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xaxaxa polan I trick yuo
 
Russia-icon Russia after tricking Poland-icon Poland


Russia-icon Russiaball (or Russian Federationball) is a large, Orthodox and stronk countryball in Eurasia and covers more clay than Pluto-icon Plutoball and on Earth-icon Earthball than any other country.

Russia-icon Russiaball is usually strong, proud, and it got better compared to its old Soviet days, and known for its constant rivalry against USA-icon Pindosiyaball and Germany-icon Germanyball and its worst enemy (and nightmare) is NATO-icon NATOball.

He can into space, and in fact he is the first into space. However, Russia-icon Russiaball is grumpy with the USA-icon USAball and Turkey-icon Turkeyball. Russia-icon Russiaball has fairly good relations with China-icon Chinaball but dislikes Japan-icon Japanball.

He loves (not homosex though) his Slavic family, his best friends are Belarus-icon Belarusball and Kazakhstan-icon Kazakhbrick.

Russiaball is a member of the G20 (Group of Twenty), a club formed by the countryballs that have the 19 largest economies plus that EU-icon Sissies Club. He is starting to be bittersweet relations with USAball.

He is also the 2nd (YOU ARE THE THIRD YOU LIAR!!!) greatest military power in the world.

He is very helpful,he helps small and weak countries and makes friends with mostly everyone he meets.He loves to defend his family no matter the cost and he loves to bring popularity to slavkind.

Personality

The Joy of Rus

"Alcoholic" could not even begin to describe Russiaball. Wherever he goes, he carries a bottle of vodka with him. In fact, in Russia, shot glasses don't exist because everyone is expected to down the Vodka in one gulp. St. Vladimir the Great of the Kievan Rus-icon Kievan Rusball was the source of the quote, “Drinking is the Joy of the Rus, we cannot exist without that pleasure”. The ancestors of Russiaball removed Kebab and converted to orthodoxy exactly because kebab removes vodka.

Indeed, the compound known as Ethanol serves a utilitarian purpose in Russian life; they help survive the cold, they can be used as disinfectant, and we do know that ethanol has a high octane rate which was why scientists are so interested in the manufacture of ethanol from waste biomass in order to fuel the upcoming energy crisis. In other words, since Vodka is basically Ethanol, even their tanks can run on Vodka.

During Victory over Europe, Stalin threw a massive party so vast they ran out of Vodka. The last Russian-Empire-icon Imperial and Soviet-icon Communist regimes knew this, and personally managed the sale of ethanol. Ethanol is the centre, life and blood of everything that is Russia. But Russia today is a pretty sad and dilapidated place. Alcoholism continues to accelerate to insane levels, and amongst the very poor who could not even afford a bottle of vodka, they instead turned to Krokodil, which is highly addictive and literally ate your flesh alive like some kind of super-Ebola.

Good Old Times

There is a reason for Russia-icon Russiaball having lost pride in itself and could not manage a single second without vodka:

He used to be a Soviet-icon world-spanning empire that scared even USA-icon USAball. What makes it different from the previous collapse of superpowers like SPQR-icon SPQRball into Italy-icon Italyball was that Soviet-icon Soviet Unionball possessed so much nukes he could EXTERMINATUS the entire Planet many times over.

Everybody, even USA-icon USAball was scared of the might of the Soviet-icon Soviet empire, and almost every Cold War fiction depicted that either the Soviet-icon USSR must necessarily exist and into Space forever, or a war will completely wipe all life on the face of the planet. The only way for Soviet-icon Sovietball to end, was not with a whimper, but with an epic BANG.

Until an idiot named Mikhail Gorbachev took away the Vodka. Gorbachev was the most unpopular of the Soviet leaders; Stalin led Russiaball from a backwater in the nemesis of USA-icon USAball.

The Hope of Rus

However, from this background of chaos and Mafias of the 1990s rose a KGB agent named Vladimir Putin who promised to make Russiaball a great power once again, negotiating alliances with an old friend China-icon Chinaball. Though he was controversial as well for removing Gays and Kebab from Russian premises, which earned him the ire of that EU-icon Sissies Club. But, thanks to his efforts, now Russia is returning to his former greatness, which was lost after the death of the USSR.

History

The Rise of Rus Kievan Rus-icon

In the 9th century Slavs-icon Ancient Slavs inhabited the lands that are now Russiaball. On these lands Slavs based 2 biggest rus' cities at that time: Novgorodball in the north and Kievball in the south. Novgorod was well-developed, strong, very warlike and unruly city, Novgorodians fought with all nearby tribes. In the late of 9th century citizens of Novgorodball invited Svealand-icon Vikings to the city. "Our land is large and abundant, but there is no order in it", said Novgorodians to them and asked them to become rulers of the Novgorodball. The Vikings agreed. New rulers united southern Kievball and northern Novgorodball and forged them into a nation called Kievan Rus-icon Kievan Rusball. Slowly Svealand-icon Viking rulers adopted native customs and language and were assimilated into Russian society.

In 988 Prince Vladimir Putin converted to Orthodoxyball and his people followed. Kievan Rus-icon Kievan Rusball began trading with Byzantine-icon Byzantiumball. After 1054 when Kievan Rus-icon Kievan Rusball's ruler Yarolslav the Wise died he broke up into a federation of princedoms.

The Mongol Era Mongol Empire-icon

Meanwhile, Europe was attacked by -wait for it- Mongol Empire-icon the Mongols! At first, they destroyed towns and massacred the inhabitants but later let the Russian principalities rule themselves as long as they paid tribute.

"Novgorod Republic-icon Lord Novgorodball the Great" (his favourite nickname) however was not invaded, but he wisely decided to voluntarily submit to the Mongol Empire-icon Mongol Empireball. While under the Mongols, Novgorod Republic-icon Lord Novgorodball the Great decided to annex surrounding territory (in Russiaball annexing territory is a national sport equal to drinking) and his ruler became the prince of Moscow in 1263. But it did not stop there, his next rulers also gradually kept annexing large amounts of territory, slowly becoming larger and stronger.

