|“||There are people in the world who live only for themselves; there are people who live to torment others; there are also people who live to help those who suffer. And, of course, these are the only ones in the world.||”|
— Hovhannes Tumanyan
Armeniaball (Հայաստան գնդակը; IPA: /hajastan gəndakə/) is a countryball located next to Turkeyball, Georgiaball (the European one), Azerbaijanball, and Iranball. It's known for having issues with Kebab over the years. Cannot into European Union because only Russiaball can understand his problems, so instead is into Eurasian Union. He is also a member of CSTOball. Armenia also can into pretty and unique Elvish alphabet like Georgiaball.
95% of the population is Christian. Worth mentioning that Armenia is known to be the first state to adopt Christianity as religion. Has his own sect of Christianity called Armenian Apostolic. There are thousands of churches on his clay. He has one functioning mosque for the whole country built when Persiaball ruled him, mostly only used by Iranball tourists. And the one pagan temple of his that wasn't destroyed by Christians is occasionally used by a small sect of neopagans.
Glory of Tigran and Ancient Armeniaball
You of wonderings, who is of Armenia? Well sit down, grab some khorovats and lettings me tell you a tale of Armenia. Armenia is of very ancient
don't deny or no apricot stone. Armeniaball was even first mentioned by Persiaball in 500's BC, his clay appearing in world's oldest map. Armeniaball was born after his father Urartuball and Nairiball married. Nairiball joined Urartuball but he got assholes kicked by Assyriaball. Even though Armenball's father was Assyria's arch nemesis, they got very well togethers. Armenia's real name is Hayastan and it came from gloriousest hero Hayk who defeated evil not kebab yet Bel (king of Babylon). Around that time when Armeniaball was followings pagan religion, Saint Thaddeus and Bartholomew came to Armeniaball and introduced Christianityball to Armeniaball. Armeniaball did not convert but, he was into thinking about that. Armeniaball had many great friends like some Greek city-stateballs, Khachapu... ergh... I meanings Iberiaball, Caucasian Shqip Albaniaball (just hopings he not become into pain in my assholes and many more friends. In the 1st century BC Armenia had the biggest amount of clay than he ever had under the rule of glorious caesar remover of them all, Tigran Mets (Tigranes the Great). But, that glory did not last very long. Unlucky but, Armenia was in between of two great assholes empires, SPQRball and Parthiaball. SPQRball has caesared his way and ate Ancient Greeceball and came close to Armeniaball. Parthiaball on the other hand was trying to CONSTANTLY CONVERT ME TO SHITE ZOROASTRIAN. They fought countless wars to anschluss Armenia and at some point they did but, Armenia would become independent again. Sometimes of Rome and Parthia were actually nice and not into anschluss but mostly anschluss. Things went otherwise as both SPQRball and Parthiaball went full anschluss on Armeniaball and then against each other. By that Armeniaball would again be released from anschluss but stay in influence of both of these apushner empires. Armenia lived happy until in the 3rd century Parthiaball got sick with CLAY REMOVING ZOROASTRIANIST ANASOUN Sassanidball. Sassanid anschlussed Armenia in 252 AD and Rome kickings Sassanid's assholes but also anschluss Armenia. Armenia was divided between Roman clay and Sassanid clay. In 384 AD SPQRball died and his son Byzantineball who also was Greece's son continued to rule over Armenia's clay. In 428 AD the last dynasty of Ancient Armeniaball has stopped ruling as Armenia's clay became split between Byzantineball and Sassanidball.
