— Russia after tricking Poland
Russiaball is usually strong, proud, and it got better compared to its old Soviet days, and known for its constant rivalry against Pindosiyaball and Germanyball and its worst enemy (
and nightmare) is NATOball.
Russiaball is a member of the G20 (Group of Twenty), a club formed by the countryballs that have the 19 largest economies plus that Sissies Club. He is starting to be bittersweet relations with USAball.
He is also the 2nd (YOU ARE THE THIRD YOU LIAR!!!) greatest military power in the world.
He is very helpful,he helps small and weak countries and makes friends with mostly everyone he meets.He loves to defend his family no matter the cost and he loves to bring popularity to slavkind.
The Joy of Rus
- "Alcoholic" could not even begin to describe Russiaball. Wherever he goes, he carries a bottle of vodka with him. In fact, in Russia, shot glasses don't exist because everyone is expected to down the Vodka in one gulp. St. Vladimir the Great of the Kievan Rusball was the source of the quote, "Drinking is the Joy of the Rus, we cannot exist without that pleasure". The ancestors of Russiaball removed Kebab and converted to orthodoxy exactly because kebab removes vodka.
Indeed, the compound known as Ethanol serves a utilitarian purpose in Russian life; they help survive the cold, they can be used as disinfectant, and we do know that ethanol has a high octane rate which was why scientists are so interested in the manufacture of ethanol from waste biomass in order to fuel the upcoming energy crisis. In other words, since Vodka is basically Ethanol, even their tanks can run on Vodka.
During Victory over Europe, Stalin threw a massive party so vast they ran out of Vodka. The last Imperial and Communist regimes knew this, and personally managed the sale of ethanol. Ethanol is the centre, life and blood of everything that is Russia. But Russia today is a pretty sad and dilapidated place. Alcoholism continues to accelerate to insane levels, and amongst the very poor who could not even afford a bottle of vodka, they instead turned to Krokodil, which is highly addictive and literally ate your flesh alive like some kind of super-Ebola.
Good Old Times
He used to be a world-spanning empire that scared even USAball. What makes it different from the previous collapse of superpowers like SPQRball into Italyball was that Soviet Unionball possessed so much nukes he could EXTERMINATUS the entire Planet many times over.
Everybody, even USAball was scared of the might of the Soviet empire, and almost every Cold War fiction depicted that either the USSR must necessarily exist and into Space forever, or a war will completely wipe all life on the face of the planet. The only way for Sovietball to end, was not with a whimper, but with an epic BANG.
Until an idiot named Mikhail Gorbachev took away the Vodka. Gorbachev was the most unpopular of the Soviet leaders; Stalin led Russiaball from a backwater in the nemesis of USAball.
The Hope of Rus
However, from this background of chaos and Mafias of the 1990s rose a KGB agent named Vladimir Putin who promised to make Russiaball a great power once again, negotiating alliances with an old friend Chinaball. Though he was controversial as well for removing Gays and Kebab from Russian premises, which earned him the ire of that Sissies Club. But, thanks to his efforts, now Russia is returning to his former greatness, which was lost after the death of the USSR.
In the 9th century Ancient Slavs inhabited the lands that are now Russiaball. On these lands Slavs based 2 biggest rus' cities at that time: Novgorodball in the north and Kievball in the south. Novgorod was well-developed, strong, very warlike and unruly city, Novgorodians fought with all nearby tribes. In the late of 9th century citizens of Novgorodball invited Vikings to the city. "Our land is large and abundant, but there is no order in it", said Novgorodians to them and asked them to become rulers of the Novgorodball. The Vikings agreed. New rulers united southern Kievball and northern Novgorodball and forged them into a nation called Kievan Rusball. Slowly Viking rulers adopted native customs and language and were assimilated into Russian society
In 988 Prince Vladimir
Putin converted to Orthodoxyball and his people followed. Kievan Rusball began trading with Byzantiumball. After 1054 when Kievan Rusball's ruler Yarolslav the Wise died he broke up into a federation of princedoms.
Meanwhile, Europe was attacked by -wait for it- the Mongols! At first, they destroyed towns and massacred the inhabitants but later let the Russian principalities rule themselves as long as they paid tribute.
" Lord Novgorodball the Great" (his favourite nickname) however was not invaded, but he wisely decided to voluntarily submit to the Mongol Empireball. While under the Mongols, Lord Novgorodball the Great decided to annex surrounding territory
(in Russiaball annexing territory is a national sport equal to drinking) and his ruler became the prince of Moscow in 1263. But it did not stop there, his next rulers also gradually kept annexing large amounts of territory, slowly becoming larger and stronger.
Ivan III (1462 - 1505) removed Mongol in 1480 ceasing to be a slave. He also annexed territory. The last independent parts of Russiaball were annexed by his son Vasili III thus Russiaball gradually became complete.
