— Russia after watching England lose
|“||RUSH B BLYAT||”|
Russiaball, officially the Russian Federationball, is a Slavic country in both Eastern Europe, and Northern Central and East Asia. His clay borders the Arctic Ocean to the North, Azerbaijanball, Chinaball, Georgiaball, Kazakhbrick, Mongoliaball, and North Koreaball to the South, the Pacific ocean and just off the coast of Alaskaball to the East, and Belarusball, Estoniaball, Finlandball, Latviaball, Ukraineball, and Norwayball to the East. The country is divided into 85 federal subjects, including his capital Moscowball which acts as one of the federal cities including Saint Petersburgball and disputably Sevastopolball though Ukraine may also claim it, giving him a total area of 6,601,670 square miles (Without Crimea), making him the largest country in the world, even larger than Plutoball.
After his father Soviet Unionball died (still a Soviet by with a different colour) and all of his siblings separated, Russia took matter into his own hands and created many Eastern-based organizations to counter against the Western world, such as CISball, CSTOball, and Eurasian Unionball. Russia also has a supranational union with his sister Belarusball, and has a permanent seat in the UNball security council.
His national day is December 25
In the 9th century Ancient Slavs inhabited the lands that are now Russiaball. On these lands Slavs based 2 biggest rus' cities at that time: Novgorodball in the north and Kievball in the south. Novgorod was well-developed, strong, very warlike and unruly city, Novgorodians fought with all nearby tribes. In the late of 9th century citizens of Novgorodball invited Vikings to the city. "Our land is large and abundant, but there is no order in it", said Novgorodians to them and asked them to become rulers of the Novgorodball. The Vikings agreed. New rulers united southern Kievball and northern Novgorodball and forged them into a nation called Kievan Rusball. Slowly Viking rulers adopted native customs and language and were assimilated into Russian society
Meanwhile, Europe was attacked by -wait for it- the Mongols! At first, they destroyed towns and massacred the inhabitants but later let the Russian principalities rule themselves as long as they paid tribute.
" Lord Novgorodball the Great" (his favourite nickname) however was not invaded, but he wisely decided to voluntarily submit to the Mongol Empireball. While under the Mongols, Lord Novgorodball the Great decided to annex surrounding territory
(in Russiaball annexing territory is a national sport equal to drinking) and his ruler became the prince of Moscow in 1263. But it did not stop there, his next rulers also gradually kept annexing large amounts of territory, slowly becoming larger and stronger.
Ivan III (1462 - 1505) removed Mongol in 1480 ceasing to be a slave. He also annexed territory. The last independent parts of Russiaball were annexed by his son Vasili III thus Russiaball gradually became complete.
In 1547 he became Tsardom of Russiaball. In the 16th century Russiaball had far more contact with western Europe. Many European craftsmen came to work in Russiaball, Englandball began trading by sea with him.
In 1533 Ivan the Terrible inherited the throne of Russiaball, he was crowned Tsar (derived from the Roman Caesar). He also expanded Russiaball territory annexing clay (
drinking and annexing are the joy of Rus) mostly from the remains of Mongol Empireball, HA! TAKE THAT NOOBS! TAKE IT! TAKE IT! YUO DESERVE IT! DON'T MESS WITH RUSKY! GG WP EASY! After that glorious period, Ivan became increasingly paranoid degenerating into a tyrant. He killed his own son. He died in 1584. His other son, Theodore, died in 1598 without leaving an heir and Russiaball entered a period of turmoil.
In 1603 a pole man aka "The False Dmitry" claiming to be Ivan the Terrible's youngest son Dmitry appeared. In reality, Dmitry died in 1591. He then raised an army and conquered Moscow in 1605. But he was replaced by Prince Vasily Shusky in 1606. Russiaball then descended into anarchy "It's of every vodka for himself!" until a man named Michael Romanov was made tsar of Russiaball, starting the era of the Romanov dynasty that would last for 300 years.
In 1645, Michael Romanov was succeeded by his son, Alexis the Most Gentle. During his reign, the Ukrainians, who were ruled by the Poles, sought protection from Russia. This event started The Deluge where Poland-Lithuaniaball lost more than half of its population, you had it coming! In 1667 Russia gained all of the Ukraine east of the Dneiper and Kiev and Smolensk.
In 1682 the famous Peter the Great became Tsar. He was determined to bring Russia up to date and turn it into a European nation. In 1696-97 he travelled to the west. He built a navy and in 1696 he captured Azov from kebab. Peter encouraged foreign trade, the translation of foreign books into Russian, the building of factories (peasants were conscripted to work in them), introduced the Julian calendar, reformed the Russian government and administration, introduced western dress and banned the Russian nobles (boyars) from wearing beards. When the patriarch died in 1700 Peter refused to replace him. Instead, he formed a body called a Holy Synod to head the Russian Orthodox Church.