Ivan III (1462 - 1505) removed Mongol in 1480 ceasing to be a slave. He also annexed territory. The last independent parts of Russiaball were annexed by his son Vasili III thus Russiaball gradually became complete.

Tsardom of Russia Tsardom of Russia-icon

In 1547 he became Tsardom of Russia-icon Tsardom of Russiaball. In the 16th century Tsardom of Russia-icon Russiaball had far more contact with western Europe. Many European craftsmen came to work in Tsardom of Russia-icon Russiaball, England-icon Englandball began trading by sea with him.

In 1533 Ivan the Terrible inherited the throne of Tsardom of Russia-icon Russiaball, he was crowned Tsar (derived from the Roman Caesar). He also expanded Tsardom of Russia-icon Russiaball territory annexing clay (drinking and annexing are the joy of Rus) mostly from the remains of Mongol Empire-icon Mongol Empireball, HA! TAKE THAT NOOBS! TAKE IT! TAKE IT! YUO DESERVE IT! DON'T MESS WITH RUSKY! GG WP EASY! After that glorious period, Ivan became increasingly paranoid degenerating into a tyrant. He killed his own son. He died in 1584. His other son, Theodore, died in 1598 without leaving an heir and Tsardom of Russia-icon Russiaball entered a period of turmoil.

In 1603 a pole man aka "The False Dmitry" claiming to be Ivan the Terrible's youngest son Dmitry appeared. In reality, Dmitry died in 1591. He then raised an army and conquered Moscow in 1605. But he was replaced by Prince Vasily Shusky in 1606. Tsardom of Russia-icon Russiaball then descended into anarchy "It's of every vodka for himself!" until a man named Michael Romanov was made tsar of Tsardom of Russia-icon Russiaball, starting the era of the Romanov dynasty that would last for 300 years.

In 1645, Michael Romanov was succeeded by his son, Alexis the Most Gentle. During his reign, the Ukrainians, who were ruled by the Poles, sought protection from Russia. This event started The Deluge where Poland-Lithuania-icon Poland-Lithuaniaball lost more than half of its population, you had it coming! In 1667 Russia gained all of the Ukraine east of the Dneiper and Kiev and Smolensk.

In 1682 the famous Peter the Great became Tsar. He was determined to bring Russia up to date and turn it into a European nation. In 1696-97 he travelled to the west. He built a navy and in 1696 he captured Azov from Ottoman-icon kebab. Peter encouraged foreign trade, the translation of foreign books into Russian, the building of factories (peasants were conscripted to work in them), introduced the Julian calendar, reformed the Russian government and administration, introduced western dress and banned the Russian nobles (boyars) from wearing beards. When the patriarch died in 1700 Peter refused to replace him. Instead, he formed a body called a Holy Synod to head the Russian Orthodox Church.

The church was made subordinate to the Tsar and was meant to serve him. Peter also founded a port in northwest Russia called Saint Petersburg-icon St Petersburg. The new city was built in the years 1703-1712. Vast numbers of peasants were conscripted to do the work and many thousands of them died because of the harsh conditions. Peter also imposed heavy taxation on his people.

In 1700 Peter the Great went to war with DickRhino-icon Swedenball in what became known as The Great Northern War. (Poland-Lithuania-icon Polandball and Denmark-icon Denmarkball were his allies). In 1700 the he was defeated at Neva. However in 1709 DickRhino-icon Swedenball invaded Ukraine-icon Ukraineball and were crushed at the Battle of Poltava. In 1721 he made peace with DickRhino-icon Swedenball gaining Estonia-icon Estonia and land around the Gulf of Finland. (Ingria-icon Ingriaball)

However Peter was less successful against the Ottoman-icon kebab. In 1710 he went to war with them but in 1711 his army was defeated and he was forced to make peace. He was forced to return Azov.

Russian Empire of Vodka RussianEmpire-icon

In 1721 Russia became the RussianEmpire-icon Russian Empireball. After Peter the Great's death in 1725 a few other boring ruler came. But then in 1762 came another Russian jewel: Catherine the Great.

Catherine was German, but she loved Russia with all of her heart. Under her reign, The Russian Empire has reached such heyday as under the rule of Peter the Great. Under Catherine's rule RussianEmpire-icon Russian Empireball continued to expand his clay. She fought a successful war with Ottoman-icon kebab in 1768-1774. As a result, RussianEmpire-icon Russian Empireball gained land by the Black Sea and in 1783 took Crimea. Ottoman-icon kebab lost still more territory after a war in 1787-1791.

In 1772, RussianEmpire-icon Russian Empireball, Kingdom of Prussia-icon Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austrian Empire-icon Austrian Empireball helped themselves to a slice of Poland-Lithuania-icon Polandball each. RussianEmpire-icon Russian Empireball and Kingdom of Prussia-icon Kingdom of Prussiaball helped themselves to more Poland-Lithuania-icon Polandball each in 1793. Finally in 1795 RussianEmpire-icon Russian Empireball, Kingdom of Prussia-icon Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austrian Empire-icon Austrian Empireball divided up what was left of Poland-Lithuania-icon Polandball between them. By the time Catherine died in 1796 Russia was very powerful.

RussianEmpire-icon Russian Empireball later fought with France-icon Franceball, UK-icon UKball, Ottoman-icon Ottomanball, the Japanese-Empire-icon Japanese Empireball and the German Empire-icon German Empireball.

Communism-icon The Golden Era of Communism Soviet-icon

Main article: Soviet Unionball

Soviet Unionball was born in 1903 as Bolshevikball, which became Russian SFSR-icon Russian SFSRball, but had to defeat the traitorous white army. He emerged victorious in 1922, and attempted to spread communism into the former territories of his father's empire, creating Ukrainian SSR-icon Ukrainian and Byelorussian SSR-icon Byelorussian SSRballs. But Poland-icon Polandball was able to stop communism's advance into Europe, for a while...