In 1547 he became Tsardom of Russiaball. In the 16th century Russiaball had far more contact with western Europe. Many European craftsmen came to work in Russiaball, Englandball began trading by sea with him.
In 1533 Ivan the Terrible inherited the throne of Russiaball, he was crowned Tsar (derived from the Roman Caesar). He also expanded Russiaball territory annexing clay (
drinking and annexing are the joy of Rus) mostly from the remains of Mongol Empireball, HA! TAKE THAT NOOBS! TAKE IT! TAKE IT! YUO DESERVE IT! DON'T MESS WITH RUSKY! GG WP EASY! After that glorious period, Ivan became increasingly paranoid degenerating into a tyrant. He killed his own son. He died in 1584. His other son, Theodore, died in 1598 without leaving an heir and Russiaball entered a period of turmoil.
In 1603 a pole man aka "The False Dmitry" claiming to be Ivan the Terrible's youngest son Dmitry appeared. In reality, Dmitry died in 1591. He then raised an army and conquered Moscow in 1605. But he was replaced by Prince Vasily Shusky in 1606. Russiaball then descended into anarchy "It's of every vodka for himself!" until a man named Michael Romanov was made tsar of Russiaball, starting the era of the Romanov dynasty that would last for 300 years.
In 1645, Michael Romanov was succeeded by his son, Alexis the Most Gentle. During his reign, the Ukrainians, who were ruled by the Poles, sought protection from Russia. This event started The Deluge where Poland-Lithuaniaball lost more than half of its population, you had it coming! In 1667 Russia gained all of the Ukraine east of the Dneiper and Kiev and Smolensk.
In 1682 the famous Peter the Great became Tsar. He was determined to bring Russia up to date and turn it into a European nation. In 1696-97 he travelled to the west. He built a navy and in 1696 he captured Azov from kebab. Peter encouraged foreign trade, the translation of foreign books into Russian, the building of factories (peasants were conscripted to work in them), introduced the Julian calendar, reformed the Russian government and administration, introduced western dress and banned the Russian nobles (boyars) from wearing beards. When the patriarch died in 1700 Peter refused to replace him. Instead, he formed a body called a Holy Synod to head the Russian Orthodox Church.
The church was made subordinate to the Tsar and was meant to serve him. Peter also founded a port in northwest Russia called St Petersburg. The new city was built in the years 1703-1712. Vast numbers of peasants were conscripted to do the work and many thousands of them died because of the harsh conditions. Peter also imposed heavy taxation on his people.
In 1700 Peter the Great went to war with Swedenball in what became known as The Great Northern War. ( Polandball and Denmarkball were his allies). In 1700 the he was defeated at Neva. However in 1709 Swedenball invaded Ukraineball and were crushed at the Battle of Poltava. In 1721 he made peace with Swedenball gaining Estonia and land around the Gulf of Finland. ( Ingriaball)
However Peter was less successful against the kebab. In 1710 he went to war with them but in 1711 his army was defeated and he was forced to make peace. He was forced to return Azov.
In 1721 Russia became the Russian Empireball. After Peter the Great's death in 1725 a few other boring rulers came. But then in 1762 came another Russian jewel: Catherine the Great.
Catherine was German, but she loved Russia with all of her heart. Under her reign, The Russian Empire has reached such heyday as under the rule of Peter the Great. Under Catherine's rule Russian Empireball continued to expand his clay. She fought a successful war with kebab in 1768-1774. As a result, Russian Empireball gained land by the Black Sea and in 1783 took Crimea. kebab lost still more territory after a war in 1787-1791.
In 1772, Russian Empireball, Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austrian Empireball helped themselves to a slice of Polandball each. Russian Empireball and Kingdom of Prussiaball helped themselves to more Polandball each in 1793. Finally in 1795 Russian Empireball, Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austrian Empireball divided up what was left of Polandball between them. By the time Catherine died in 1796 Russia was very powerful.
Russian Empireball later fought with Franceball, UKball, Ottomanball, the Japanese Empireball and the German Empireball. Also, While fighting the in the Osowiec Fortress. The Germans released a gas attack, killing the Russian's 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th armies. Then, the remaining 80th and 13th armies surprised the German's 14 bayonets, causing them to retreat. The Russian Empire resembles the weakness of the Russian people.
- Main article: Soviet Unionball
Soviet Unionball was born in 1903 as Bolshevikball, which became Russian SFSRball, but had to defeat the traitorous white army. He emerged victorious in 1922, and attempted to spread communism into the former territories of his father's empire, creating Ukrainian and Byelorussian SSRballs. But Polandball was able to stop communism's advance into Europe, for a while...
On 1st September 1939, Nazi Germanyball invaded Polandball's clay, followed by Sovietball on the 17th of September, splitting Polandball's clay up. Around this time, Sovietball was setting up gulags in Siberia and kidnapping other countryballs who lived near him: like Estoniaball, Latviaball, Lithuaniaball, and Moldovaball, turning them into communist SSRballs. He even tried to annex Finlandball's, but was stopped by the more prepared Finns.
