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  • "Oi mate I think we landed on the wrong beach" - New Zealand moments before getting shot at Gallipoli  
  • "Nah, You can't steal my...." - Moments before Australia stole his Pavlova  

New Zealandball is a countryball southeast of Australia-icon Australiaball. He is the son and former colony of UK-icon UKball and the brother of Australia-icon Australiaball, Canada-icon Canadaball, and USA-icon USAball. He has a pet kiwi and is known for the Lord of the Rings films and being the Adventure Capital of the World, he has 3 children, Niue, Tokelau, and the Cook Islands. Even though New Zealand is known for being a peaceful, caring nation, he used to be can be a fierce warrior and a sheep shagger. He often gets mixed up with Australiaball. Other countryballs, especially stupid America, often confuse him with Aussie. That's why be planned to change his flag but people preferred the original flag.

Recently, He Chose Labour Leader Jacinda Ardern As His New Prime Minister 1 Month After The Elections, At 37 Years, She Will Become The Countries Youngest Leader Ever In 150 Years. She Will Replace Now Former Prime Minster Bill English.

New Zealand can usually be found hanging out with Australia. 

History

Pre Colonization

Some time in the 12th century, the Maori, the first inhabitants of New ZealandBall, lived on a series of small islands called PolynesiaBall after sailing from Asia. Unfortunately, they began to run low on food supplies and set sail in search of new land and space to expand, and after months of sailing they landed on what was the coast of New Zealand. They decided to settle down on this land for what they looked like a big cloud. They thought it was a good omen, so they eventually settled down there, and took care of its natural beauty and resources. They collected fruit, fishing, and hunting large birds. Later on, they started to grow vegetables. But eventually as exploration of this new land instead of sea became too enticing for the once sea-faring people; Maori engaged into constant tribal warfare and became very warlike, like their old ways. Fighting over land and regions. Taking prisoners as slaves from enemy tribes, or "Iwi". They prayed to their dead ancestors, since they thought some of them are sacred. These sacred people are called "tapu", or taboo. Consuming the flesh of their enemies was considered as gaining their "Mana".

European arrival

In 1642 Netherlandsball was sailing across the Pacific Ocean, when he sighted land, but before he came ashore he was attacked by Maoriball and quickly left after finding four of his crewmen strewn in pieces on the coastline, being eaten. In 1769 Englandball landed on shore and made peaceful contact with Maoriball, and after the French arrived. New Zealand's had rich resources, so he sold wood for ships and garden produce in trade for muskets which unfortunately broke out in many musket wars between Maori tribes.

Colonization

In the 18th century, UKball was getting quite worried about the land he had taken from the Maori and the fear Franceball might annex New Zealand, so in 1840 he got Maoriball to sign the Treaty of Waitangi which gave him full control of New Zealand and also made it compulsory for New Zealand to fight alongside UKball. New Zealandball was born. He then proved to UKball his loyalty to him by helping him fight South Africa in the boer war, and UKball was very impressed with how well he was fighting. NZ did feel good for helping his dad but was heartbroken over the fact that the UK made him burn the South African villages and farms, and was very sympathetic towards them. He also was the first to reach the summit of Mt Everest with Nepal, one of his proudest achievements.

World War I

As soon as Britain declared war on German Empireball, New Zealandball found himself fighting in Europe. In 1915 New Zealandball teamed with his brother Australiaball to form the ANZACS, and went to war against Ottoman Empireball. Unfortunately on the day of the attack he landed on the wrong beach and was shot.

Nuclear-Free New Zealand

So, in the Second World War when USA was getting ready to fight the Japanese Empire, NZ let him stay on his clay in return for protection from Japan. USA and NZ became good friends because of this. Then in the late 1950's USA started testing nukes in the Pacific near NZ, which led to other countries such as Britain and France to start testing nukes around that area. New Zealand went ballistic-freaking-ape-hell over the fact that they were destroying the small islands living in the Pacific Ocean, and successfully stopped testing of nuclear weapons in the Pacific. France was pissed about this and decided to blow up the ship that was responsible for this. The Rainbow Warrior. France blew up the ship and New Zealand was deeply saddened to see his beautiful ship bombed. He then took France to court and forced him to pay 10 million dollars, banned all nuclear ships from entering NZ docks, much to USA's dismay as he tried to dock his nuclear subs and was forced away every single time. New Zealand is also one of the safest countries in the world.

