- "Oi mate I think we landed on the wrong beach" - New Zealand moments before getting shot at Gallipoli
- "Nah, You can't steal my...." - Moments before Australia stole his Pavlova
New Zealandball is a countryball southeast of Australiaball. He is the son and former colony of UKball and the brother of Australiaball, Canadaball, and USAball. He has a pet kiwi and is known for the Lord of the Rings films and being the Adventure Capital of the World, he has 3 children, Niue, Tokelau, and the Cook Islands. Even though New Zealand is known for being a peaceful, caring nation, he
used to be can be a fierce warrior and a sheep shagger. He often gets mixed up with Australiaball. Other countryballs, especially stupid America, often confuse him with Aussie. That's why be planned to change his flag but people preferred the original flag.
Recently, He Chose Labour Leader Jacinda Ardern As His New Prime Minister 1 Month After The Elections, At 37 Years, She Will Become The Countries Youngest Leader Ever In 150 Years. She Will Replace Now Former Prime Minster Bill English.
New Zealand can usually be found hanging out with Australia.
Some time in the 12th century, the Maori, the first inhabitants of New ZealandBall, lived on a series of small islands called PolynesiaBall after sailing from Asia. Unfortunately, they began to run low on food supplies and set sail in search of new land and space to expand, and after months of sailing they landed on what was the coast of New Zealand. They decided to settle down on this land for what they looked like a big cloud. They thought it was a good omen, so they eventually settled down there, and took care of its natural beauty and resources. They collected fruit, fishing, and hunting large birds. Later on, they started to grow vegetables. But eventually as exploration of this new land instead of sea became too enticing for the once sea-faring people; Maori engaged into constant tribal warfare and became very warlike, like their old ways. Fighting over land and regions. Taking prisoners as slaves from enemy tribes, or "Iwi". They prayed to their dead ancestors, since they thought some of them are sacred. These sacred people are called "tapu", or taboo. Consuming the flesh of their enemies was considered as gaining their "Mana".
In 1642 Netherlandsball was sailing across the Pacific Ocean, when he sighted land, but before he came ashore he was attacked by Maoriball and quickly left after finding four of his crewmen strewn in pieces on the coastline, being eaten. In 1769 Englandball landed on shore and made peaceful contact with Maoriball, and after the French arrived. New Zealand's had rich resources, so he sold wood for ships and garden produce in trade for muskets which unfortunately broke out in many musket wars between Maori tribes.
In the 18th century, UKball was getting quite worried about the land he had taken from the Maori and the fear Franceball might annex New Zealand, so in 1840 he got Maoriball to sign the Treaty of Waitangi which gave him full control of New Zealand and also made it compulsory for New Zealand to fight alongside UKball. New Zealandball was born. He then proved to UKball his loyalty to him by helping him fight South Africa in the boer war, and UKball was very impressed with how well he was fighting. NZ did feel good for helping his dad but was heartbroken over the fact that the UK made him burn the South African villages and farms, and was very sympathetic towards them. He also was the first to reach the summit of Mt Everest with Nepal, one of his proudest achievements.
World War I
As soon as Britain declared war on German Empireball, New Zealandball found himself fighting in Europe. In 1915 New Zealandball teamed with his brother Australiaball to form the ANZACS, and went to war against Ottoman Empireball. Unfortunately on the day of the attack he landed on the wrong beach and was shot.
Nuclear-Free New Zealand
So, in the Second World War when USA was getting ready to fight the Japanese Empire, NZ let him stay on his clay in return for protection from Japan. USA and NZ became good friends because of this. Then in the late 1950's USA started testing nukes in the Pacific near NZ, which led to other countries such as Britain and France to start testing nukes around that area. New Zealand went ballistic-freaking-ape-hell over the fact that they were destroying the small islands living in the Pacific Ocean, and successfully stopped testing of nuclear weapons in the Pacific. France was pissed about this and decided to blow up the ship that was responsible for this. The Rainbow Warrior. France blew up the ship and New Zealand was deeply saddened to see his beautiful ship bombed. He then took France to court and forced him to pay 10 million dollars, banned all nuclear ships from entering NZ docks, much to USA's dismay as he tried to dock his nuclear subs and was forced away every single time. New Zealand is also one of the safest countries in the world.
New Zealand is a multi-cultural country, so unless you piss me off, you're a friend. But here are some of my best mates.
- Anglos - The Anglo countryballs are muh mates.