The church was made subordinate to the Tsar and was meant to serve him. Peter also founded a port in northwest Russia called St Petersburg. The new city was built in the years 1703-1712. Vast numbers of peasants were conscripted to do the work and many thousands of them died because of the harsh conditions. Peter also imposed heavy taxation on his people.
In 1700 Peter the Great went to war with Swedenball in what became known as The Great Northern War. ( Polandball and Denmarkball were his allies). In 1700 the he was defeated at Neva. However in 1709 Swedenball invaded Ukraineball and were crushed at the Battle of Poltava. In 1721 he made peace with Swedenball gaining Estonia and land around the Gulf of Finland. ( Ingriaball)
However Peter was less successful against the kebab. In 1710 he went to war with them but in 1711 his army was defeated and he was forced to make peace. He was forced to return Azov.
In 1721 Russia became the Russian Empireball. After Peter the Great's death in 1725 a few other boring rulers came. But then in 1762 came another Russian jewel: Catherine the Great.
Catherine was German, but she loved Russia with all of her heart. Under her reign, The Russian Empire has reached such heyday as under the rule of Peter the Great. Under Catherine's rule Russian Empireball continued to expand his clay. She fought a successful war with kebab in 1768-1774. As a result, Russian Empireball gained land by the Black Sea and in 1783 took Crimea. kebab lost still more territory after a war in 1787-1791.
In 1772, Russian Empireball, Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austrian Empireball helped themselves to a slice of Polandball each. Russian Empireball and Kingdom of Prussiaball helped themselves to more Polandball each in 1793. Finally in 1795 Russian Empireball, Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austrian Empireball divided up what was left of Polandball between them. By the time Catherine died in 1796 Russia was very powerful.
Russian Empireball later fought with Franceball, UKball, Ottomanball, the Japanese Empireball and the German Empireball. Also, While fighting the in the Osowiec Fortress. The Germans released a gas attack, killing the Russian's 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th armies. Then, the remaining 80th and 13th armies surprised the German's 14 bayonets, causing them to retreat. The Russian Empire resembles the weakness of the Russian people. To this day Russia hates the empire
- Main article: Soviet Unionball
Soviet Unionball was born in 1903 as Bolshevikbal, which became Russian SFSRball, but had to defeat the traitorous white army. He emerged victorious in 1922, and attempted to spread communism into the former territories of his father's empire, creating Ukrainian and Byelorussian SSRballs. But Polandball was able to stop communism's advance into Europe, for a while...
On 1st September 1939, Nazi Germanyball invaded Polandball's clay, followed by Sovietball on the 17th of September, splitting Polandball's clay up. Around this time, Sovietball was setting up gulags in Siberia and kidnapping other countryballs who lived near him: like Estoniaball, Latviaball, Lithuaniaball, and Moldovaball, turning them into communist SSRballs. He even tried to annex Finlandball's, but was stopped by the more prepared Finns.Yet Sovietball Won the war and took lots of Finlandball's still surrendered clay to him at the end because of casualties.
World War II (1940-45)
In 1941 Nazi Germanyball broke the non-aggression pact and invaded Sovietball's clay with Operation Barbarossa. Naziball besieged Leningrad, and reached the outskirts of Moscow by December 1941, but was forced back because of the Russian winter. The more prepared Sovietball took advantage of the delay by launching a counter-offensive in the spring. Then when Nazi Germanyball tried to take Stalingrad and the Caucasus Mountains(for oil because they ran ot of oil), he held out in the city of Stalingrad, then surrounded Nazi Germanyball's forces, trapping them.
Nazi Germanyball was defeated at the battle of Kursk, afterwards being thrown back, with Sovietball liberating Minskball, Kievball, Warsawball, and reaching Berlinball by February 1945, when Nazi Germanyball committed suicide. Not shortly after, Sovietball declared war on Japanese Empireball, who surrendered to USAball in September 1945, ending the war.
Cold War (1945-1991)
After World War II, Sovietball installed communist governments in many of the Eastern European countryballs he had liberated, such as PR Hungaryball, SR Romaniaball, and PR Polandball. The part of Nazi Germanyball's clay he had occupied was given to his adoptive son East Germanyball, in 1949, and an iron curtain descended across Europe, beginning the Cold War.