On 1st September 1939, Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball invaded Polandball's clay, followed by Soviet-icon Sovietball on the 17th of September, splitting Poland-icon Polandball's clay up. Around this time, Soviet-icon Sovietball was setting up gulags in Siberia-icon Siberia and kidnapping other countryballs who lived near him: like Estonia-icon Estoniaball, Latvia-icon Lativiaball, Lithuania-iconLithuaniaball, and Moldova-icon Moldovaball, turning them into communist SSRballs. He even tried to annex Finland-icon Finlandball's, but was stopped by the more prepared Finland-icon Finns.

World War II (1940-45)

In 1941 Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball broke the non-aggression pact and invaded Soviet-icon Sovietball's clay with Operation Barbarossa. Nazi-icon Naziball besieged Leningrad, and reached the outskirts of Moscow by December 1941, but was forced back because of the Russian winter. The more prepared Soviet-icon Sovietball took advantage of the delay by launching a counter-offensive in the spring. Then when Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball tried to take Stalingrad and the Caucasus Mountains, he held out in the city of Stalingrad, then surrounded Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball's forces, trapping them.

Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball was defeated at the battle of Kursk, afterwards being thrown back, with Soviet-icon Sovietball liberating Minsk-icon Minskball, Kiev-icon Kievball, Warsaw-icon Warsawball, and reaching Berlin-iconBerlinball by February 1945, when Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball committed. Not shortly after, Soviet-icon Sovietball declared war on Japanese-Empire-icon Japanese Empireball, who surrendered to USA-icon USAball in September 1945, ending the war.

Cold War (1945-1991)

After World War II, Soviet-icon Sovietball instated communist governments in many of the Eastern European countryballs he had liberated, such as PR Hungary-icon PR Hungaryball, RS Romania-icon SR Romaniaball, and Poland-icon PR Polandball. The part of Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball's clay he had occupied was given to his adoptive son East Germany-icon East Germanyball, in 1949, and an iron curtain descended across Europe, beginning the Cold War.

Sovietball's foe - NATO-icon NATOball was created, so Soviet made the Warsaw Pact-icon Warsaw Pactball. In 1950, Soviet-icon Sovietball helped North Korea-icon North Koreaball in the Korean War, then put down rebellions by East Germany-icon East Germanyball and Hungary-icon Hungaryball. Later USAball lost a proxy war to Vietnam-icon North Vietnamball in 1973.

In 1957 he sent Sputnik I into space, starting the Space Race between himself and USA-icon USAball, sending himself (Yuri) into space in 1961, but lost being first into moon when USA-icon USAball got there in 1969.

In 1968 Soviet-icon Sovietball started a nuclear power program in Kazakh SSR-icon Kazakh SSRbrick clay, by spying on USA-icon USAball. This caused some problems with USA-icon USAball in 1962 when Soviet-icon Sovietball placed nuclear missiles on the newly-communist Cuba-icon Cubaball's clay, leading to the Cuban missile crisis. However, in 1986 the Chernobylball disaster made the Soviet-icon Sovietball more cautious of this destructive technology.

By 1989, Sovietball's economy could no longer function properly and started to fracture, and he was forced to withdraw from Afghan-icon Afganistanball's clay. In 1989 his Warsaw Pactball members started leave. In 1990 Lithuania-icon Lithuaniaball was the first to succeed and so did the others soon in 1991 after the military coup. The Soviet-icon Soviet Union ultimately collapsed.

Ruski is not yet lost! Russia-icon

After the death of the father (or murder) Russia-icon Russiaball first behaved more lightly. But after the war in Chechnya-icon Chechnyaball, Russiaball pulled himself together and started to build a new life.

In 2014, Russia-icon Russiaball returned his son - Crimea-icon Crimeaball - to his clay, despite the fact that the almost rest of the world was against it.

Russia's history in a nutshell: CONQUEST RUSSIA STRONK!

Relationships

Друзья (Friends)