Christianization and Bagratid Armeniaball
In 301 AD Armenia remembered the two apostles (Thaddeus and Bartholomew who into visitings him and introducings Christianityball, and following the blessed and greatest Grigor Lusavoritch (Gredory the Illuminator) who converted Armenia's king at that time Tiridates III into Christianity, Armeniaball became the first country in the world to accept Christianity as his state religion because
Sassanidball was pain in Armenia's assholes by trying to convert into shite Zoroastrian its of best religion. In 405 AD Mesrop Mashtots created the Armenian aybuben (alphabet) which meant Armeniaball could translate Bible finally no Gyro bible. In 450 AD Sassanidball of becomings into alot of pissings because Armenia become Christian and not crap Zoroastrian that he was into forcing Armeniaball to be converted. At that time, under the leadership of respectful and honored Vardan Mamikonian, Armeniaball led a rebellion in which Sassanidball had much more army and even fought with war elephants. But, glorious Vardan kickings Sassasnids assholes and Sassanid of promise to leave Armeniaball to be Christian. Time of passings... Armeniaball did not get his goddamn independence and annex everyone lived a happy life with autonomy from both Sassanidball and Byzantineball with freedom to be Armenian Orthodox in both empires. In the 7th century when Muslim caliphates rose up, they fought the Byzantineball and Sassanidball for clay. Sassanidball was killed and Islamball was spread to Persian clay. Using the opportunity, Armeniaball of ask Abbasidball for independence who giving Armenia independence in 880 AD. Armeniaball was of split in kingdoms like Kingdom of Artsakhball, Kingdom of Loriball and more. Of Vaspurakan later split from Armeniaball and Armeniaball tried to get him back to be his clay. In 1045 anasun Byzantineball used the war Armeniaball and Vaspurakanball had anschlussed the capital Aniball from Armenia then ate it whole. Kinda anticlimatic doesn't it seemings so? Of Armeniaball was actually being treated well under Byzantineball but he of tryings to convert him into Orthodoxyball.
Kebab arrives, Crusades and Ciliciaball
Of after Islamball spread his
stupid sandal beatings beliefs in Arabia and Persia, Armenia's dear friend Caucasian Albaniaball fell into Islamball and became completely unrecognizable. However many of Armenia's friends like Kingdom of Georgiaball fought well against many caliphates and Assyriaball who was controlled by camel riders Muslims but, of managed to be safe. In 11th century, something was of born that was of great cancer disaster to us all. The Seljukball, of first kebab to arrive. He was not of nice to me and my friends. He would into killings many of non-Muslims and Armeniaball had enough of his shit. Me and Georgiaballremoved him from premises and helped Georgiaball retrieve his capital Tbilisiball. To be safe from butthurt kebabs, Armenballs decided to migrate to Taurus mountains where Byzantineball would give them some clay to live in thus making Ciliciaball being born. Seljukball of dyings later but his son Rumball was into growing strong with many other caliphates like Fatimidball and Abbasidball. During the First Crusade, Ciliciaball got close ties to the European crusader states like Kingdom of Franceball, Kingdom of Englandball and the rest of crusaders. Together they removed smelly Seljukball and saw the birth of Edessaball, Antiochball, Tripolyball and Jerusalemball. All was going of good until County of Edessaball got destroyed by Zengidball and then Mamlukball anschlussed all of the Crusader States later, including Cilicia.
Armenian clay was divided into two before World War I. It was divided between
gyot Ottomanball and Persiaball (later Russian Empireball). When World War I started Ottomanball suspected Armenballs that they are traitors and help Russiaball when in reality because Armenian homeland was into split and Armens lived in both sides (Eastern and Western) Armenballs not into want kill each other so Western Armenballs refused to fight their own people. Ottomanball got into pissed and decided to remove Armenians causing Armenballs to flee to all over parts of the world. When Russiaball got sick with Communismball, First Republic of Armeniaball became an independent country. To avenge for their families slaughtered by evil kebab, Armenballs started to fight the kebab alongside Greeceball and Serbiaball. That was when the Kebab Removers were born. Armenballs were lead by the greatest kebab remover of them all (aside Tigranes) Andranik. Even the Kurds who fought alongside evil kebab said that Andranik was like a "ghost", a bullet would basically go through him. A great victory came when the war ended but, it came with a great cost. When evil kebab finally GOT REMOVED FROM PREMISES!!! REMOVE KEBAB! REMOVE KEBAB YUO ARE WORST TURK! REMOVE SULTAN! REMOVE YOUNG TURKS! REMOVE ISTANBUL! CONSTANTINOPLE OF TRUE GREEK CLAY! died, some clay was handed to Greeceball and Armeniaball. Yuo would think is that the happy ever after ending. No. Rest was getting no better. Armeniaball had to defend itseld from evil kebab's son Turkeyball who wanted Armeniaball's clay.Please mercy Kebab!! As well Armeniaball had to return Loriball from DR Georgiaball and Nagorno-Karabakhball from DR Azerbaijanball. Armeniaball was way into exhausted and got anschlussed by tavari tsav Soviet Unionball who also gave Aniball to Turkeyball (now known as Karsball), Nakhichevan and Nagorno-Karabakhball to Azerbaijanball. At least he of lettings me keep Loriball and Syunikball.