World War II (1940-45)
In 1941 Nazi Germanyball broke the non-aggression pact and invaded Sovietball's clay with Operation Barbarossa. Naziball besieged Leningrad, and reached the outskirts of Moscow by December 1941, but was forced back because of the Russian winter. The more prepared Sovietball took advantage of the delay by launching a counter-offensive in the spring. Then when Nazi Germanyball tried to take Stalingrad and the Caucasus Mountains, he held out in the city of Stalingrad, then surrounded Nazi Germanyball's forces, trapping them.
Nazi Germanyball was defeated at the battle of Kursk, afterwards being thrown back, with Sovietball liberating Minskball, Kievball, Warsawball, and reaching Berlinball by February 1945, when Nazi Germanyball committed suicide. Not shortly after, Sovietball declared war on Japanese Empireball, who surrendered to USAball in September 1945, ending the war.
Cold War (1945-1991)
After World War II, Sovietball installed communist governments in many of the Eastern European countryballs he had liberated, such as PR Hungaryball, SR Romaniaball, and PR Polandball. The part of Nazi Germanyball's clay he had occupied was given to his adoptive son East Germanyball, in 1949, and an iron curtain descended across Europe, beginning the Cold War.
Sovietball's foe - NATOball was created, so Soviet made the Warsaw Pactball in response. In 1950, Sovietball helped North Koreaball in the Korean War, then put down rebellions by East Germanyball and Hungaryball. Later USAball lost a proxy war to North Vietnamball in 1973.
In 1968 Sovietball started a nuclear power program in Kazakh SSRbrick clay, by spying on USAball. This caused some problems with USAball in 1962 when Sovietball placed nuclear missiles on the newly-communist Cubaball's clay, leading to the Cuban missile crisis. However, in 1986 the Chernobylball disaster made the Sovietball more cautious of this destructive technology.
By 1989, Sovietball's economy could no longer function properly and started to fracture, and he was forced to withdraw from Afganistanball's clay. In 1989 his Warsaw Pactball members started to leave. In 1990 Lithuaniaball was the first to succeed and so did the others soon in 1991 after the military coup. The Soviet Union ultimately collapsed.
After retreating and hiding the Soviet icon. Russiaball first behaved more lightly. But after the war in Chechnyaball, Russiaball pulled himself together and started to build a new life.
In 2014, Russiaball returned his son - Crimeaball - to his clay, despite the fact that the almost rest of the world was against it.
Russia's history in a nutshell: CONQUEST RUSSIA STRONK! wait, I am weak? I am weak!? NOOOO... hey I back to be strong, so RUSSIA STRONK!
- ALBAball - Greatest Countries in America, they are the Anti Imperialists
- Algeriaball - Best North African Friend, He supports me on Assad and Buys a lot of my weapons.
- Abkhaziaball - I will Protect you from Georgiaball. You can get independence!
- Angolaball - Another friend since Soviet Times, I helped him out during his multiple personality disorder
- Armeniaball - A loyal friend in the Caucasus region (perhaps only friend there really)
- Belarusball - The best friend and little sister. Love her♥ so much. Thanks for backing me up saying I didn't do the nerve gas attack.
- Boliviaball - Anti Imperialist in the Western Hemisphere
- Burundiball - Anti-Imperialist African Friend who support me on Crimea and Syria.
- Bulgariaball - Brother and one of my best friends. Even if Bulgariaball is in Nato and EU. But this makes him confused.
- Cambodiaball - Good friend of Chinaball and is also really friendly with me, we are doing a lot of economic projects together and thank you for voting against the Crimea Resolutions.
- Chinaball - Best friend. Both Can Into Remove Capitalist Pigs!!!! Congratulation on having President Xi for Life. 习近平万岁!
- Cubaball - I'm sorry about the loss of Fidel Castro, hope we can be true buddies in the future.
- Denmarkball - My good Viking friend. I helped him in some of his wars.
You are a good comrade unlike your useless irrelevant brothers.
- Eastern Orthodoxy - State religion of the future Holy Russian Empire, and bulwark against the German devil (forget the atheist Soviet era, it never worked. Besides Nazi version of German Devil was removed, because Soviet people belived in бог).
- Egyptball - Recently insane, relationships since
I helpings him to remove kosher when I was of USSRlong time of both helpings each other out, always of visiting Egyptball in vacation, she is makings me room in his new canal, of supporting christianity in there helped him in his canal war. He also supports me on Syriaball and his government is similar his, of likings him and He is also giving me military bases and intends to help me to be a gateway to Libyaball, cause he was independent and anti-imperialist policy earned him enthusiastic support from the Communist government of the USSR.