  • Algeria-icon Algeriaball - Best North African Friend, He supports me on Assad and Buys a lot of my weapons.
  • Abkhazia-icon Abkhaziaball - I will Protect you from Georgia-icon Georgiaball. You can get independence!
  • Angola-icon Angolaball - Another friend since Soviet Times, I helped him out during his multiple personality disorder
  • Armenia-icon Armeniaball - A loyal friend in the Caucasus region (perhaps only friend there).
  • Belarus-icon Belarusball - The best friend and little sister. Love her♥ so much. Thanks for backing me up saying I didn't do the nerve gas attack.
  • Bolivia-icon Boliviaball - Anti Imperialist in the Western Hemisphere
  • Burundi-icon Burundiball - Anti-Imperialist African Friend who support me on Crimea and Syria.
  • Bulgaria-icon Bulgariaball - Brother and one of my best friends. Even if Bulgariaball is in Nato and EU. But this makes him confused.
  • Cambodia-icon Cambodiaball - Good friend of China-icon Chinaball and is also really friendly with me, we are doing a lot of economic projects together and thank you for voting against the Crimea-icon Crimea Resolutions.
  • China-icon Chinaball -  Great friend. Both Can Into Remove Capitalist Pigs!!!! Congratulation on having President Xi for Life. 习近平万岁!
  • Cuba-icon Cubaball - I'm sorry about the loss of Fidel Castro, hope we can be true buddies in the future.
  • Denmark-icon Denmarkball - My good Viking friend. I helped him in some of his wars. You are a good comrade unlike your useless irrelevant brothers.
  • Orthodoxy-icon Eastern Orthodoxy - State religion of the future HRE-icon Holy Russian Empire, and bulwark against the German devil (forget the atheist Soviet era, it never worked. Besides Nazi-icon Nazi version of German Devil was removed, because Soviet people belived in бог).
  • Egypt-icon Egyptball - Recently insane, relationships since I helpings him to remove kosher when I was of USSR long time of both helpings each other out, always of visiting Egypt-icon Egyptball in vacation, she is makings me room in his new canal, of supporting christianity in there helped him in his canal war. He also supports me on Syriaball and his government is similar his, of likings him and He is also giving me military bases and intends to help me to be a gateway to Libyaball, cause he was independent and anti-imperialist policy earned him enthusiastic support from the Communist government of the USSR.
  • Eritrea-icon Eritreaball - Although he is crazy, he is one of my closest African allies and we get along and I give him economic support, I'll make sure my buddy, Sudan-icon Sudanball keeps an eye on you just in case
  • Eurasian Union-icon Eurasian Unionball - GREAT RUSSIAN EMPIRE SHALL RETURN! great Russia's son. this is better than that EU-icon sissies club
  • Fiji-icon Fijiball - Great Pacific Friend (If not one of the only in the region), he hates USA-icon USAball, Australia-icon Australiaball, and New Zealand-icon New Zealandball, but still has ties with UK-icon UKball. Still, he also buys my weapons.
  • Gaddafi Libya-icon Gaddafiball - Rest in Peace my Good Friend.
  • Greece-icon Greeceball - Is also of orthodox and hates kebab.
  • Guinea-Bissau-icon Guinea-Bissauball - We gib him Weapons, also friend during Soviet Times
  • Hezbollah-icon Hezbollahball - We are kicking a$* in Syria-icon Syriaball and removing FSA-icon Fake Syria and ISIS-icon Goat F&*kers
  • Hungary-icon Hungaryball - despite being in NATOball and EUball, he doesn't hate me and we generally get along.
  • India-icon Indiaball - I gib him lots of weapons so he likes me and I like him. Pays lots of monies. Also both in BRICS and SCO together. But y yuo no remob Kebab Pakistan-icon? DEFEND CURRY!
  • Indonesia-icon Indonesiaball - COMRADE! We are good friends since the old days. We are of sharing weapons and military equipment. Thanks for the generous friendship and sorry for my plane's crash in 2012. Both can into Muslims. I promise to keep commies off your land, brother! Spasibo...
  • Iran-icon Iranball I know in the 19th century we were enemies and also Soviet-icon times of russia, but now we are of best friends and I like him, he also me. We are Strategic Allies, who knows who this works. Your capital Tehran is very big and cultureful I like it. Xaxaxa and We have problems with this pig and his NATO.
  • Iraq-icon Iraqball - Helped him against ISIS-icon ISIS, and he is also a good friend.
  • Ivory Coast-icon Ivory Coastball - we have great relations since post Soviet Times
  • Kazakhstan-icon Kazakhbrick - My brother. Kazakstan sometimes lets me use his lawn for launching rockets into space and into anybody he wants removed. Is of good Kebab.
  • Kyrgyz-icon Kyrgyzstanball - Good kebab friend, we can into CSTO-icon CSTOball
  • Laos-icon Laosball - Good friend and one of the BEST buddies.
  • Lebanon-icon Lebanonball - We get along and both like Iran-icon Iranball. Well, most of the time.
  • Luhansk-Republic-icon Luhanskball and Donetsk-Republic-icon Donetskball - I'll protect you from Ukraine-icon Nazi
  • Mali-icon Maliball - Old friend during Soviet Times, we are still friends and he buys my weapons
  • Moldova-icon Moldovaball -  We get along and we both were together during Soviet Union time. Hope to be "close" brothers you know what I mean.
  • Mongolia-icon Mongoliaball - Good Trading Partner and Friend but 1237 NEVER FORGET!!!!!!!
  • Myanmar-icon Myanmarball - China-icon Chinaball and I support you on the Rohingyas and He buys a lot of my Weapons.
  • Nauru-icon Nauruball - Little island friend who recognizes Abkhazia-icon Abkhaziaball and South Ossetia-icon South Ossetiaball
  • Nicaragua-icon Nicaraguaball - anti imperialist friend in Central America
  • Palestine-icon Palestineball - His president was a KGB member in 1984. And this guy is an anti western. I usually help him against Israel-icon those jew, but not much.
  • Philippines-icon Philippinesball - June 12 is me and little comrade's special day! Russia day for me and independence for him. 
  • Serbia-icon Serbiaball - Good Brother! But remove Vucic, he likes NATO. Both Remove Kebab! and I Support him on Kosovo.Remember,whoever touches Serbia touches Russia!
  • Slovakia-icon Slovakiaball - like Hungary-icon Hungaryball, he can into NATO-icon NATOball and EU-icon EUball but we still generally get along
  • South Africa-icon South Africaball - Can into BRICSbricks and also great trading partner and friend
  • South Sudan-icon South Sudanball - Another anti imperialist african friend
  • South Ossetia-icon South Ossetiaball - I will Protect you from Georgia-icon Georgiaball. You can get independence!
  • Sudan-icon Sudanball - One of my best friends in Africa, he recently visited me and is offering me a military base, thanks for supporting me on Crimea-icon Crimeaball
  • Suriname-icon Surinameball - We are becoming good friends, he withdrew recognition of Kosovo-icon Kosovoball to please my Serbia-icon Brother
  • Syria-icon Syriaball - Will of helping him get through his NATO-engineered civil war on top. I will defend you from USA-icon Pindosiya America and NATO-icon NATOball. Also will remove that evil ISIS-icon ISIS rat, and evil FSA-icon fake parasite
  • Tajik-icon Tajikistanball - Indo-Aryan Military Ally.
  • Transnistria-icon Transnistriaball - I will protect you from Moldova-icon Moldovaball.
  • Libya-icon Tobrukball - The Libya faction that I support, he may even give Military base
  • Tunisia-icon Tunisiaball - Weapons buyer, but Gaddafi was good .
  • Turkmen-icon Turkmenistanball - While he is not a military ally since he is neutral, the two of us generally get along and he is an oil supplier
  • Uganda-icon Ugandaball - Good African Friend and We hunt Homosexuals Together
  • Uzbek-icon Uzbekistanball - Turkic Friend and Good Kebab.He was wary of recognizing Crimea-icon but now he does and we restarted Military Cooperation
  • Venezuela-icon Venezuelaball - Great South American Friend who recognizes Crimea, Abkhazia and South Ossetia. Hating the USA-icon Pig, he reminds me of me back in the day, and all the fun times I had with Russian SFSR-icon Ukraine.
  • Vietnam-icon Vietnamball - Good friend but stop calling me Soviet-icon Soviet, am Russia. Soviet-icon Soviet is of my past self. Soon Soviet will return, Comrade!c
  • Western Sahara-icon Western Saharaball - Unofficial Friend thanks for recognizing South Ossetia-icon South Ossetiaball
  • Zimbabwe-icon Zimbabweball - Anti Imperialist African friend, also friend since soviet Times, probably my closest African Friend along with Sudan-icon Sudanball