Relationships

Mates

New Zealand is a multi-cultural country, so unless you piss me off, you're a friend. But here are some of my best mates.

  • Anglos - The Anglo countryballs are muh mates.
    • UK-icon UKball - Best father EVER!!I share some cultural history with him, but I now have a unique cultural identity and accent. Also, the bloody Pom who can't play rugby to save his life. However he loves me for keeping my Union Jack, and my loyalty to him.
    • Australia-icon Australiaball - My more famous brother that everyone mistakes me as. We have a sibling rivalry, and also fought together as the Anzac's in World War 1. Stop stealing my dishes and celebrities you unoriginal c***! Bowls like a bloody idiot, I WILL NEVER FORGET 1981. Still love you dearly, though <3. Ya wanker.
    • Canada-icon Canadaball - We both say 'eh', but Canadaball is more stereotyped for it. We are both overshadowed by our siblings, and we both share being equally nice! Except for when I'm drunk. Then we as good as gold!
    • USA-icon USAball - The shining star of the siblings. I had a good trade with USA, After I Let his Solders crash into my Country During The Second World War but after I refused to let him park his nuclear ships in my waters, he hasn't been talking to me that much. So you have some refugees, eh? Well, I will welcome them. Do they know I am home to Lord of the Rings ? If you don't like how it is in America, move in to Middle Earth me!
  • Maori-icon Maoriball - I maintain a peaceful relationship with my native inhabitants. This is probably why he is irrelevant, aside from his geographic location. 7% of New Zealandball speaks Maori, while 90% speak English. If only he'd shut up about that land Britain stole...
  • Nepal-icon Nepalrawr - Me & Nepal were the first to reach the top of Mt. Everest
  • English-icon Commonwealthball - Who is that bloke again?
  • NATO-icon NATOball - If I were located in the North Atlantic And Not The South Pacific, Then Yes, I Would Join You. (I'm Currently His Mayor Non NATO Ally Though)
  • Micronesia-icon Micronesiaball - I own most of your islands
  • South Korea-icon South Koreaball - Good friends with them. Apparently She is a sworn enemy with North Koreaball, so South Koreaball is our Mate. We Also Helped Her Fought The North During The Korean War. Future sister in law too.
  • Netherlands-icon Netherlandsball - was the first European explorer of my clay, and also gave me my name! Until the Maori killed him for some reason. IDK why. Hungry?
  • Portugal-icon Portugalball - My Fathers Best Friend. Would Like To Know him A bit More
  • Chile-icon Chileball - Gave me wheat during the gold rush. We Both Can Into EARTHQUAKES!
  • India-icon Indiaball - Adoptive Brother. A Good Cricket Player And He Makes A Mean As Curry, top sh*t.
  • South Africa-icon South Africaball - Me and him had a fight about his apartheid, but we're on good terms. Probably the only one who is a challenge to beat in rugby.
  • Brazil-icon Brazilball - A Mean As Player At Football. Lots Of HUE Aye?
  • England-icon Englandball - Won't admit I'm better at rugby & cricket? hmm.
  • Wales-icon Walesball - Probably the only person who understands sheep like I do. He Is Also My Husband
  • Scotland-icon Scotlandball - That one Uncle I Have With The Bagpipes that highly Influenced Dunedin. Couldn't Into Independence Sadly.
  • Germany-icon Germanyball - My Uncle. We Both Drink Our beer Brands Together, But... Remember WW2! Also Give Mercedes And Aldi Plz.
  • China-icon Chinaball - Biggest Trading Partner. Many Chinese Tourists Visit Me. By crikey, your tourists are annoying, and your shops aren't much better either. Oh And learn How To Drive Too! And Please Keep Buying My exports I need The Money. Basically you're A Part Of Me For Your Fish N Chip shops, And Chinese Restaurants.
  • Japan-icon Japanball - We Give Them Our Dairy Products And They Give Us Their Cars. He Also Gives Video Games And Anime, But With Too Much Tentacle Porn! We Both Helped Each Other During Earthquakes in Early 2011!
  • Argentina-icon Argentinaball - Likes to come over and pick my fruit and bring it back to his land but I don't mind.
  • Singapore-icon Tringapore - Economic trading partners
  • Spain-icon Spainball - Aunt. Thanks For Building My Trains For Me. We Both can Into OCED (Organisation For Economic Co-operation And Development)
  • Greece-icon Greeceball - Me And Australia Allied And Helped Him With Crete In WW2.
  • Switzerland-icon Switzerlandball And Iceland-icon Icelandball - European Versions Of Us, We Both Can Into Mountains, Safety Neutrality, Not Give A Fuck About The World And Neutrality.
  • Malaysia-icon Malaysiaball - Half Brother. And Good Trading Partners
  • Russia-icon Russiaball - Former Enemies, (See Enemies = Soviet Unionball) Now currently Good Friends. CYKA BALAT! We Both Drink Vodka together, But Why You Want To Ban My Beef? We Are Also Both In APEC (Asia Pacific Ecomomic cooperation)
  • Serbia-icon Serbiaball - Helped Him In WW1 Fighting Ottoman-iconKebab Together With Australia. He Also Won The U-20 in 2015 hosted by me. But I Recognize Kosovo-iconKosovo...
  • Niue-icon Niueball, Tokelau-icon Tokelauball, And Cook Islands-icon Cook Islandsball: Ah, my little Children, I Will Always Take Care Of You 3, But Do You All Want Independence? Or I'll Just Annex And kill Of All 3 Of You Instead
  • Denmark-icon Denmarkball - We Both Can Into Being The Least Corrupt Nations In the World.
  • Peru-icon Peruball - Not Much, But can Into Asia Pacific Cooperation Union Like Me!
  • Mexico-icon Mexicoball - Cousin Who Gives Out Tacos And Burritos, Also Can Into APEC And I'm An Observer of His Pacific Alliance
  • Bermuda-icon Bermudatriangle - Recently Won The Americas Cup There! It Was Fun To Take Place In This Event!
  • Ireland-icon Irelandball - My Potato Loving Uncle. About 1/5 Of My Population Have Irish Desendent. Usually Make Hot Chips For Him.

