"Oi mate I think we landed on the wrong beach" - New Zealand moments before getting shot at Gallipoli
New Zealandball is a countryball southeast of Australiaball. He is the son and former colony of UKball and the brother of Australiaball, Canadaball, and USAball. He has a pet kiwi and is known for the Lord of the Rings film and being the Adventure Capital of the World, he has 3 children, Niue, Tokelau, and the Cook Islands. Even though New Zealand is known for being a peaceful, caring nation, he
used to be can be a fierce warrior and a sheep shagger. So if you mess with him, he will drop you. He is one of UKball's favorite former-colonies. However UK despises his sheep, the fact he respects minorities, and gives his natives (Maoriball) rights. He often gets mixed up with Australiaball. He planned to change his flag but people preferred the original flag. He likes giving his places long names, including the longest place name in the world: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenua kitanatahuball, with 97 letters, beating Walesball's 58 letter name Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochball to become the longest place name in the world.
Despite the fact that New Zealandball is now an adult and fully independent countryball, he still has the Union Jack in his body.
This is a neotenic trait. Neoteny in animals is the retention, in adulthood, of characteristics typical of its young or larval form (in the case of countryballs its colonial forms).
Pre Colonization Edit
Some time in the 12th century, the Maori, the first inhabitants of New ZealandBall, lived on a series of small islands called PolynesiaBall after sailing from Africa. Unfortunately, they began to run low on food supplies and set sail in search of new land, and after months of sailing they landed on what was the coast of New Zealand. They decided to settle down on this land for what they looked like a big cloud. They thought it was a good omen, so they eventually settled down there, and took care of its natural beauty and resources. They collected fruit, fishing, and hunting large birds. Later on, they started to grow vegetables. by 1500, the Maoris became very warlike. They prayed to their dead ancestors, since they thought some of them are sacred. These sacred people are called "tapu", or taboo.
European arrival Edit
In 1642 Netherlandsball was sailing across the Pacific Ocean, when he sighted land, but before he came ashore he was attacked by Maoriball and quickly left. In 1769 Englandball landed on shore and made peaceful contact with Maoriball, and after the French arrived. New Zealand's had rich resources, so he sold wood for ships and garden produce in trade for muskets which unfortunately broke out in many musket wars between Maori tribes.
In the 18th century, UKball was getting quite worried about the land he had taken from the Maori and the fear Franceball might annex New Zealand, so in 1840 he got Maoriball to sign the Treaty of Waitangi which gave him full control of New Zealand and also made it compulsory for New Zealand to fight alongside UKball. New Zealandball was born. He then proved to UKball his loyalty to him by helping him fight South Africa in the boer war, and UKball was very impressed with how well he was fighting. NZ did feel good for helping his dad but was heartbroken over the fact that the UK made him burn the South African villages and farms, and was very sympathetic towards them. He also was the first to reach the summit of Mt Everest with Nepal, one of his proudest achievements.
World War I Edit
As soon as Britain declared war on German Empireball, New Zealandball found himself fighting in Europe. In 1915 New Zealandball teamed with his brother Australiaball to form the ANZACS, and went to war against Ottoman Empireball. Unfortunately on the day of the attack he landed on the wrong beach and was shot.
Nuclear-Free New Zealand Edit
So, in the Second World War when USA was getting ready to fight the Japanese Empire, NZ let him stay on his clay in return for protection from Japan. USA and NZ became good friends because of this. Then in the late 1950's USA started testing nukes in the Pacific near NZ, which led to other countries such as Britain and France to start testing nukes around that area. New Zealand went ballistic-freaking-ape-hell over the fact that they were destroying the small islands living in the Pacific Ocean, and successfully stopped testing of nuclear weapons in the Pacific. France was pissed about this and decided to blow up the ship that was responsible for this. The Rainbow Warrior. France blew up the ship and New Zealand was deeply saddened to see his beautiful ship bombed. He then took France to court and forced him to pay 10 million dollars, banned all nuclear ships from entering NZ docks, much to USA's dismay as he tried to dock his nuclear subs and was forced away every single time. New Zealand is also one of the safest countries in the world.
New Zealand is a multi-cultural country, so unless you piss me off, you're a friend. But here are some of my best mates.
- Anglos - The Anglo countryballs are muh mates.
- UKball - My father. I share some cultural history with the old fart, but I now have a unique cultural identity and accent. Also the bloody Pom who can't play rugby to save his life. However he loves me for keeping my Union Jack, and my loyalty to him.