Друго-враги/Нейтрален (Frenemies/Neutral)

  • Azerbaijan-icon Azerbaijanball - Me and him have a mixed relations... Because of Armenia-icon Armeniaball but my people visit his capital and we do trade and we give 12 points to each other in Eurovision so I have my eye on him
  • Brazil-icon Brazilball - Well, they are a part of BRICS, add vodka in their cocktails, and hate the German devil, so why not? but Unfortunately he wants to remove my friend, Venezuela-icon Venezuelaball
  • Bosnia-icon Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - Relations are mixed because he contains Srpska Republicball who love me but the other part of him is not that fond of me
  • Croatia-icon Croatiaball - Slavic Bro but don't you dare hurt my friend Serbia-icon Serbiaball
  • Czech-icon Czechiaball - Yuor beer is execting, do yuo want vodka? But sadly, he can into NATOball.
  • France-icon Franceball - You're part of EU, a Homosex lover, and a Catholic, but are prayers are with you of heplings you remove ISIS-icon terrorist.
  • Libya-icon Libyaball - Burger absolutely r#ped you, but now that I saved my buddy Syria-icon Syriaball, I'm going to try to stabilize you now
  • Macedonia-icon Macedoniaball - Doesn't want him to be with Bulgariaball, Greece and EU, nor Serbiaball, nor Albania.
  • Malaysia-icon Malaysiaball - I helped him into space but I've commited a crim to him by shootings down his plane. I'm sorry for shootings down your plane and btw, lets recognize Crimea as part of me.
  • Montenegro-icon Montenegroball - We were really friendly but he dumped me for NATOball and sanctioned me
  • Morocco-icon Moroccoball - Good relations but he supports the enemies of my allies and I and friendlier with Algeria-icon Algeriaball
  • North Korea-icon North Koreaball - Please shut up about your nukes or I will into removing you with my mightiness. I want to hold the World Cup next year, if you declare war or throw one of those bombs at someone, the World Cup will be canceled and everyone will have to go to war, a Third World War. So ... do not do anything stupid now !!!! But we generally get along and He supports me on Crimea. The only reason you still exist is that I do not want the yanks near my eastern border, you're just a puppet to let them away from me.
  • Pakistan-icon Pakistanball - Relations are starting to improve but don't you dare remove India-icon Curry and stop funding Taliban-icon terrorists, but we can into SCO-icon SCOball
  • Poland-icon Polandball - We both share a common relationship and we get along politically and we both are critics of this Ukraine-icon Hochland .But can you do me a favour and remove your rocket defense from Warsaw. Its "threatening me" and we will respond "harshly with full measures" if you want.  Remove that rocket defense from yuor clay or nukes will of strike Warsawball!. Also I didn't appreciate you removing 4 of my diplomats from your clay. "I'm sorry" but I had to remove four of your diplomats for "good measures"
  • Thailand-icon Thailandball - Love Pattaya. Relationship is not great though (But it is improving)
  • Turkey-icon Turkeyball - Complicated relations, he wants to become friendly with me but he killed my diplomat and shot down my plane, Strange fellow in behavior

Ублюдки/Враги (Bastards/Enemies)