Sovietball's foe - NATOball was created, so Soviet made the Warsaw Pactball in response. In 1950, Sovietball helped North Koreaball in the Korean War, then put down rebellions by East Germanyball and Hungaryball. Later USAball lost a proxy war to North Vietnamball in 1973.
In 1968 Sovietball started a nuclear power program in Kazakh SSRbrick clay, by spying on USAball. This caused some problems with USAball in 1962 when Sovietball placed nuclear missiles on the newly-communist Cubaball's clay, leading to the Cuban missile crisis. However, in 1986 the Chernobylball disaster made the Sovietball more cautious of this destructive technology.
By 1989, Sovietball's economy could no longer function properly and started to fracture, and he was forced to withdraw from Afganistanball's clay. In 1989 his Warsaw Pactball members started to leave. In 1990 Lithuaniaball was the first to succeed and so did the others soon in 1991 after the military coup. The Soviet Union ultimately collapsed.
After retreating and hiding the Soviet icon. Russiaball first behaved more lightly. But after the war in Chechnyaball, Russiaball pulled himself together and started to build a new life.
In 2014, Russiaball returned his son - Crimeaball - to his clay, despite the fact that the almost rest of the world was against it.
Russia will not be stopped by protestors and will even arrest teenagers who post anti-religious memes and are stupid enough to complain about pension plans!
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- ALBAball - Greatest Countries in America, they are the Anti Imperialists!
- Algeriaball - Best North African Friend, He supports me on Assad and Buys a lot of my weapons.
- Abkhaziaball - I will Protect you from Georgiaball. You can get independence!
- Angolaball - Another friend since Soviet Times, I helped him out during his multiple personality disorder
- Armeniaball - A loyal friend in the Caucasus region (perhaps only friend there really)
- Belarusball - The best friend and little sister. Love her♥ so much. Thanks for backing me up saying I didn't do the nerve gas attack.
- Boliviaball - Anti Imperialist in the Western Hemisphere
- Brazilball - Well, they are a part of BRICS, add vodka in their cocktails, and hate the German devil, so why not? but Unfortunately he wants to remove my friend, Venezuelaball
- Burundiball - Anti-Imperialist African Friend who support me on Crimea and Syria.
- Bulgariaball - Brother and one of my best friends. Even if Bulgariaball is in NATO and EU. But this makes him confused.
- Cambodiaball - Good friend of Chinaball and is also really friendly with me, we are doing a lot of economic projects together and thank you for voting against the Crimea Resoluthas.
- Chinaball - Best friend. Both Can Into Remove Capitalist Pigs!!!! Congratulation on having President Xi for Life. 习近平万岁! EXCELLENT MILITARY DEMONSTRATION IN VOSTOK 2018! IT SHOWS THOSE BASTARDS THAT THE FAR EAST ISNT JUST CONTROLLED BY ME!
- Cubaball - I'm sorry about the loss of Fidel Castro, hope we can be true buddies in the future.
- Eastern Orthodoxy - State religion of the future Holy Russian Empire, and bulwark against the German devil (forget the atheist Soviet era, it never worked. Besides Nazi version of German Devil was removed, because Soviet people belived in бог).
- Egyptball - Recently insane, relationships since
I helpings him to remove kosher when I was of USSRlong time of both helpings each other out, always of visiting Egyptball in vacation, she is makings me room in his new canal, of supporting christianity in there helped him in his canal war. He also supports me on Syriaball and his government is similar his, of likings him and He is also giving me military bases and intends to help me to be a gateway to Libyaball, cause he was independent and anti-imperialist policy earned him enthusiastic support from the Communist government of the USSR.
- Eritreaball - Although he is crazy, he is one of my closest African allies and we get along and I give him economic support, I'll make sure my buddy, Sudanball keeps an eye on you just in case
- Eurasian Unionball -
GREAT RUSSIAN EMPIRE SHALL RETURN!great Russia's son. this is better than that sissies club
- Fijiball - Great Pacific Friend (If not one of the only in the region), he hates USAball, Australiaball, and New Zealandball, but still has ties with UKball. Still, he also buys my weapons.
- Gaddafiball - Rest in Peace my Good Friend.
- Guinea-Bissauball - We gib him Weapons, also friend during Soviet Times
- Hezbollahball - We are kicking ass in Syriaball and removing Fake Syria and Goat Fuckers
- Hungaryball - despite being in NATOball and EUball, he doesn't hate me and we generally get along.
- Indiaball - I gib him lots of weapons so he likes me and I like him. Pays lots of monies. Also both in BRICS and SCO together. But y yuo no remob Kebab ? DEFEND CURRY!