The 1920s were really scary ages as
Stalin was in power of Soviet Unionball
and he would send a lot of people to Gulags so Armenballs could not fight against him. He made his state emblem showing glorious mountain Ararat which used to be part of Armenia's clay before the Armenian Genocide. Of coarse that pissed of dirty and smelly Turkeyball. In 1939 World War II started but, the Soviet Union was not participating in it at that time and was minding his own buisness anschlussing Finlandball and Polandball. But, in 1941 Nazi Germanyball invaded the Soviet Unionball which made Armenballs join in the battle alongside all other socialist states. Armenballs has risked their lives to save many Jewish people from Ataturk 2.0 Adolf Hitler. Many Armenballs died during the war and many other Armenballs who were around the world in diaspora also fought in the wesrern front. The war was finally over in 1945 and the Cold War has started. Very surprisingly but Armenian SSRball actually was sort of friends with Azerbaijan SSRball. It was a time when all of nations in the Warsaw Pactball were very good comrades and loved each other. In 1988 however Nagorno-Karabakh Autonomous Oblastball did not want to be with Azerbaijan SSRball anymore and wanted to join Armenian SSRball instead. stupid Soviet said nyet and on top of that Azerballs caused pogroms in Sumgait and Baku which killed a bit more than 1000 Armenballs. The situation was sort of stable during Soviet rule. But when Soviet died from liver cancer, the war has started.
Nagorno-Karabakh War has lasted from 1991 until 1994 and it was a bad war. Newly independent Armeniaball suffered an earthquake in 1988 in Spitak and to this day there are rebuildings going on. Armeniaball would receive armament support from Russiaball and Greeceball. But very badly Azerbaijanball also got help from Turkeyball, Israelcube, Ukraineball and much more. Armeniaball and Nagorno-Karabakhball were able to defeat Azerbaijanball. A ceasefire was signed but, Armenia suffered an economic blockade from Turkeyball and Azerbaijanball. To this day Nagorno-Karabakhball is independent but, no one recognizes him. With the war being won, Armenia rebuilt his economies by buildings railroad with Iranball and having Georgiaball help him export his goods to Europe. The 90s were not nice to Armenia, as not the war but he sufferings from very bad earthquake as well. But, in 2000s Armenia got on his feet and was ready to move on. Many Armenballs that live outside of Armenia that escaped from genocide helpings Armenia a lot. eshak was keep violating ceasefire and OSCEball cannot doings anything about it, and hes the one that should punish those who violate ceasefire AND AZER VIOLATED IT!!! In 2015 Armeniaball joined Eurasian Unionball and CSTOball instead of havings paper signed with EUball as he believed that Europe won't help much and decided to be closer with Russiaball. In 2016 Sheep lover's assholes exploded and he attacked my little brother and as usual he
got his assholes kicked and send back to Central Asia claimed victory while he was the one losing a lot. Armeniaball had decided to become from Presidential to Parliament Republic and will do so in 2018. Future still seems very interesting for Armeniaball.
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- Artsakhball - Brother.