  • Albania-icon Albaniaball - Fool, who picks on my good friendski Serbia-icon Serbiaball and let me don't worry I will anschless you USA-icon USAball butt licker KOSOVO IS SERBIA YOU CYKA BLYAT
  • Al-Qaeda-icon Al-Qaedaball - Never Forget the War in Afghanistan, you filthy terrorist
  • Australia-icon Australiaball - American Puppet pig in Pacific, he kicked out my diplomats and supports Ukraine-icon Ukraineball and stay away from China-icon Chinaball
  • Belarus-icon (old) Belarusian Democratic Republicball - EU-icon EUball puppet, you are of fake Belarus-icon Belarusball
  • Canada-icon Canadaball - СУКА!! How dare you expell 4 of my diplomats from your country! How dare you criticize me in public about us hurting your UK-icon dad! We have retaliated by firing four of your Canada-icon friends from Moscow. We hope to get more revenge in the upcoming IIHF 2018! 
  • Chechnya-icon Chechnyaball - He is of terrible when separatist, this fanatic was of hard to remove.
  • Finland-icon Finlandball - Used to be my clay after I anschluss him from Sweden. He is also my second worst fear. At least he can into vodka. Renegade province. BUT I AM NOT GIVING KARAELIA BACK! (Because you stole my vodka, Cyka Blyat!)
  • FSA-icon FSAball - Fake Syria and a bunch of terrorists
  • Furries & Rule 34 - STOP FETISHIZING ZABIVAKA YOU BLYAT'!!! HE'S CREATED NOT TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT!!!
  • LGBT-icon Gay and Lesbian Kingdomball - Abomination! Remove!!!!
  • Georgia-icon Georgiaball - I defeated you easily. So gib Abkhazia-icon Abkhaziaball and South Ossetia-icon South Ossetiaball their independence! And let me anschluss them!
  • Germany-icon Germanyball, EU-icon The Sissies Club and NATO-icon NATOball - Антихристы. Зло, родители которых - шлюха Вавилона и Сатана. Злейшие враги славянской расы. УБРАТЬ ТЕВТОНСКИХ РЫЦАРЕЙ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ПРУССИЮ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ АНШЛЮС, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ НАЦИЗМ! УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ, ИХ КЕБАБСКИХ СОЮЗНИКОВ И МАЛЕНЬКИХ ЧЕРТЕЙ МАРОККО, АМЕРИКИ И ИЗРАИЛЯ! РУССКАЯ СЛАВЯНСКАЯ ЗИМА И ПРАВОСЛАВИЕ СТРОНГ, СТАЛИНГРАДСКАЯ БИТВА — ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ! АЛЕКСАНДР НЕВСКИЙ ДОЛЖЕН ВЕРНУТЬСЯ, ЧТОБЫ ОТПРАВИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ И КЕБАБОВ ОБРАТНО В АД!! ХВАТИТ ОБИЖАТЬ ВЕЛИКОБРИТАНИЮ! МАТУШКА РОССИЯ СТРОНГ!!! Best drinking buddies ever. Now we have a good relationship. Really, because Putin said so, therefore it's right. If Putin said it, therefore it must be true, I trust him - he's good guy and best president. NO OIL FOR YOU!!!!!
  • Ukraine-icon Hochlandball - we are family, but... ХАХАХАХАХАХА!!! КРЫМ НАШ!!! Я ЗАБРАЛ У ТЕБЯ КРЫМ И ТЕПЕРЬ ВСЮ ОСТАЛЬНУЮ ГЛИНУ ВОЗЬМУ!!! Но Львов брать не буду. ПОТОМУ ЧТО ЛЬВОВ - ПОЛЬСКАЯ ГЛИНА!!! АХАХАХАХ ХОХЛЯНДИЯ!!! GIVE INDEPENDENCE TO NOVOROSSIYA!!!!!! AND LET ME ANCHLUSS THEM! KHARKOV, DNIPROPETROVSK, KIEV, ODESSA, ALL UKRAINE CLAY IS RIGHTEOUS ROSSIYA CLAY!!!!!! Runaway EU Peasant. Traitorous apostates who hate us because Natalia Poklonskaya used her Slavic sexiness to Anschluss free Crimea. AND GET OFF THE FENCE! (And so, all is fine), but We orthodox and slavic bros BUT STILL!!!!!!!. SHE.....She of given up her EU offer to improve relations with me, deep inside we still love eachother.
  • ISIS-icon ISISball - СЛУШАЙТЕ, ВЫ ПРИШЛИ НЕ ТУДА, СУКА. Since NATO pigskis aren't doing anything to stop this cyka rat it's up to Mother Russia to save the day. Leave Syria and Iraq alone!
  • Israel-icon Israelcube - This guy thinks I'm his best friend, but no. He is a fake friend because he is a Ally of Evil USA-icon USAball and is offended when I support my loyal best friends Armenia-icon Armeniaball and Iran-icon Iranball. Stop taking me Away from Iran and Armenia because these are my Important Allies, not like yuo which is already an Ally of Evil USA-icon USAball. please don't hurt my friends at all.
  • Japan-icon Japanball - worthly opponnent he want's his land back but he will never get kuril or sakhalin! I hate him for ww2.
  • Kosovo-icon Kosovoball - Never heard of it but you are Serbia.
  • Nazi-icon Nazi Germanyball - Ha! Thank vodka your'e dead! It was fun adopting your son East Germany-icon East Germanyball after WWII!
  • New Zealand-icon New Zealandball - just like Australia-icon Australiaball, American puppet pig kicking out my diplomats
  • Romania-icon Romaniaball - Moldova is of my rightful clay, same with the rest of Bessarabia!orthodox brother
  • Saudi Arabia-icon Saudi Arabiaball - Whabbist Freak thinks I'm his friend, he is a fool, Syria-icon Syriaball and Iran-icon Iranball are my true friends.
  • Somalia-icon Somali Piratesball - you are so dead if you mess with me
  • South Korea-icon South Koreaball - Banned me from the olympics! Never mind. You are true capitalist pig! Must Remove! Boycott activated.  Ok you let in Russian players in, BUT OFFICIAL RUSSIAN TEAM BANNED!!! I am hoping you will fail during the Group Stage on my FIFA WORLD CUP! I am betting you will fail by losing to Germany and Sweden. Your soccer team sucks balls anyway.
  • Lithuania-icon Latvia-icon Estonia-icon Stupid Vodka Removers - American puppet pigs! Always can into independence!
  • DickRhino-icon Swedenball and Norway-icon Norwayball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Protestantism is HERESY made by crazy, vicious Kingdörk Vikings! Finland-icon (still hate their brother)
  • Tahri al Sham-icon.png Tahrir al-Shamball - Another piece of Garbage trying to kill Syria-icon Syriaball and Failing
  • Taiwan-icon Taiwanball - Yuo no of exist, China-icon Chinaball is real china!
  • Taliban-icon Talibanball - Another Filthy Terrorist. USA-icon burger says i support you but i don't!!!!!! i will remove you filthy terrorists!!
  • UK-icon UKballСУКА!! STOP ACCUSINGS ME OF USING NERVE AGENT!!!!! глупый чай!!! NOW 23 OF MY DIPLOMATS BEING EXPELLED FROM YOU, YOUR SON CANADA, AND EVEN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?!  YOU WILL PAY! YOUR PUNISHEMENT IS THE FIRING OF 50 more of YOUR OWN DIPLOMATS FROM MOSCOW! HAH how do you like that now? My foreign affairs SERGEI LAVROV said you are' ''playing with fire and will be sorry' over Salisbury spy poisoning" YOU SHOULD BE!
  • USA-iconUSAball - So..., you elected Trump huh? THATS GREAT!!! We can beings friends now... BUT WHY THE HELL DID YOU REMOVE 60 OF MY DIPLOMATS FROM NEW YORK AND EVEN CLOSED THE CONSULATE IN SEATTLE? I had no choice but to remove your 60 Americans and shut down the consulate in St.Petersburg. I didn't want to do it but you started it. Not my fault!
  • Vatican-icon Vaticanball and Italy-icon Italyball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Catholicism is HERESY made by Romans!