- Indonesiaball - COMRADE! We are good friends since the old days. We are of sharing weapons and military equipment. Thanks for the generous friendship and sorry for my plane's crash in 2012. Both can into Muslims. I promise to keep commies off your land, brother! Spasibo...
- Iranball - I know in the 19th century we were enemies and also times of russia, but now we are of best friends and I like him, he also me. We are Strategic Allies, who knows who this works. Your capital Tehran is very big and cultureful I like it. Xaxaxa and We have problems with this pig and his NATO.
- Iraqball - Helped him against ISIS, and he is also a good friend.
- Kazakhbrick - My brother. Kazakstan sometimes lets me use his lawn for launching rockets into space and into anybody he wants removed. Is of good Kebab.
- Kyrgyzstanball - Good kebab friend, we can into CSTOball
- Laosball - Good friend and one of the BEST buddies.
- Luhanskball and Donetskball - I'll protect you from Nazi!
- Mongoliaball - Good Trading Partner and Friend but 1237 NEVER FORGET!!!!!!!
- Myanmarball - Chinaball and I support you on the Rohingyas and He buys a lot of my Weapons.
- Nauruball - Little island friend who recognizes Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball
- Nicaraguaball - anti imperialist friend in Central America
- North Koreaball - Please shut up about your nukes or I will remove you with my mightiness. Wait, you removed nukes? Oh...ok then. You also recognize Crimeaball as mine and support me on Syriaball.
- Palestineball - His president was a KGB member in 1984. And this guy is an anti western. I usually help him against those jew.
- Philippinesball - Duterte is best president! Finally buying military weapons from me instead from Burger. Also, June 12 is me and little comrade's special day! Russia day for me and independence for him.
- SCOball - Closest thing so far to a military alliance between me and Chinaball
- Serbiaball - Good Brother! But remove Vucic, he likes NATO. Both Remove Kebab! and I Support him on Kosovo.Remember,whoever touches Serbia touches Russia!
- Slovakiaball - like Hungaryball, he can into NATOball and EUball but we still generally get along
- South Africaball - Can into BRICSbricks and also great trading partner and friend
- South Ossetiaball - I will Protect you from Georgiaball. You can get independence!
- South Sudanball - Anti Imperialist African Friend
- Somalilandball - Unofficial friend, I may gib recognition because I may get military base
- Sudanball - One of my best friends in Africa, he recently visited me and is offering me a military base, thanks for supporting me on Crimeaball
- Syriaball - Will of helping him get through his NATO-engineered civil war on top. I will defend you from
PindosiyaAmerica and NATOball. Also will remove that evil ISIS rat, and evil fake parasite
- Tajikistanball - Indo-Aryan Military Ally.
- Transnistriaball - I will protect you from Moldovaball.
- Tobrukball - The Libya faction that I support, he may even give Military base
- Turkmenistanball - While he is not a military ally since he is neutral, the two of us generally get along and he is an oil supplier.
- Ugandaball - Good African Friend and We hunt Homosexuals Together
- Uzbekistanball - Turkic Friend and Good Kebab.He was wary of recognizing but now he does and we restarted Military Cooperation
- Qatarball - We have a good relationships , Like Iranball and hate Saudi Arabiaball
- Venezuelaball - Great South American Friend who recognizes Crimea, Abkhazia and South Ossetia. Hating the Pig, he reminds me of me back in the day, and all the fun times I had with Ukraine.
- Vietnamball - Good friend but stop calling me Soviet, am Russia. Soviet is of my past self.
Soon Soviet will return, Comrade!c
- Western Saharaball - Unofficial Friend thanks for recognizing South Ossetiaball
- Zimbabweball - Anti Imperialist African friend, also friend since soviet Times, probably my closest African Friend along with Sudanball
- Soviet Unionball - Dad! Those were the better days. Saved me from Nazi Germany in WW2! Also helped me into SPACE! I honour you for all you've done!
- South Koreaball - We are now good friends thanks to the President Moon Jae-in.
- Azerbaijanball - Me and him have a mixed relations... Because of Armeniaball but my people visit his capital and we do trade and we give 12 points to each other in Eurovision so I have my eye on him
- Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - Relations are mixed because he contains Srpska Republicball who love me but the other part of him is not that fond of me
- Croatiaball - Slavic brother with magnificent beaches You t lost to France but still played hard enough to beat me.
- Czechiaball - Yuor beer is execting, do yuo want vodka? But sadly, he can into NATOball.
- Denmarkball - My good Viking friend. I helped him in some of his wars.
You are a good comrade unlike your useless irrelevant brothers.