- Eritreaball - Although he is crazy, he is one of my closest African allies and we get along and I give him economic support, I'll make sure my buddy, Sudanball keeps an eye on you just in case
- Eurasian Unionball -
GREAT RUSSIAN EMPIRE SHALL RETURN!great Russia's son. this is better than that sissies club
- Fijiball - Great Pacific Friend (If not one of the only in the region), he hates USAball, Australiaball, and New Zealandball, but still has ties with UKball. Still, he also buys my weapons.
- Gaddafiball - Rest in Peace my Good Friend.
- Greeceball - Is also of orthodox and hates kebab.
- Guinea-Bissauball - We gib him Weapons, also friend during Soviet Times
- Hezbollahball - We are kicking a$* in Syriaball and removing Fake Syria and Goat F&*kers
- Hungaryball - despite being in NATOball and EUball, he doesn't hate me and we generally get along.
- Indiaball - I gib him lots of weapons so he likes me and I like him. Pays lots of monies. Also both in BRICS and SCO together. But y yuo no remob Kebab ? DEFEND CURRY!
- Indonesiaball - COMRADE! We are good friends since the old days. We are of sharing weapons and military equipment. Thanks for the generous friendship and sorry for my plane's crash in 2012. Both can into Muslims. I promise to keep commies off your land, brother! Spasibo...
- Iranball - I know in the 19th century we were enemies and also times of russia, but now we are of best friends and I like him, he also me. We are Strategic Allies, who knows who this works. Your capital Tehran is very big and cultureful I like it. Xaxaxa and We have problems with this pig and his NATO.
- Iraqball - Helped him against ISIS, and he is also a good friend.
- Israelcube - Despite my support of them thug regimes Iranball, Iraqball, Syriaball, Sudanball and those who hate you, I owe you our friendship since my people lived in your nation from day one. Also we speak the same language.
- Kazakhbrick - My brother. Kazakstan sometimes lets me use his lawn for launching rockets into space and into anybody he wants removed. Is of good Kebab.
- Kyrgyzstanball - Good kebab friend, we can into CSTOball
- Laosball - Good friend and one of the BEST buddies.
- Luhanskball and Donetskball - I'll protect you from Nazi
- Moldovaball - We get along and we both were together during Soviet Union time. Hope to be "close" brothers you know what I mean.
- Mongoliaball - Good Trading Partner and Friend but 1237 NEVER FORGET!!!!!!!
- Myanmarball - Chinaball and I support you on the Rohingyas and He buys a lot of my Weapons.
- Nauruball - Little island friend who recognizes Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball
- Nicaraguaball - anti imperialist friend in Central America
- Palestineball - His president was a KGB member in 1984. And this guy is an anti western. I usually help him against those jew, but not much.
- Philippinesball - June 12 is me and little comrade's special day! Russia day for me and independence for him.
- SCOball - Closest thing so far to a military alliance between me and Chinaball
- Serbiaball - Good Brother! But remove Vucic, he likes NATO. Both Remove Kebab! and I Support him on Kosovo.Remember,whoever touches Serbia touches Russia!
- Slovakiaball - like Hungaryball, he can into NATOball and EUball but we still generally get along
- South Africaball - Can into BRICSbricks and also great trading partner and friend
- South Ossetiaball - I will Protect you from Georgiaball. You can get independence!
- Somalilandball - Unofficial friend, I may gib recognition because I may get military base
- Sudanball - One of my best friends in Africa, he recently visited me and is offering me a military base, thanks for supporting me on Crimeaball
- Syriaball - Will of helping him get through his NATO-engineered civil war on top. I will defend you from
PindosiyaAmerica and NATOball. Also will remove that evil ISIS rat, and evil fake parasite
- Tajikistanball - Indo-Aryan Military Ally.
- Transnistriaball - I will protect you from Moldovaball.
- Tobrukball - The Libya faction that I support, he may even give Military base
- Turkmenistanball - While he is not a military ally since he is neutral, the two of us generally get along and he is an oil supplier
- Ugandaball - Good African Friend and We hunt Homosexuals Together
- Uzbekistanball - Turkic Friend and Good Kebab.He was wary of recognizing but now he does and we restarted Military Cooperation
- Venezuelaball - Great South American Friend who recognizes Crimea, Abkhazia and South Ossetia. Hating the Pig, he reminds me of me back in the day, and all the fun times I had with Ukraine.
- Vietnamball - Good friend but stop calling me Soviet, am Russia. Soviet is of my past self.
Soon Soviet will return, Comrade!c
- Western Saharaball - Unofficial Friend thanks for recognizing South Ossetiaball
- Zimbabweball - Anti Imperialist African friend, also friend since soviet Times, probably my closest African Friend along with Sudanball
- Azerbaijanball - Me and him have a mixed relations... Because of Armeniaball but my people visit his capital and we do trade and we give 12 points to each other in Eurovision so I have my eye on him
- Brazilball - Well, they are a part of BRICS, add vodka in their cocktails, and hate the German devil, so why not? but Unfortunately he wants to remove my friend, Venezuelaball
- Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - Relations are mixed because he contains Srpska Republicball who love me but the other part of him is not that fond of me
- Croatiaball - Slavic Bro but don't you dare hurt my friend Serbiaball
- Czechiaball - Yuor beer is execting, do yuo want vodka? But sadly, he can into NATOball.