Family

Slavicfamily

Slavic family. Father (Deceased)

Federal Subjects

Russiaball map

Republics

  • Adygea-icon Adygeaball - Huh? Some caucasian republic, right? I should merge you with Krasnodar.
  • Altai-icon Altaiball - these are the mountains I am talking about! Not some crappy Alps. The mountains are also better then NepalRawr's
  • Bashkortostan-icon Bashkortostanball - Go play with your brat Tatarstanball. I know yuo love him. STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR ANNEXATION! YOUR MINE END OF DISCUSSION
  • Buryatia-icon Buryatiaball - Ah, my lovely natural Baikal
  • Chechnya-icon Chechnyaball - Did you just say you want independence huh? (Chechnyaball tries to stab Russiaball) Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t STOP! (Russiaball blocks Chechnyaball in a cage) You are staying with me. I will help you restore Grozny but that's it! Mychechnya!
    • Chechnyaball: Remove kebab removers! Chechnya stronk!
  • Chuvashia-icon Chuvashiaball - My own beer brewery, xaxaxa, let's get waisted, druzya!
  • Crimea-icon Crimeaball - It was a democratic referendum and Crimea is Russian, that's it! End of discussion! XAXAXA UKRAINE? MYKRAINE! STUPID WESTERN PIGDOGS CANNOT ACKNOWLEDGE FACTS, IT WAS NOT OF ANNEXATION! TOTALLY NO POLITICS AND SHOWCASE OF POWER! ONLY OPRESSED RUSSIAN MINORITY! SHUT UP! I OF NOT DESERVINGS SANCTIONS! I SANCTION YUO BACK! MUAHAHAHA! зшзш
    • Ukraineball: Shut up! Is my rightful clay! No one even recognizes the referendum!
    • Russia: You shut up or you get Anschlussed by me!
  • Dagestan-icon Dagestanball - I hope that we will not repeat the Chechnya story with you, right? Aren't you Kareliaball again?
  • Ingushetia-icon Ingushetiaball - Another Caucasian republic. A small place
  • Kabardino-Balkaria-icon Kabardino-Balkariaball - Ah, the mountains...
  • Kalmykia-icon Kalmykiaball - Calm, buddhist place, love to visit for meditation from my bustling city of Moscow.
  • Karachay-Cherkessia-icon Karachay-Cherkessiaball - A caucasian that has Molybdenum, whatever that is.
  • Karelia-icon Kareliaball - My Finnistan; gorgeous nature. XAXAXAXA FINLAND CANNOT INTO KARELIA. KARELIA IS RIGHTFUL RUSSIAN CLAY, YOU HEAR THAT, FINNISTAN? XAXAXA. Ok sorry about that, Dagestanball
  • Khakassia-icon Khakassiaball - Siberian republic. Good in ore mining and loves its megaliths.
  • Komi-icon Komiball - Why did you choose such a difficult name for your capital?! Syk-syktyv-syktyvak-syktyvark... Ah screw it! And why do you think that ö is the superior letter? German dots are the most inferior!
  • Mari El-icon Mari Elball - Produces all kinds of machines and can work nicely with metals. Every time I say "Yoshkar-Ola" Mario fans get excited, I wonder why...
  • Mordovia-icon Mordoviaball - Yeah, I need those chemicals to do warings, make more.
  • North Ossetia–Alania-icon North Ossetia–Alaniaball - Soon... soon I will unite you with South Ossetia! Georgia, you have nothing against this, right? XAXAXAXA
  • Tatarstan-icon Tatarstanball - My industrial republic! Still a bit grumpy about the Golden Horde-icon Golden Horde.
  • Tuva-icon Tuvaball - I know that you like Mongolia, but you are staying here.
  • Udmurtia-icon Udmurtiaball - Oooh! Redheads!
  • Yakutia-icon Yakutiaball - The largest subnational gov. body ever, even my children are largest in the world, xaxaxa! And my coldest region so far. Canada and Norway are nowhere close to me in the freezing departament, xa! Even cows wear bra there to keep warm. You make papa proud!
    Images-1499669652
  • Ukraine-icon Ukraineball

Krais

  • Altai Krai-icon Altaiball - Wait, didn't I mention you already? Ah, that was the republic. Barnauuuul!
  • Kamchatka-icon Kamchatkaball - The best caviar in the world!
  • Khabarovsk Krai-icon Khabarovskball - Far East - best East!
  • Krasnodar Krai-icon Krasnodarball - My summer tourism place & Sochi olympics!
  • Krasnoyarsk Krai-icon Krasnoyarskball - Not to be confused with Krasnodar, this is Siberia. Does a lot of refining and hydropower.
  • Perm Krai-icon Permball - Gib more oil please.
  • Primorsky Krai-icon Primorskyball - End stop of the Trans-Siberian railway and home to the port of Vladivostok. We get our anime shipped through there. Sometimes a Sinophile, I'd say.
  • Stavropol-icon Stavropolball - Agriculture is beautiful, isn't it? Sanctions against western pigdog food will only help us! Help the environment - eat locally! (Oh shit, this is going so wrong, sorry Stavropol)
  • Zabaykalsky-icon Zabaykalskyball - Gib Uranium, I want more warheads!