Neutral

  • France-icon Franceball - Relations Were Tense In 1985 When She Bombed My Greenpeace Ship in 1985 But She Later Apologized To Me And We Are Now Currently Good Friends (All Though I'm Still A Bit Grumbly Sometimes) We Are Also Rivals At Rugby. I Narrowly Beat Her In The Rugby World Cup In 2011! Take That Frenchie!
  • Turkey-icon Turkeyball - Australia And I (ANZACS) Fought Him As The Ottoman Empire During The First World War, But We Both Retreated Away From Him Because He Was The Mean As Player. Today, He Now Lets Aussie And I Perform Memorial Services At Gallipoli. Lest We Forget, Mate.
  • Israel-icon Israelcube - I'm not recognizing Palestine for him, and he's fine and all, BUT NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID TO MY AMBASSADOR!

Cunts/Enemies

  • North Korea-icon North Koreaball - Apparently he read The Crysalids novel, realized New Zealand (erroneously Sealand) still exists after a nuclear holocaust, and threaten Me with a nuclear strike DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT LAUNCHING NUKES INTO MY CLAY SHIT KOREA, BUT YOU CAN'T ANYWAY BECAUSE I'M FREE FROM NUCLEAR! REMOVE JUCHE AND KIM FAMILY!
  • Soviet-icon Soviet Unionball - We Were All Good Till The Mid 70s, We Nearly Boycotted His Olympics In 1980. Because Remember The Soviet-Afgan War! Remove Communism From Permises!
  • Bosnia-icon Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - For Stealing Tokelaus Fleg. End Of.
  • Fiji-icon Fijiball - Relations Went Tense Ever Since He Got Mad With Me After I Didn't Help Him In A Coup That Overthrew Their Former Government. After That They Became A Batshit Dictatorship And Stop Bullying Me Or There's No Aid For You!
  • ISIS-icon ISISball - You Dare To Fuck Me Or Australia Up Ever Again You Goat Fucker, And I Will Scare The Bloody Shit Out Of Ya. KA MA TE!
  • Japanese-Empire-icon Japanese Empireball - Bugger ya cunt! If you even dare bomb my beautiful clay I will bloody come over there!
  • Ottoman-icon Ottoman Empireball - Look mate, I pretty much only fought against you because I was dumped into that war. And also because my dad thinks he can beat everything by throwing countries at it.
  • Union of South Africa-icon Union of South Africaball - NEVER FORGET 1981! REMOVE APARTHEID - Oh Wait He Did.