- Ethiopiaball - He doesn't like that I am friends with Eritreaball and that I supported his communist side, but we are still willing to cooperate and he is orthodox and he doesn't take positions that are Anti Russian
- Italyball - Good trade partner! But in NATOball and German devil alliance. Speaking of Germany, me and Italy both hate him. So we're fine.
- Latviaball - New baltic friend since October 2018. But I have more potato XAXAXAXAXA!
- Libyaball - Burger absolutely raped you, but now that I saved my buddy Syriaball, I'm going to try to stabilize you now
- Macedoniaball - Doesn't want him to be with Bulgariaball, Greece and EU, nor Serbiaball, nor Albania.
- Malaysiaball - I helped him into space but I've commited a crim to him by shootings down his plane. I'm sorry for shootings down your plane and btw, lets recognize Crimea as part of me.
- Moldovaball - We get along and we both were together during Soviet Union time. Hope to be "close" brothers you know what I mean.
- Montenegroball - We were really friendly but he dumped me for NATOball and sanctioned me.
- Moroccoball - Good relations but he supports the enemies of my allies and I and friendlier with Algeriaball
- Pakistanball - Relations are starting to improve but don't you dare remove Curry and stop funding terrorists, but we can into SCOball
- Papua New Guineaball - Potential new pacific friend, I deployed Warship to his place
- Polandball - We both share a common relationship and we get along politically and we both are critics of this Hochland. But can you do me a favour and remove your rocket defense from Warsaw. Its "threatening me" and we will respond "harshly with full measures" if you wan. Happy 100th anniversary to you. Promise not to piss you off Kurwa :)
- Thailandball - Love Pattaya. Relationship is not great though (But it is improving)
- Turkeyball - Complicated relations, he wants to become friendly with me but he killed my diplomat and shot down my plane. But then on 15 July, our agents learned that there will be an attack to Erdoğan. Strange fellow.
- Vaticanball - Orthodox Christianity is only Christianity! But both can into Catholic. And Putin and Pope Francis like each other.
- Albaniaball - Fool, who picks on my good friendski Serbiaball
and let me don't worry I will anschless you USAball butt lickerKOSOVO IS SERBIA YOU SUKA BLYAT
- Al-Qaedaball - Never Forget the War in Afghanistan, you filthy terrorist
- Australiaball - American Puppet pig in Pacific, he kicked out my diplomats and supports Ukraineball and stay away from Chinaball. Though my leader likes his koalas
- Belarusian Democratic Republicball - EUball puppet, you are of fake Belarusball
- Canadaball - I WILL CRUSH YOUR ASS IN THE WORLD JUNIORS 2019 IN ROGERS ARENA! I WILL MAKE THE CHINESE IN STADIUM CHINATOWN VANCOUVER START A RIOT YOU BLYAT! VANCOUVER WILL BE OUR HOCKEY VICTORY FOR TEAM RUSSIA IN THE WORLD JUNIORS!!
- Chechnyaball - He is of terrible when separatist, this fanatic was of hard to remove.
- Finlandball - Used to be my clay after I anschluss him from Sweden. He is also my second worst fear. At least he can into vodka. Renegade province. BUT I AM NOT GIVING KARAELIA BACK! (Because you stole my vodka, Suka Blyat!) But we like suana and vodka so we're cool...
- FSAball - Fake Syria and a bunch of terrorists
- Furries & Rule 34 -
STOP FETISHIZING ZABIVAKA YOU BLYAT'!!!HE'S CREATED NOT TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT!!!
- Gay and Lesbian Kingdomball - Abomination! Remove!!!!
- Georgiaball - I defeated you easily. So gib Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball their independence!
And let me anschluss them!
- Germanyball, The Sissies Club and NATOball -
Антихристы. Зло, родители которых - [цензура] Вавилона и Сатана. Злейшие враги славянской расы. УБРАТЬ ТЕВТОНСКИХ РЫЦАРЕЙ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ПРУССИЮ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ АНШЛЮС, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ НАЦИЗМ! УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ, ИХ КЕБАБСКИХ СОЮЗНИКОВ И МАЛЕНЬКИХ ЧЕРТЕЙ МАРОККО, АМЕРИКИ И ИЗРАИЛЯ! РУССКАЯ СЛАВЯНСКАЯ ЗИМА И ПРАВОСЛАВИЕ СТРОНГ, СТАЛИНГРАДСКАЯ БИТВА — ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ! АЛЕКСАНДР НЕВСКИЙ ДОЛЖЕН ВЕРНУТЬСЯ, ЧТОБЫ ОТПРАВИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ И КЕБАБОВ ОБРАТНО В АД!! ХВАТИТ ОБИЖАТЬ ВЕЛИКОБРИТАНИЮ! МАТУШКА РОССИЯ СТРОНГ!!!Best drinking buddies ever. Now we have a good relationship. NO OIL FOR YOU!!!!