- Javakhball - Brother.
- Urartuball - Father.
- Nairiball - Mother.
- Ancient Armeniaball, Bagratid Armeniaball, Ciliciaball, Armenian SSRball - Me but, with different clothes.
- Hayasa-Azziball - Grandfather
- Kurdistanball - Cousin
- Greeceball - Cousin
- Cyprusball - Cousin
- Iranball - Cousin
- Lebanonball - Cousin
- Artsakhball - Armenia's little kebab removing brother. Declared independence in 1991, but no countryballs of recognizing him, only other unrecognized balls and some US stateballs.
- Javakhkball - Armenia's other little brother who lives with Georgiaball
- Spitakball - Don't worry you will be recovered soon
- Armenian Kingdom of Ciliciaball - Another Armenian kingdom who was badass and a crusader. His arch-enemy was Mamlukball, and he was into friendship with Mongoliaball.
- Urartuball - Armenia's father, who died a long time ago and was rivals with Assyriaball.
- Phrygiaball - Possibly Armenia's grandfather, or at least Ancient Greeceball seemed to think so.
- Hayasa-Azziball - Other grandfather (he is where the "Haya" in "Hayastan" originates).
- Greeceball - We met so long ago that I cannot into remembering when. We were and still are great buddies who support each other in a difficult situation. Both hatings kebab, we are kebab removers, we are Orthodox and we want to restore glorious city of Constantinople.
- Kurdistanball- Even if he did genocides with Ottomanball, he said he is of sorry. We are almost like brothers, close cousins actually. I will help you fight against that devil!
- Franceball - We have a great relationship, I help her remove kebab and we're known to give each other big points at Eurovision (my jury gave her 12 points in 2016). She also made it illegal to deny Armenian genocide on her clay.
- Romaniaball - We are of good friends. We are both Orthodox and like removing kebab.
- Iranball - He of used to be one of my greatest enemies and now he of one of my best friends. We like each other and have a lot of economical partnerships with each other. A lot of Persian tourist come and visit me. Let's buildings a railroad together!
- Syriaball - They get along well, as he helped Armeniaballs during the genocide. Feels sorry for him these days though. Armeniaball is taking in some of his Syrian-Armenian and Yazidi refugees, who bring with them their fine cuisine.
- Uruguayball - Uruguay will always be in Armenia's heart! First country ever to recognize the Armenian Genocide. Armenia remembers that.
- Scotlandball, Northern Irelandball Walesball - You three are better than Tea cuz they can into recognize the Armenian genocide.
- Argentinaball - Armenian diaspora is having colonies there. He's a friend who has stuck up for Armenia in the past.
- Cyprusball - Armenia and Cyprus share good feelings towards each other.
- Lebanonball - Being in Middle East Lebanonball is quite a badass and brave country, with really good food. Armenia loves Lebanon. Lebanon is also the first Middle Eastern country to recognize the Armenian genocide.
- Spainball - Armenia and Spain like each other.
- / Sovietball/Russiaball - Big Brother in law who protects Armenia from Turkey. Russia also supported Armenia during the Nagorno-Karabakh War. But Russia used to support Azerbaijanball when Russiaball was still commie.
WHY YUO SELLING WEAPONS TO AZER?! WE ARE SUPPOST TO BE ALLIES!
- USAball - Armenia receives the second highest U.S. aid per capita behind Israel. USAball wants Armeniaball and Azerbaijanball to stop fighting and for Armeniaball to make up with Turkeyball so
he can put an oil pipeline through Armenia's claythere can be peace in the region. And he wishes to undermine Armeniaball's friendship with Russiaball. Heard you were having some trouble with Erdogan. Maybe you can focus on developing me up to become a stronk country now?
- Eurasian Unionball - Hopes to making money with him, but has only started. This better not be some kind of trick to resurrect Soviet Union.
- Colombiaball - The flag is similar, but upside-down, and there's even a cityball in Colombia called Armenia.