- UKball - Best father EVER!!I share some cultural history with him, but I now have a unique cultural identity and accent. Also, the bloody Pom who can't play rugby to save his life. However he loves me for keeping my Union Jack, and my loyalty to him.
- Australiaball - My more famous brother that everyone mistakes me as. We have a sibling rivalry, and also fought together as the Anzac's in World War 1.
Stop stealing my dishes and celebrities you unoriginal c***!Bowls like a bloody idiot, I WILL NEVER FORGET 1981. Still love you dearly, though <3. Ya wanker.
- Canadaball - We both say 'eh', but Canadaball is more stereotyped for it. We are both overshadowed by our siblings, and we both share being equally nice! Except for when I'm drunk. Then we as good as gold!
- USAball - The shining star of the siblings. I had a good trade with USA,
After I Let his Solders crash into my Country During The Second World Warbut after I refused to let him park his nuclear ships in my waters, he hasn't been talking to me that much. So you have some refugees, eh? Well, I will welcome them. Do they know I am home to Lord of the Rings ? If you don't like how it is in America, move in to Middle Earthme!
- Maoriball - I maintain a peaceful relationship with my native inhabitants. This is probably why he is irrelevant, aside from his geographic location. 7% of New Zealandball speaks Maori, while 90% speak English. If only he'd shut up about that land Britain stole...
- Nepalrawr - Me & Nepal were the first to reach the top of Mt. Everest
- Commonwealthball - Who is that bloke again?
- NATOball - If I were located in the North Atlantic And Not The South Pacific, Then Yes, I Would Join You. (I'm Currently His Mayor Non NATO Ally Though)
- Micronesiaball - I own most of your islands
- South Koreaball - Good friends with them. Apparently She is a sworn enemy with North Koreaball, so South Koreaball is our Mate. We Also Helped Her Fought The North During The Korean War. Future sister in law too.
- Netherlandsball - was the first European explorer of my clay, and also gave me my name! Until the Maori killed him for some reason. IDK why. Hungry?
- Portugalball - My Fathers Best Friend. Would Like To Know him A bit More
- Chileball - Gave me wheat during the gold rush. We Both Can Into EARTHQUAKES!
- Indiaball - Adoptive Brother. A Good Cricket Player And He Makes A Mean As Curry, top sh*t.
- South Africaball - Me and him had a fight about his apartheid, but we're on good terms. Probably the only one who is a challenge to beat in rugby.
- Brazilball - A Mean As Player At Football. Lots Of HUE Aye?
- Englandball - Won't admit I'm better at rugby & cricket? hmm.
- Walesball - Probably the only person who understands sheep like I do.
He Is Also My Husband
- Scotlandball - That one Uncle I Have With The Bagpipes that highly Influenced Dunedin. Couldn't Into Independence Sadly.
- Germanyball - My Uncle. We Both Drink Our beer Brands Together, But... Remember WW2! Also Give Mercedes And Aldi Plz.
- Chinaball - Biggest Trading Partner. Many Chinese Tourists Visit Me.
By crikey, your tourists are annoying, and your shops aren't much better either. Oh And learn How To Drive Too!And Please Keep Buying My exports I need The Money. Basically you're A Part Of Me For Your Fish N Chip shops, And Chinese Restaurants.
- Japanball - We Give Them Our Dairy Products And They Give Us Their Cars. He Also Gives Video Games And Anime, But With Too Much Tentacle Porn! We Both Helped Each Other During Earthquakes in Early 2011!
- Argentinaball - Likes to come over and pick my fruit and bring it back to his land but I don't mind.
- Tringapore - Economic trading partners
- Spainball - Aunt. Thanks For Building My Trains For Me. We Both can Into OCED (Organisation For Economic Co-operation And Development)
- Greeceball - Me And Australia Allied And Helped Him With Crete In WW2.
- Switzerlandball And Icelandball - European Versions Of Us, We Both Can Into Mountains, Safety Neutrality,
Not Give A Fuck About The WorldAnd Neutrality.
- Malaysiaball - Half Brother. And Good Trading Partners
- Russiaball - Former Enemies, (See Enemies = Soviet Unionball) Now currently Good Friends. CYKA BALAT! We Both Drink Vodka together, But Why You Want To Ban My Beef? We Are Also Both In APEC (Asia Pacific Ecomomic cooperation)
- Serbiaball - Helped Him In WW1 Fighting Kebab Together With Australia. He Also Won The U-20 in 2015 hosted by me. But I Recognize Kosovo...