- Franceball - You're part of EU, a Homosex lover, and a Catholic, but are prayers are with you of heplings you remove terrorist.
- Libyaball - Burger absolutely r#ped you, but now that I saved my buddy Syriaball, I'm going to try to stabilize you now
- Macedoniaball - Doesn't want him to be with Bulgariaball, Greece and EU, nor Serbiaball, nor Albania.
- Malaysiaball - I helped him into space but I've commited a crim to him by shootings down his plane. I'm sorry for shootings down your plane and btw, lets recognize Crimea as part of me.
- Montenegroball - We were really friendly but he dumped me for NATOball and sanctioned me
- Moroccoball - Good relations but he supports the enemies of my allies and I and friendlier with Algeriaball
- North Koreaball - Please shut up about your nukes or I will into removing you with my mightiness. I want to hold the World Cup next year, if you declare war or throw one of those bombs at someone, the World Cup will be canceled and everyone will have to go to war, a Third World War. So ... do not do anything stupid now !!!! But we generally get along and He supports me on Crimea.
The only reason you still exist is that I do not want the yanks near my eastern border, you're just a puppet to keep them away from me.
- South Koreaball - He's better than his brother.
I STILL REMEMBER OLYMPICS!But now we are friends.
- Pakistanball - Relations are starting to improve but don't you dare remove Curry and stop funding terrorists, but we can into SCOball
- Polandball - We both share a common relationship and we get along politically and we both are critics of this Hochland. But can you do me a favour and remove your rocket defense from Warsaw. Its "threatening me" and we will respond "harshly with full measures" if you want.
Remove that rocket defense from yuor clay or nukes will of strike Warsawball!. Also I didn't appreciate you removing 4 of my diplomats from your clay. "I'm sorry" but I had to remove four of your diplomats for "good measures"
- Thailandball - Love Pattaya. Relationship is not great though (But it is improving)
- Turkeyball - Complicated relations, he wants to become friendly with me but he killed my diplomat and shot down my plane. But then on 15 July, our agents learned that there will be an attack to Erdoğan. Strange fellow.
- Albaniaball - Fool, who picks on my good friendski Serbiaball
and let me don't worry I will anschless you USAball butt lickerKOSOVO IS SERBIA YOU SUKA BLYAT
- Al-Qaedaball - Never Forget the War in Afghanistan, you filthy terrorist
- Australiaball - American Puppet pig in Pacific, he kicked out my diplomats and supports Ukraineball and stay away from Chinaball. Though my leader likes his koalas
- Belarusian Democratic Republicball - EUball puppet, you are of fake Belarusball
- Canadaball - How dare you expell 4 of my diplomats from your country! How dare you criticize me in public about us hurting your dad! We have retaliated by firing four of your friends from Moscow. HOW DARE YOU BEAT ME IN THE IIHF 2018 CHAMPIONSHIP 5-4! THIS IS A COMPLETE HUMILATION FOR US! SCREW YOU CANADIAN HOCKEY PLAYERS! СУКА! СУКА CONNOR MCDAVID! At least you suck at soccer
- Chechnyaball - He is of terrible when separatist, this fanatic was of hard to remove.
- Finlandball - Used to be my clay after I anschluss him from Sweden. He is also my second worst fear. At least he can into vodka. Renegade province. BUT I AM NOT GIVING KARAELIA BACK! (Because you stole my vodka, Suka Blyat!)
- FSAball - Fake Syria and a bunch of terrorists
- Furries & Rule 34 - STOP FETISHIZING ZABIVAKA YOU BLYAT'!!! HE'S CREATED NOT TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT!!!
- Gay and Lesbian Kingdomball - Abomination! Remove!!!!
- Georgiaball - I defeated you easily. So gib Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball their independence!
And let me anschluss them!
- Germanyball, The Sissies Club and NATOball -
Антихристы. Зло, родители которых - [цензура] Вавилона и Сатана. Злейшие враги славянской расы. УБРАТЬ ТЕВТОНСКИХ РЫЦАРЕЙ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ПРУССИЮ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ АНШЛЮС, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ НАЦИЗМ! УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ, ИХ КЕБАБСКИХ СОЮЗНИКОВ И МАЛЕНЬКИХ ЧЕРТЕЙ МАРОККО, АМЕРИКИ И ИЗРАИЛЯ! РУССКАЯ СЛАВЯНСКАЯ ЗИМА И ПРАВОСЛАВИЕ СТРОНГ, СТАЛИНГРАДСКАЯ БИТВА — ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ! АЛЕКСАНДР НЕВСКИЙ ДОЛЖЕН ВЕРНУТЬСЯ, ЧТОБЫ ОТПРАВИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ И КЕБАБОВ ОБРАТНО В АД!! ХВАТИТ ОБИЖАТЬ ВЕЛИКОБРИТАНИЮ! МАТУШКА РОССИЯ СТРОНГ!!!Best drinking buddies ever. Now we have a good relationship. Really, because Putin said so, therefore it's right. If Putin said it, therefore it must be true, I trust him - he's good guy and best president. NO OIL FOR YOU!!!!