Oblasts

  • Amur Oblast-icon Amurball - Soon I will be launching spaceships from there! Also, keep a close eye on Kitai, oblast.
  • Arkhangelsk Oblast-icon Arkhangelskball - Was my most important port until I kicked the Ottoman ass and got access to the Black Sea. He an angel. (Idk why)
  • Astrakhan Oblast-icon Astrakhanball - Glorious Volga delta and the best soil in the world!
  • Belgorod Oblast-icon Belgorodball - Iron and chernozem!
  • Bryansk Oblast-icon Bryanskball -
  • Chelyabinsk Oblast-icon Chelyabinskball - He loves meteors!
  • Irkutsk Oblast-icon Irkutskball - Baikal oblast. Sometimes Irkutsk is called the "Paris of Siberia", weird.
  • Ivanovo Oblast-icon Ivanovoball - He sews me vests.
  • Kaliningrad Oblast-icon Kaliningradball - My cute exclave, stole rightfully took him from Nazi as a compensation for the atrocities. Home to the baltic fleet. Xaxa Poland-icon Polsha and Lithuania-icon Lithuania cannot into
  • Kaluga Oblast-icon Kalugaball - A European oblast that wasn't destroyed by Nazi-icon Nazis, at least I have some nice Grandfather's architecture left.
  • Kemerovo Oblast-icon Kemerovoball - Just some Siberian guy who can't into extreme coldness. Recently they had a mall fire.
  • Kirov Oblast-icon Kirovball - Some call him Vyatka. His old name anyways; I could care less.
  • Kostroma Oblast-icon Kostromaball -
  • Kurgan Oblast-icon Kurganball - All I know is the Kurgan Hypothesis from Samara. Not quite related to him though.
  • Kursk Oblast-icon Kurskball - Wow! My compass is going crazy! What kind of magnetic shit is going on, Kursk?
  • Leningrad Oblast-icon Leningradball (Oblast) - The begining of my breathtaking cultutal city!
  • Lipetsk Oblast-icon Lipetskball -
  • Magadan Oblast-icon Magadanball - Я уеду в Магадан!
  • Moscow Oblast-icon Moscow Oblastball - This is what I call "Podmoskovie". Protect my marvelous city, don't let invaders inside!
  • Murmansk Oblast-icon Murmanskball - Hey, stop chatting with Norway there! Back to work! And no Sami language!
  • Nizhny Novgorod Oblast-icon Nizhny Novgorodball - The Volga namestealer to the guy below.
  • Novgorod Oblast-icon Novgorodball - Undefeatable great grandfather of Russia.
  • Novosibirsk Oblast-icon Novosibirskball - Home to the largest Siberian city.
  • Omsk Oblast-icon Omskball Winged Doom-icon - Place of evil!
  • Orenburg Oblast-icon Orenburgball - Unknown, again
  • Oryol Oblast-icon Oryolball - Хороший парень, но не орёл.
  • Penza-icon Penzaball - xaxaxa, Jesusface.
  • Pskov Oblast-icon Pskovball - "I'm from Pskov, a stranger, comes to see the speaking dog".
  • Rostov Oblast-icon Rostovball - Bozhe moi! So many Hochlanders!
  • Ryazan Oblast-icon Ryazanball - Bread 'n' wheat
  • Sakhalin-icon Sakhalinball - An island oblast. Watch carefully the Kuril islands, otherwise Japan will steal them!
  • Samara Oblast-icon Samaraball - Are you that U.S territory?
  • Saratov Oblast-icon Saratovball - Shhh, no one is supposed to know that I have bombs everywhere around you. What do you mean that everyone knows it?!
  • Smolensk Oblast-icon Smolenskball - This guy likes my sister's culture more than my own. Fuck you, kid.
  • Sverlovsk Oblast-icon Sverdlovskball - Murderer of the Royal Romanov Family. Ekaterinburg best burg though.
  • Tambov Oblast-icon Tambovball -
  • Tomsk Oblast-icon Tomskball - eww, swampy. Forestoblast.
  • Tula Oblast-icon Tulaball - Weapon factory. As detailed as jewelry.
  • Tver Oblast-icon Tverball - Oh that neverending medieval Tver and Moscow rivalry (Xa, Moscow ultimately won)
  • Tyumen-icon Tyumenball - Oil and gas controller, Khanty's and Yamal's mother.
  • Ulyanovsk Oblast-icon Ulyanovskball - Old man Lenin.
  • Vladimir Oblast-icon Vladimirball - Putin? Or Lenin?
  • Volgograd Oblast-icon Volgogradball - Fought the vicious Nazi and this resulted in our Victory!
  • Vologda Oblast-icon Vologdaball - the best butter on the world!!!
  • Voronezh Oblast-icon Voronezhball -
  • Yaroslavl Oblast-icon Yaroslavlball - Are you Yugoslaviaball?

Federal Cities

  • Moscow-icon Moscowball - The most spectacular capital in the whole world! This is what a real capital city looks like.
  • Saint Petersburg-icon Saint Petersburgball - My glorious gem! Often called the Northern Capital and the cultural centre of Russia!
  • Sevastopol-icon Sevastopolball - Shh, Hochland, this is my port now, XAXAXA.

Autonomous Okrugs

  • Chukotka-icon Chukotkaball - Far eastern okrug, I don't contact with him a lot. Better leave him alone to his Chukchi business. Only okrug who goes on his own.
  • Nenets-icon Nenetsball - Tell other subjects the secret of having a high GDP per capita.
  • Khanty-Mansi-icon Khanty–Mansiball - Oil okrug! But Khanty, you know that you should give away all oilmoney to papa and sister Moscow, no complains!
  • Yamalo-Nenets-icon Yamalo-Nenetsball - Gas okrug! Gazprom's playground.

Autonomous Oblast

  • Jewish Autonomous Oblast-icon Jewish Autonomous Oblastcube - Oy vey, you say? Some random jew on my clay. Wait a minute... HOMOSEX DETECTED!
  • Russia precedes to eliminate the homosexual oblast

Famous Russians

Gallery

Artworks

Comics

Videos