- Australiaball - My more famous sister that everyone mistakes me as. We have a sibling rivalry. We also fought together as the Anzac's in World War I.
Stop stealing my dishes and celebrities you unoriginal c***!Bowls like a bloody idiot, I WILL NEVER FORGET 1981. Still love you dearly, though <3. Ya wanker.
- Canadaball - We both say 'eh', but Canadaball is more stereotyped for it. We are both overshadowed by our siblings, and we both share being equally nice! Except for when i'm drunk. Then we as good as gold!
- USAball - The shining star of the siblings. I had a good trade with USA, but after I refused to let him park his nuclear ships in my waters, he hasn't been talking to me that much. So you have some refugees, eh? Well, I will welcome them. Do they know I am home to Lord of the Rings. If you don't like how it is in America, move in to
- Maoriball - I maintain a peaceful relationship with my native inhabitants. This is probably why he is irrelevant, aside from his geographic location. 7% of New Zealandball speaks Maori, while 90% speak English. If only he'd shut up about that land Britain stole...
- Nepalrawr - Me & Nepal were the first to reach the top of Mt. Everest
- Commonwealthball - Who is that bloke again?
- Micronesiaball - I own most of your islands
- South Koreaball - Good friends with them. Apparently he is a sworn enemy with North Koreaball, so South Koreaball is our friend.
- Netherlandsball - was the first European explorer of my clay, and also gave me my name! Until the Maori's killed him for some reason.
- Chileball - Gave wheat during gold rush.
- Indiaball - Makes good curry, top shit
- South Africaball - Me and him had a fight about his apartheid, but we're on good terms. Probably the only one who is a challenge to beat in rugby.
- Englandball - Won't admit I'm better at rugby & cricket? hmm.
- Walesball - Probably the only person who understands sheep like I do.
- Germanyball - Once I found and built a bike in my garage and won the Daytona! The Krauts face when a bike I built from parts I found in a tip beat his "superior German engineering"!
- Chinaball - By crikey, your tourists are annoying, and your shops aren't much better either.
Just kidding please keep buying my exports I need the money, basically you're a part of me for your fish and chip shops, and Chinese restaurant's
- Japanball - Buy my dairy products pls
- Argentinaball - Likes to come over and pick my fruit and bring it back to his land but i don't mind.
- North Koreaball - Apparently they read The Crysalids novel, realised New Zealand (erroneously Sealand) still exists after a nuclear holocaust, and threaten New Zealand with a nuclear strike.
- Franceball - The French detonated several nuclear bombs near New Zealand, and sanctioned the bombing of the Rainbow Warrior, a peaceful Greenpeace ship. They're on good terms today, but I'm still a bit grumbly.
- Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - HOW DARE YOU TELL TOKELAUBALL TO GO CHANGE HIS FLAG
- Japanese Empireball - Bugger ya cunt! If you even dare bomb my beautiful clay I will bloody come over there and shove the biggest piece of- wait he's dead now?
- Ottoman Empireball - Look mate, I pretty much only fought against you because I was dumped into that war. And also because my dad thinks he can beat everything by throwing countries at it.
- One stereotype of New Zealand is that it doesn't exist. New Zealand is a country that is routinely distorted on maps, often being situated on one certain corner, or occasionally not situated anywhere at all.
- One stereotype is that New Zealand is 'where men are men, and so are the women'. For being masculine.
- Another is that New Zealand speaks a strange language.
- New Zealand is stereotyped for being the best in the world at rugby. And why wouldn't we be? We won the world cup three times!
- Lord of the Rings. Enough said.
- New Zealand is also known for being the reason that the small islands are not being annexed, in fact New Zealand pretty much decide whether they live or die, as he is one of the countries that actually give a crap about them.
- BUSH RECEPTION. Even internet.
|Regions||Northlandball • Aucklandball • Waikatoball • Bay of Plentyball • Gisborneball • Hawke's Bayball • Taranakiball • Manawatu-Wanganuiball • Wellingtonball ( Wellingtonball) • Tasmanball • Nelsonball • Marlboroughball • West Coastball • Canterburyball • Otagoball • Southlandball|
|Dependencies||Cook Islandsball • Niueball • Tokelauball|
|Former entities||Maoriball • United Tribes of New Zealandball • British New Zealandball|