- Greeceball - WHY THE HELL DID YOU EXPELL MY DIPLOMATS!!! We may be orthodox brothers, but YOUR NOT MY COMRADE ANYMORE!!!
- Hochlandball - We were good until I invaded Crimea. After that we both despised each other. Kinda still do but we're better nowadays. Deep down inside, we still love each other and I hope to become friends. He even gave up his EU request to try and be friends! Trump will work our relationship out. But why you kill leader of Dontesk? Or is Dontesk lying to me? Please tell the truth! But once again, we still love each other deep down inside! Love/hate relationship.
- ISISball -
СЛУШАЙ СЮДА СУКА ПЕРЕСТАНЬ ТРОГАТЬ СИРИЮ,ТЫ НЕ НА ТУ СТРАНУ НАПАЛ!.Since NATO pigskis aren't doing anything to stop this suka rat it's up to Mother Russia to save the day. Leave Syria and Iraq alone! AND HE TRIED TO ATTACK ME ON MY WORLD CUP 2018 ??? REMOVE JIHAD !!
- Israelcube - I support Iranball, Iraqball, Syriaball, Sudanball and those who hate you. stupid burger puppet. We have had hostile relations since the Soviet Times. I recognized you initially and then you revealed your self to be burger pig dogs so since then I supports the arabs. Why would we be friends with all those I'm supporting. You also shot down Syrian planes.
- Japanball - Eorthly opponnent. He wants his land back, but he will never get Kuril or Sakhalin! I hate him for WW2.
- Kosovoball - Never heard of it but you are Serbia.
- Nazi Germanyball - Ha! Thank vodka your'e dead! It was fun adopting your son East Germanyball after WWII!
- New Zealandball - just like Australiaball, American puppet pig kicking out my diplomats
- Romaniaball - Moldova is of my rightful clay, same with the rest of Bessarabia! Stop blaming me on everything,u american lovers.
- Saudi Arabiaball - Whabbist Freak thinks I'm his friend, he is a fool, Syriaball and Iranball are my true friends. I like how I removed you on world cup this year.
- Somali Piratesball - you are so dead if you mess with me
- Lithuaniaball and Estoniaball -
American puppet pigs!Always can into independence! At least can into vodka.
- Swedenball: HOW DARE YOU HUMILATE A CHINESE TOURIST IN STOCKHOLM! YOU WILL BE DEALT BY ME AND THE GLORIOUS ZHONGGUO!
- Tahrir al-Shamball - Another piece of Garbage trying to kill Syriaball and Failing
- Taiwanball - Yuo no of exist, Chinaball is real china!
- Talibanball - Another Filthy Terrorist. Burger says I support you but I don't!!!!!! I will remove you filthy terrorists!!
- UKball - XAXAXAXA YUO LOST AGAINST FRANCE AND CROATIA XAXAXAXA! But, Please stop accusing me for using nerve agent. You also fired my diplomats. Also stop supporting Ukraine.
- USAball - We DID have a summit with USAball in Helsinkiball and we both hate Terrorists, Remove sanctions, please? Now this fat baboon left THE INF TREATY, do you want to nuke the world?
Countries who supported Russia against the USA leaving the Nuclear arms race treaty
- Democratic Republic of the Congoball
- El Salvadorball
- North Koreaball
- South Sudanball
- Kievan Rusball - Great Great Grandfather (Deceased)
- Tsardom of Russiaball - Great Grandfather (Deceased)
- Russian Empireball - The Grandfather who I hate soo much for starving my population. SUKA SUKA! DIE YOU ASSHOLE (VERY DEAD)
- USSRball- Father (Alive in Russia's body)
- Yugoslaviaball - Uncle (Deceased)
- Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealthball - Uncle
- Kingdom of Bohemiaball - Uncle
- Belarusball - Best Brother/Sister (and cutest) (not homosex)
- Ukraineball - Brother
WHO IS MY CLAY XAXAXAXAXA!!!