- Hochlandball - we are family, but...
ХАХАХАХАХАХА!!! КРЫМ НАШ!!! Я ЗАБРАЛ У ТЕБЯ КРЫМ И ТЕПЕРЬ ВСЮ ОСТАЛЬНУЮ ГЛИНУ ВОЗЬМУ!!! Но Львов брать не буду. ПОТОМУ ЧТО ЛЬВОВ - ПОЛЬСКАЯ ГЛИНА!!! АХАХАХАХ ХОХЛЯНДИЯ!!!GIVE INDEPENDENCE TO NOVOROSSIYA!!!! AND LET ME ANCHLUSS THEM! KHARKOV, DNIPROPETROVSK, KIEV, ODESSA, ALL UKRAINE CLAY IS RIGHTEOUS ROSSIYA CLAY!!!!!Runaway EU Peasant. Traitorous apostates who hate us because Natalia Poklonskaya used her Slavic sexiness to Anschlussfree Crimea. AND GET OFF THE FENCE! (And so, all is fine), but we orthodox and slavic bros BUT STILL!!!!!. HE.....He of given up His EU offer to improve relations with me, deep inside we still love each other.
- ISISball - СЛУШАЙТЕ, ВЫ ПРИШЛИ НЕ ТУДА, СУКА. Since NATO pigskis aren't doing anything to stop this suka rat it's up to Mother Russia to save the day. Leave Syria and Iraq alone!
- Japanball - worthly opponnent he want's his land back but he will never get kuril or sakhalin! I hate him for ww2.
- Kosovoball - Never heard of it but you are Serbia.
- Nazi Germanyball - Ha! Thank vodka your'e dead! It was fun adopting your son East Germanyball after WWII!
- New Zealandball - just like Australiaball, American puppet pig kicking out my diplomats
- Romaniaball - Moldova is of my rightful clay, same with the rest of Bessarabia!
- Saudi Arabiaball - Whabbist Freak thinks I'm his friend, he is a fool, Syriaball and Iranball are my true friends. I like how I removed you on world cup this year.
- Somali Piratesball - you are so dead if you mess with me
- Stupid Vodka Removers -
American puppet pigs!Always can into independence!
- Swedenball and Norwayball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Protestantism is HERESY made by crazy, vicious Kingdörk Vikings! (still hate their brother)
- Tahrir al-Shamball - Another piece of Garbage trying to kill Syriaball and Failing
- Taiwanball - Yuo no of exist, Chinaball is real china!
- Talibanball - Another Filthy Terrorist. burger says I support you but I don't!!!!!! I will remove you filthy terrorists!!
- UKball - СУКА!! STOP ACCUSINGS ME OF USING NERVE AGENT!!!!! глупый чай!!! NOW 23 OF MY DIPLOMATS BEING EXPELLED FROM YOU, YOUR SONS CANADA AND USA, AND THE SISSIES CLUB?! YOU WILL PAY! YOUR PUNISHEMENT IS THE FIRING OF 50 more of YOUR OWN DIPLOMATS FROM MOSCOW! HAH how do you like that now? My foreign affairs SERGEI LAVROV said you are "playing with fire and will be sorry" over Salisbury spy poisoning. YOU SHOULD BE!
- USAball - So..., you elected Trump huh? THATS GREAT!!! We can beings friends now... BUT WHY THE HELL DID YOU REMOVE 60 OF MY DIPLOMATS FROM NEW YORK AND EVEN CLOSED THE CONSULATE IN SEATTLE? I had no choice but to remove your 60 Americans and shut down the consulate in St.Petersburg. I didn't want to do it but not my fault you stick up for tea-drinking liar! Also, why'd you bomb Syria when I told you not to? You never listen yuo blyat. Im glad you got your ass kicked by Sweden in the IIHF!
- Vaticanball and Italyball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Catholicism is HERESY made by Romans!