- Niueball, Tokelauball, And Cook Islandsball: Ah, my little Children, I Will Always Take Care Of You 3, But Do You All Want Independence?
Or I'll Just Annex And kill Of All 3 Of You Instead
- Denmarkball - We Both Can Into Being The Least Corrupt Nations In the World.
- Peruball - Not Much, But can Into Asia Pacific Cooperation Union Like Me!
- Mexicoball - Cousin Who Gives Out Tacos And Burritos, Also Can Into APEC And I'm An Observer of His Pacific Alliance
- Bermudatriangle - Recently Won The Americas Cup There! It Was Fun To Take Place In This Event!
- Irelandball - My Potato Loving Uncle. About 1/5 Of My Population Have Irish Desendent. Usually Make Hot Chips For Him.
- Franceball - Relations Were Tense In 1985 When She Bombed My Greenpeace Ship in 1985 But She Later Apologized To Me And We Are Now Currently Good Friends (All Though I'm Still A Bit Grumbly Sometimes) We Are Also Rivals At Rugby. I Narrowly Beat Her In The Rugby World Cup In 2011! Take That Frenchie!
- Turkeyball - Australia And I (ANZACS) Fought Him As The Ottoman Empire During The First World War, But We Both Retreated Away From Him Because He Was The Mean As Player. Today, He Now Lets Aussie And I Perform Memorial Services At Gallipoli. Lest We Forget, Mate.
- Israelcube - I'm not recognizing Palestine for him, and he's fine and all, BUT NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID TO MY AMBASSADOR!
- North Koreaball - Apparently he read The Crysalids novel, realized New Zealand (erroneously Sealand) still exists after a nuclear holocaust, and threaten Me with a nuclear strike DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT LAUNCHING NUKES INTO MY CLAY SHIT KOREA, BUT YOU CAN'T ANYWAY BECAUSE I'M FREE FROM NUCLEAR! REMOVE JUCHE AND KIM FAMILY!
- Soviet Unionball - We Were All Good Till The Mid 70s, We Nearly Boycotted His Olympics In 1980. Because Remember The Soviet-Afgan War! Remove Communism From Permises!
- Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - For Stealing Tokelaus Fleg. End Of.
- Fijiball - Relations Went Tense Ever Since He Got Mad With Me After I Didn't Help Him In A Coup That Overthrew Their Former Government.
After That They Became A Batshit DictatorshipAnd Stop Bullying Me Or There's No Aid For You!
- ISISball - You Dare To Fuck Me Or Australia Up Ever Again You Goat Fucker, And I Will Scare The Bloody Shit Out Of Ya. KA MA TE!
- Japanese Empireball - Bugger ya cunt! If you even dare bomb my beautiful clay I will bloody come over there!
- Ottoman Empireball - Look mate, I pretty much only fought against you because I was dumped into that war. And also because my dad thinks he can beat everything by throwing countries at it.
- Union of South Africaball - NEVER FORGET 1981! REMOVE APARTHEID - Oh Wait He Did.
- One stereotype of New Zealand is that it doesn't exist. New Zealand is a country that is routinely distorted on maps, often being situated on one certain corner, or occasionally not situated anywhere at all.
- One stereotype is that New Zealand is 'where men are men, and so are the women'. For being masculine.
- Another is that New Zealand speaks a strange language.
- New Zealand is stereotyped for being the best in the world at rugby. And why wouldn't we be? We won the world cup three times!
- Lord of the Rings. Enough said.
- New Zealand is also known for being the reason that the small islands are not being annexed, in fact New Zealand pretty much decide whether they live or die, as he is one of the countries that actually give a crap about them.
- BUSH RECEPTION. Even internet.
- Auckland Vs. Rest of New Zealand. Aucklanders are seen as rich snobs or immigrants. The rest of NZ are thought of as Farmers, Bush people or Bogans.
|Regions||Northlandball • Aucklandball • Waikatoball • Bay of Plentyball • Gisborneball • Hawke's Bayball • Taranakiball • Manawatu-Wanganuiball • Wellingtonball ( Wellingtonball) • Tasmanball • Nelsonball • Marlboroughball • West Coastball • Canterburyball • Otagoball • Southlandball|
|In free association||Cook Islandsball • Niueball|
|Dependencies||Tokelauball • Ross Dependencyball|
|Former entities||Maoriball • United Tribes of New Zealandball • British New Zealandball|