Stereotypes

  • One stereotype of New Zealand is that it doesn't exist. New Zealand is a country that is routinely distorted on maps, often being situated on one certain corner, or occasionally not situated anywhere at all.
  • One stereotype is that New Zealand is 'where men are men, and so are the women'. For being masculine.
  • Another is that New Zealand speaks a strange language.
  • New Zealand is stereotyped for being the best in the world at rugby. And why wouldn't we be? We won the world cup three times!
  • Lord of the Rings. Enough said.
  • New Zealand is also known for being the reason that the small islands are not being annexed, in fact New Zealand pretty much decide whether they live or die, as he is one of the countries that actually give a crap about them.
  • BUSH RECEPTION. Even internet.
  • Auckland Vs. Rest of New Zealand. Aucklanders are seen as rich snobs or immigrants. The rest of NZ are thought of as Farmers, Bush people or Bogans.

Gallery

Links


VTE
USA-icon UK-icon Allied Powers - Liberating the World from Tyranny France-icon Russia-icon
World War I UK-icon UKballFrance-icon FranceballRussia-icon Russian Empireball (Russian SFSR (old)-icon Russian SFSRball) • Italian-Empire-icon Kingdom of ItalyballJapanese-Empire-icon Empire of JapanballBelgium-icon BelgiumballLuxembourg-icon LuxembourgballKingdom of Serbia-icon Kingdom of SerbiaballKingdom of Greece-icon Kingdom of GreeceballKingdom of Montenegro-icon Kingdom of MontenegroballKingdom of Romania-icon Kingdom of RomaniaballUSA-icon USAballAndorra-icon AndorraballArmenia-icon ArmeniaballKingdom of Hejaz-icon Arab RebelballsBrazil-icon BrazilballROC-icon (old)Republic of ChinaballCosta Rica-icon Costa RicaballUnited States Cuba-icon Republic of CubaballBohemia-icon Czechoslovak LegionballsSaudi Arabia-icon Emirate of Nejd and HasaballGuatemala-icon GuatemalaballHaiti-icon HaitiballHonduras-icon HondurasballLiberia-icon LiberiaballNepal-icon NepalRawrNicaragua-icon NicaraguaballPanama-icon PanamaballPortugal-icon PortugalballThailand-icon Siamball
World War II USA-icon USAballSoviet-icon Soviet UnionballUK-icon UKballTaiwan-icon Republic of ChinaballFrance-icon Franceball (Free France-icon Free Franceball) • Second Polish Republic-icon Second Polish Republicball (Second Polish Republic-icon PR Polandball) • Ontario-icon CanadaballAustralia-icon AustraliaballPanslavic-icon Kingdom of Yugoslaviaball (Yugoslavia-icon Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslaviaball) • Kingdom of Greece-icon Kingdom of GreeceballNew Zealand-icon New ZealandballUnion of South Africa-icon Union of South AfricaballNetherlands-icon NetherlandsballBelgium-icon BelgiumballLuxembourg-icon LuxembourgballNorway-icon NorwayballCzech-icon CzechoslovakiaballAbyssinia-icon Ethiopian EmpireballBrazil-icon BrazilballMexico-icon MexicoballColombia-icon ColombiaballPhilippines-icon Commonwealth of the PhilippinesballUnited States Cuba-icon Republic of Cubaball

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