, never forgetting 1972

Images And Comics

VTE
Russia-icon Russian Federation - Land of Bears, Матерщина, and Vodka, a.k.a Everything Russia-icon (ushanka)
Republics Adygea-icon AdygeaballAltai-icon AltaiballBashkortostan-icon BashkortostanballBuryatia-icon BuryatiaballChechnya-icon ChechnyaballChuvashia-icon ChuvashiaballCrimea-icon CrimeaballDagestan-icon DagestanballIngushetia-icon IngushetiaballKabardino-Balkaria-icon Kabardino-BalkariaballKalmykia-icon KalmykiaballKarachay-Cherkessia-icon Karachay-CherkessiaballKarelia-icon KareliaballKhakassia-icon KhakassiaballKomi-icon KomiballMari El-icon Mari ElballMordovia-icon MordoviaballNorth Ossetia–Alania-icon North Ossetia–AlaniaballTatarstan-icon TatarstanballTuva-icon TuvaballUdmurtia-icon UdmurtiaballYakutia-icon Yakutiaball
Krais Altai Krai-icon AltaiballKamchatka Krai-icon KamchatkaballKhabarovsk Krai-icon KhabarovskballKrasnodar Krai-icon KrasnodarballKrasnoyarsk Krai-icon KrasnoyarskballPerm Krai-icon PermballPrimorsky Krai-icon PrimorskyballStavropol Krai-icon StavropolballZabaykalsky Krai-icon Zabaykalskyball
Oblasts Amur Oblast-icon AmurballArkhangelsk Oblast-icon Arkhangelskball (Franz Josef Land-icon Franz Josef Landball) • Astrakhan Oblast-icon AstrakhanballBelgorod Oblast-icon BelgorodballBryansk Oblast-icon BryanskballChelyabinsk Oblast-icon ChelyabinskballIrkutsk Oblast-icon IrkutskballIvanovo Oblast-icon IvanovoballKaliningrad Oblast-icon KaliningradballKaluga Oblast-icon KalugaballKemerovo Oblast-icon KemerovoballKirov Oblast-icon KirovballKostroma Oblast-icon KostromaballKurgan Oblast-icon KurganballKursk Oblast-icon KurskballLeningrad Oblast-icon LeningradballLipetsk Oblast-icon LipetskballMagadan Oblast-icon MagadanballMoscow Oblast-icon MoscowballMurmansk Oblast-icon MurmanskballNizhny Novgorod Oblast-icon Nizhny NovgorodballNovgorod Oblast-icon NovgorodballNovosibirsk Oblast-icon NovosibirskballOmsk Oblast-icon Omskball (Winged Doom-icon Omskbird) • Orenburg Oblast-icon OrenburgballOryol Oblast-icon OryolballPenza-icon PenzaballPskov Oblast-icon PskovballRostov Oblast-icon RostovballRyazan Oblast-icon RyazanballSakhalin-icon SakhalinballSamara Oblast-icon SamaraballSaratov Oblast-icon SaratovballSmolensk Oblast-icon SmolenskballSverlovsk Oblast-icon SverdlovskballTambov Oblast-icon TambovballTomsk Oblast-icon TomskballTula Oblast-icon TulaballTver Oblast-icon TverballTyumen-icon TyumenballUlyanovsk Oblast-icon UlyanovskballVladimir Oblast-icon VladimirballVolgograd Oblast-icon VolgogradballVologda Oblast-icon VologdaballVoronezh Oblast-icon VoronezhballYaroslavl Oblast-icon YaroslavlballZabaykalsky Krai-icon Chitaball (Dead)
Federal cities Moscow-icon MoscowballSaint Petersburg-icon Saint PetersburgballSevastopol-icon Sevastopolball
Autonomous regions Chukotka-icon ChukotkaballJewish Autonomous Oblast-icon Jewish Autonomous OblastcubeKhanty-Mansi-icon Khanty–MansiballNenets-icon NenetsballYamalo-Nenets-icon Yamalo-NenetsballRussian Antarctica-icon Russian Antarcticaball
Historical autonomous regions Agin-Buryat-icon Agin-BuryatballEvenk-icon EvenkballKomi-Permyak-icon Komi-PermyakballKoryak-icon KoryakballTaymyr-icon TaymyrballUst-Orda-icon Ust-Ordaball
Geographical regions Siberia-icon SiberiaballUral-icon Uralball
To become Russia Quebec-icon KvebekballTexas-icon TekhasballAlaska-icon AlyaskaballUganda-icon UgandaballJapan-icon YaponiyaballIstanbul-icon Tsargradball
Former entities Slavs-icon SlavsballKievan Rus-icon Kievan RusballNovgorod Republic-icon Novgorod RepublicballVladimir-Suzdal-icon Vladimir-SuzdalballGolden Horde-icon Golden HordeballMoscow-icon Grand Duchy of MuscovyballTsardom of Russia-icon Tsardom of RussiaballRussianEmpire-icon Russian EmpireballRussian Republic-icon Russian RepublicballSoviet-icon Soviet Unionball (Russian SFSR-icon Russian SFSRball) • Lokot-icon Nazi Russiaball
пиндосы? FUCK PINDOSIYA! ALSO FUCK EVIL WESTERN INDIVIDUALISM FREE WILL HAPPY PURSUIT. RUSSIA STRONK WILL KILL SMELLY EUROPE!

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