- Crimeaball - Brother/Adoptive Son
- Dagestanball - Half Brother
- Kareliaball - Half Sister
- Armeniaball - Adoptive Brother
- Azerbaijanball - Adoptive Brother
- Georgiaball - Adoptive Brother
- Kazakhbrick - Adoptive Brother
- Kyrgyzstanball - Adoptive Brother
- Tajikistanball - Adoptive Brother
- Turkmenistanball - Adoptive Brother
- Uzbekistanball - Adoptive Brother
- Bosniaball - Cousin
- Bulgariaball - Cousin
- Croatiaball - Cousin
- Czechiaball - Cousin
- Macedoniaball - Cousin
- Montenegroball - Cousin
- Polandball - Cousin
- Serbiaball - Cousin
- Slovakiaball - Cousin
- Sloveniaball - Cousin
- USAball - Cousin-in-law
(fuck we're actually family)
- USAball - Cousin-in-law
- Alaskaball - Biological Son
- Chechnyaball - Son
- Ingushetiaball - Son
- Tatarstanball - Son
- Transnistriaball - Son
- Novorossiyaball - Nephew
- Artsakhball - Adoptive Nephew
- Abkhaziaball - Adoptive Nephew
- South Ossetiaball - Adoptive Nephew
- Adygeaball - Huh? Some Caucasian republic, right? I should merge you with Krasnodar.
- Altaiball - these are the mountains I am talking about! Not some crappy Alps.
The mountains are also better then NepalRawr's
- Bashkortostanball - Go play with your brat Tatarstanball. I know yuo love him.
STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR ANNEXATION! YOUR MINE END OF DISCUSSION
- Buryatiaball - Ah, my lovely natural Baikal
- Chechnyaball - Did you just say you want independence huh? (Chechnyaball tries to stab Russiaball) Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t STOP! (Russiaball blocks Chechnyaball in a cage) You are staying with me. I will help you restore Grozny but that's it! Mychechnya!
- Chechnyaball: Remove kebab removers! Chechnya stronk!
- Chuvashiaball - My own beer brewery, xaxaxa, let's get waisted, druzya!
- Crimeaball - It was a democratic referendum and Crimea is Russian, that's it! End of discussion!
XAXAXA UKRAINE? MYKRAINE! STUPID WESTERN PIGDOGS CANNOT ACKNOWLEDGE FACTS, IT WAS NOT OF ANNEXATION! TOTALLY NO POLITICS AND SHOWCASE OF POWER! ONLY OPRESSED RUSSIAN MINORITY! SHUT UP! I OF NOT DESERVINGS SANCTIONS! I SANCTION YUO BACK! MUAHAHAHA! зшзш
- Ukraineball: Shut up! Is my rightful clay! No one even recognizes the referendum!
- Russia: You shut up or you get Anschlussed by me!
- Dagestanball - I hope that we will not repeat the Chechnya story with you, right?
Aren't you Kareliaball again?
- Ingushetiaball - Another Caucasian republic. A small place, likes Chechnya though
- Kabardino-Balkariaball - Ah, the mountains...
- Kalmykiaball - Calm, buddhist place, love to visit for meditation from my bustling city of Moscow.
- Karachay-Cherkessiaball - A caucasian that has Molybdenum, whatever that is.
- Kareliaball - My Finnistan; gorgeous nature.
XAXAXAXA FINLAND CANNOT INTO KARELIA. KARELIA IS RIGHTFUL RUSSIAN CLAY, YOU HEAR THAT, FINNISTAN? XAXAXA. Ok sorry about that, Dagestanball
- Khakassiaball - Siberian republic. Good in ore mining and loves its megaliths.
- Komiball - Why did you choose such a difficult name for your capital?! Syk-syktyv-syktyvak-syktyvark... Ah screw it! And why do you think that ö is the superior letter? German dots are the most inferior!
- Mari Elball - Produces all kinds of machines and can work nicely with metals. Every time I say "Yoshkar-Ola" Mario fans get excited, I wonder why...
- Mordoviaball - Yeah, I need those chemicals to do warings, make more.
- North Ossetia–Alaniaball - Soon... soon I will unite you with South Ossetia! Georgia, you have nothing against this, right? XAXAXAXA
- Tatarstanball - My industrial republic! Still a bit grumpy about the Golden Horde.
- Tuvaball - I know that you like Mongolia, but you are staying here.
- Udmurtiaball - Oooh! Redheads!
- Yakutiaball - The largest subnational gov. body ever, even my children are largest in the world, xaxaxa! And my coldest region so far. Canada and Norway are nowhere close to me in the freezing departament, xa! Even cows wear bra there to keep warm. You make papa proud!
- Altaiball - Wait, didn't I mention you already? Ah, that was the republic. Barnauuuul!
- Kamchatkaball - The best caviar in the world!
- Khabarovskball - Far East - best East!
- Krasnodarball - My summer tourism place & Sochi olympics!
- Krasnoyarskball - Not to be confused with Krasnodar, this is Siberia. Does a lot of refining and hydropower.
- Permball - Gib more oil please.
- Primorskyball - End stop of the Trans-Siberian railway and home to the port of Vladivostok. We get our anime shipped through there. Sometimes a Sinophile, I'd say.