- Kievan Rusball - Great Great Grandfather (Deceased)
- Tsardom of Russiaball - Great Grandfather (Deceased)
- Russian Empireball - Grandfather (Deceased)
- USSRball- Father
(I am actually him as I am disguised in my current form)
- Yugoslaviaball - Uncle (Deceased)
- Belarusball - Best Brother/Sister (and cutest) (not homosex)
- Ukraineball - Brother (clay)
- Crimeaball - Brother/Adoptive Son
- Dagestanball - Half Brother
- Kareliaball - Half Sister
- Bosniaball - Cousin
- Bulgariaball - Cousin
- Croatiaball - Cousin
- Czechiaball - Cousin
- Macedoniaball - Cousin
- Montenegroball - Cousin
- Polandball - Cousin
- Serbiaball - Cousin
- Slovakiaball - Cousin
- Sloveniaball - Cousin
- Armeniaball - Adoptive Brother
- Azerbaijanball - Adoptive Brother
- Georgiaball - Adoptive Brother
- Kazakhbrick - Adoptive Brother
- Kyrgyzstanball - Adoptive Brother
- Tajikistanball - Adoptive Brother
- Turkmenistanball - Adoptive Brother
- Uzbekistanball - Adoptive Brother
- Alaskaball - Biological Son
- Chechnyaball - Son
- Ingushetiaball - Son
- Tatarstanball - Son
- Transnistriaball - Son
- Abkhaziaball - Adopted Son
- Artsakhball - Adopted Son
- South Ossetiaball - Adopted Son
- Alaskaball - Former Adopted Son (Now living with Burger. Blyat, can't have you back.)
- Adygeaball - Huh? Some caucasian republic, right? I should merge you with Krasnodar.
- Altaiball - these are the mountains I am talking about! Not some crappy Alps.
The mountains are also better then NepalRawr's
- Bashkortostanball - Go play with your brat Tatarstanball. I know yuo love him.
STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR ANNEXATION! YOUR MINE END OF DISCUSSION
- Buryatiaball - Ah, my lovely natural Baikal
- Chechnyaball - Did you just say you want independence huh? (Chechnyaball tries to stab Russiaball) Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t STOP! (Russiaball blocks Chechnyaball in a cage) You are staying with me. I will help you restore Grozny but that's it! Mychechnya!
- Chechnyaball: Remove kebab removers! Chechnya stronk!
- Chuvashiaball - My own beer brewery, xaxaxa, let's get waisted, druzya!
- Crimeaball - It was a democratic referendum and Crimea is Russian, that's it! End of discussion!
XAXAXA UKRAINE? MYKRAINE! STUPID WESTERN PIGDOGS CANNOT ACKNOWLEDGE FACTS, IT WAS NOT OF ANNEXATION! TOTALLY NO POLITICS AND SHOWCASE OF POWER! ONLY OPRESSED RUSSIAN MINORITY! SHUT UP! I OF NOT DESERVINGS SANCTIONS! I SANCTION YUO BACK! MUAHAHAHA! зшзш
- Ukraineball: Shut up! Is my rightful clay! No one even recognizes the referendum!
- Russia: You shut up or you get Anschlussed by me!
- Dagestanball - I hope that we will not repeat the Chechnya story with you, right?
Aren't you Kareliaball again?
- Ingushetiaball - Another Caucasian republic. A small place, likes Chechnya though
- Kabardino-Balkariaball - Ah, the mountains...
- Kalmykiaball - Calm, buddhist place, love to visit for meditation from my bustling city of Moscow.
- Karachay-Cherkessiaball - A caucasian that has Molybdenum, whatever that is.
- Kareliaball - My Finnistan; gorgeous nature.
XAXAXAXA FINLAND CANNOT INTO KARELIA. KARELIA IS RIGHTFUL RUSSIAN CLAY, YOU HEAR THAT, FINNISTAN? XAXAXA. Ok sorry about that, Dagestanball
- Khakassiaball - Siberian republic. Good in ore mining and loves its megaliths.
- Komiball - Why did you choose such a difficult name for your capital?! Syk-syktyv-syktyvak-syktyvark... Ah screw it! And why do you think that ö is the superior letter? German dots are the most inferior!
- Mari Elball - Produces all kinds of machines and can work nicely with metals. Every time I say "Yoshkar-Ola" Mario fans get excited, I wonder why...
- Mordoviaball - Yeah, I need those chemicals to do warings, make more.
- North Ossetia–Alaniaball - Soon... soon I will unite you with South Ossetia! Georgia, you have nothing against this, right? XAXAXAXA
- Tatarstanball - My industrial republic! Still a bit grumpy about the Golden Horde.
- Tuvaball - I know that you like Mongolia, but you are staying here.
- Udmurtiaball - Oooh! Redheads!
- Yakutiaball - The largest subnational gov. body ever, even my children are largest in the world, xaxaxa! And my coldest region so far. Canada and Norway are nowhere close to me in the freezing departament, xa! Even cows wear bra there to keep warm. You make papa proud!
- Altaiball - Wait, didn't I mention you already? Ah, that was the republic. Barnauuuul!
- Kamchatkaball - The best caviar in the world!
- Khabarovskball - Far East - best East!