- Stavropolball - Agriculture is beautiful, isn't it? Sanctions against western pigdog food will only help us! Help the environment - eat locally! (Oh shit, this is going so wrong, sorry Stavropol)
- Zabaykalskyball - Gib Uranium, I want more warheads!
- Amurball - Soon I will be launching spaceships from there! Also, keep a close eye on Kitai, oblast.
- Arkhangelskball - Was my most important port until I kicked the Ottoman ass and got access to the Black Sea. He an angel. (Idk why)
- Astrakhanball - Glorious Volga delta and the best soil in the world!
- Belgorodball - Iron and chernozem!
- Bryanskball - Unknown
- Chelyabinskball - He loves meteors!
- Irkutskball - Baikal oblast. Sometimes Irkutsk is called the "Paris of Siberia", weird.
- Ivanovoball - He sews me vests.
- Kaliningradball - My cute exclave,
stolerightfully took him from Nazi as a compensation for the atrocities. Home to the baltic fleet. Xaxa Polsha and Lithuania cannot into
- Kalugaball - A European oblast that wasn't destroyed by Nazis, at least I have some nice Grandfather's architecture left. And thanks for discoveries in the field of Cosmonautics
- Kemerovoball - Just some Siberian guy who can't into extreme coldness. Recently they had a mall fire.
- Kirovball - Some call him Vyatka. His old name anyways; I could care less.
- Kostromaball - Unknown
- Kurganball - All I know is the Kurgan Hypothesis from Samara. Not quite related to him though.
- Kurskball - Wow! My compass is going crazy! What kind of magnetic shit is going on, Kursk?
- Leningradball (Oblast) - The begining of my breathtaking cultutal city!
- Lipetskball - Unknown
- Magadanball -
Я уеду в Магадан!
- Moscow Oblastball - This is what I call "Podmoskovie". Protect my marvelous city, don't let invaders inside!
- Murmanskball - Hey, stop chatting with Norway there! Back to work! And no Sami language!
- Nizhny Novgorodball - The Volga namestealer to the guy below.
- Novgorodball - Undefeatable great grandfather of Russia.
- Novosibirskball - Home to the largest Siberian city.
- Omskball -
Place of evil!
- Orenburgball - Unknown, again
- Oryolball -
Хороший парень, но не орёл.
- Penzaball - xaxaxa, Jesusface.
- Pskovball - "I'm from Pskov, a stranger, comes to see the speaking dog", also why do you not have an official flag?
- Rostovball - Bozhe moi! So many Hochlanders!
- Ryazanball - Bread 'n' wheat
- Sakhalinball - An island oblast. Watch carefully the Kuril islands, otherwise Japan will steal them!
- Samaraball - Are you that U.S territory?
- Saratovball - Shhh, no one is supposed to know that I have bombs everywhere around you. What do you mean that everyone knows it?!
- Smolenskball - This guy likes my sister's culture more than my own. Fuck you, kid.
- Sverdlovskball - Murderer of the Royal Romanov Family. Ekaterinburg best burg though.
- Tambovball - Unknown
- Tomskball - eww, swampy Forest oblast.
- Tulaball - Weapon factory. As detailed as jewelry.
- Tverball - Oh that neverending medieval Tver and Moscow rivalry (Xa, Moscow ultimately won)
- Tyumenball - Oil and gas controller, Khanty's and Yamal's mother.
- Volgogradball - Fought the vicious Nazi and this resulted in our Victory!
- Vologdaball - the best butter on the world!!!
- Voronezhball - Unknown
- Yaroslavlball - Are you Yugoslaviaball?
- Moscowball - The most spectacular capital in the whole world! This is what a real capital city looks like.
- Saint Petersburgball - My glorious gem! Often called the Northern Capital and the cultural centre of Russia!
- Sevastopolball - Shh, Hochland, this is my port now, XAXAXA.
Gazprom's oil fields
- Chukotkaball - Far eastern okrug, I don't contact with him a lot. Because we are too far to meeting together. Better leave him alone to his Chukchi business. Only okrug who goes on his own.
- Nenetsball - Tell other subjects the secret of having a high GDP per capita.
- Khanty–Mansiball - Oil okrug! But Khanty, you know that you should give away all oilmoney to grandpa and aunt Moscow, no complains!
- Yamalo-Nenetsball - Gas okrug! Gazprom's playground.
- Jewish Autonomous Oblastcube - Oy vey, you say? Some random jews on my clay. Wait a minute... HOMOSEX DETECTED! *KILL*
- Russia precedes to eliminate the