- Krasnodarball - My summer tourism place & Sochi olympics!
- Krasnoyarskball - Not to be confused with Krasnodar, this is Siberia. Does a lot of refining and hydropower.
- Permball - Gib more oil please.
- Primorskyball - End stop of the Trans-Siberian railway and home to the port of Vladivostok. We get our anime shipped through there. Sometimes a Sinophile, I'd say.
- Stavropolball - Agriculture is beautiful, isn't it? Sanctions against western pigdog food will only help us! Help the environment - eat locally! (Oh shit, this is going so wrong, sorry Stavropol)
- Zabaykalskyball - Gib Uranium, I want more warheads!
- Amurball - Soon I will be launching spaceships from there! Also, keep a close eye on Kitai, oblast.
- Arkhangelskball - Was my most important port until I kicked the Ottoman ass and got access to the Black Sea. He an angel. (Idk why)
- Astrakhanball - Glorious Volga delta and the best soil in the world!
- Belgorodball - Iron and chernozem!
- Bryanskball -
- Chelyabinskball - He loves meteors!
- Irkutskball - Baikal oblast. Sometimes Irkutsk is called the "Paris of Siberia", weird.
- Ivanovoball - He sews me vests.
- Kaliningradball - My cute exclave,
stolerightfully took him from Nazi as a compensation for the atrocities. Home to the baltic fleet. Xaxa Polsha and Lithuania cannot into
- Kalugaball - A European oblast that wasn't destroyed by Nazis, at least I have some nice Grandfather's architecture left. And thanks for discoveries in the field of Cosmonautics
- Kemerovoball - Just some Siberian guy who can't into extreme coldness. Recently they had a mall fire.
- Kirovball - Some call him Vyatka. His old name anyways; I could care less.
- Kostromaball -
- Kurganball - All I know is the Kurgan Hypothesis from Samara. Not quite related to him though.
- Kurskball - Wow! My compass is going crazy! What kind of magnetic shit is going on, Kursk?
- Leningradball (Oblast) - The begining of my breathtaking cultutal city!
- Lipetskball -
- Magadanball -
Я уеду в Магадан!
- Moscow Oblastball - This is what I call "Podmoskovie". Protect my marvelous city, don't let invaders inside!
- Murmanskball - Hey, stop chatting with Norway there! Back to work! And no Sami language!
- Nizhny Novgorodball - The Volga namestealer to the guy below.
- Novgorodball - Undefeatable great grandfather of Russia.
- Novosibirskball - Home to the largest Siberian city.
- Omskball - Place of evil!
- Orenburgball - Unknown, again
- Oryolball -
Хороший парень, но не орёл.
- Penzaball - xaxaxa, Jesusface.
- Pskovball - "I'm from Pskov, a stranger, comes to see the speaking dog".
- Rostovball - Bozhe moi! So many Hochlanders!
- Ryazanball - Bread 'n' wheat
- Sakhalinball - An island oblast. Watch carefully the Kuril islands, otherwise Japan will steal them!
- Samaraball - Are you that U.S territory?
- Saratovball - Shhh, no one is supposed to know that I have bombs everywhere around you. What do you mean that everyone knows it?!
- Smolenskball - This guy likes my sister's culture more than my own. Fuck you, kid.
- Sverdlovskball - Murderer of the Royal Romanov Family. Ekaterinburg best burg though.
- Tambovball -
- Tomskball - eww, swampy. Forestoblast.
- Tulaball - Weapon factory. As detailed as jewelry.
- Tverball - Oh that neverending medieval Tver and Moscow rivalry (Xa, Moscow ultimately won)
- Tyumenball - Oil and gas controller, Khanty's and Yamal's mother.
- Ulyanovskball - Old man Lenin.
- Vladimirball - Putin? Or Lenin?
- Volgogradball - Fought the vicious Nazi and this resulted in our Victory!
- Vologdaball - the best butter on the world!!!
- Voronezhball -
- Yaroslavlball - Are you Yugoslaviaball?
- Moscowball - The most spectacular capital in the whole world! This is what a real capital city looks like.
- Saint Petersburgball - My glorious gem! Often called the Northern Capital and the cultural centre of Russia!
- Sevastopolball - Shh, Hochland, this is my port now, XAXAXA.
- Chukotkaball - Far eastern okrug, I don't contact with him a lot. Better leave him alone to his Chukchi business. Only okrug who goes on his own.
- Nenetsball - Tell other subjects the secret of having a high GDP per capita.
- Khanty–Mansiball - Oil okrug! But Khanty, you know that you should give away all oilmoney to papa and sister Moscow, no complains!
- Yamalo-Nenetsball - Gas okrug! Gazprom's playground.
- Jewish Autonomous Oblastcube - Oy vey, you say? Some random jew on my clay. Wait a minute... HOMOSEX DETECTED!
- Russia precedes to eliminate the