- Polandball - These countryballs aren't trade partners or something like that, but it should be there, because there is love between its people. Armeniaball's presence in the country goes back to Medieval times when Armeniaballs were fleeing Seljukball. Poland recognizes genocide, and gifs Armenia cherries. Yum.
F*CK YUO STUPID KURWA! MAKE ME LOSE 6-1 IN WORLD CUP NEVER FORGIV!
- Indiaball - They have been friends for a long time, and have close ties. Yerevanball has a yearly Indian festival too. Armeniaball supports him against evil Pakistan.
- Germanyball - Has much kebab living with him and didn't do anything to stop genocide... until 2016 when he finally of recognized it and said sorry! Danke, Germania.
- Malaysiaball - Thanks for building a hotel for me. I guess you are the only good kebab and I hope you will recognize my genocide.
- Palestineball - He's always supporting Armenia and Artsakh without even knowing it. He and Artsakhball are of so similar.
- Serbiaball - They are OK, mostly, Also they disagree on Artsakhball because of Serbia not wanting Kosovoball's independence. They are often portrayed as closer friends in comics than they are in real life.
- Bulgariaball - Many of Armens go to Bulgaria. He is orthodox, too. Maybe we can be better friends, but for now.
- Indonesiaball - I like visiting him and chilling with him. Hes very hospitable and nice.
- Chinaball - Is trade partner and interested in Armeniaball's economic development. Might be a good backup partner if Russiaball ever bails out on him. Also gave Erevanball some buses. Thanks Chinastan!
- Iraqball - Has much Armenians living in his clay. We are in good relations after Saddam fell from power. Just like Syria he has lots of Armenians living in his clay. I hope he finally kills ISISball.
Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball - I will recognize yuo two maybe, just hope Georgiaball doesn't get angry. And thanks for supporting my little brother.
- Georgiaball - She of a sister. We share good relations even though we fight a lot. Too sad she of not removings kebab with me like we used to before.
- OSCEball -
FOR GODS SAKE, PUNISH AZER, HE IS LITERALLY THE ONE VIOLATING CEASEFIRESThanks for keeping peace in the region...sort of.
- Israelcube - Armeniaball has his own section in Jerusalemcube, but a love/hate relationship with Israelcube, since he sells weapons to Azerbaijanball and won't recognize genocide despite suffering through his own. They have a lot in common but often find themselves on opposing sides.
- Turkmenistanball - Armenia is actually okay with him, because at least his ancestors stayed home instead of invading other countries and doing genocides.
- EUball - Armeniaball has mostly friendly feelings for him, even though Russiaball is making Armeniaball stay away from him. Disagrees with EUball on Crimea though, because he believes in the right of self-determination.
- UKball - They are friends, but he won't recognise genocide and won't give back Ancient Armeniaball's statue of Anahit. Also he wants to mine Syunikball's gold; which even if it improves Armeniaball's economy might destroy his environment in the process.
- Kosovoball - Reminds him of his little brother Artsakh. May recognize his independence soon, to stay consistent. Just hope Serbiaball does not get angry.
- Belarusball - He is very nice, but recently he sent a journalist to Azer because he simply visited my brother. He was simply into visit, why yuo be bribe by oil monies?
- Turkeyball -
Իմ վատագույն թշնամին վորին ես մաման էմ քունելOH YUO ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST!!! REMOVE KEBAB! REMOVE KEBAB FROM PREMISES! AM WORST COUNTRYBALL EVER! HOW DARE YUO STEALINGS MY CLAY AND MAKINGS GENOCIDE AND DENYINGS HISTORY!!! GIB RIGHTEOUS CLAY TO ME AND MY BROTHERS!!! ARMENIA + GREECE + SERBIA + KURDISTAN = KEBAB KILL. REMOVE KEBAB! REMOVE ERDOGAN! REMOVE THE YOUNG TURKS! REMOVE ISTANBUL! CONSTANTINOPLE RIGHTFUL GREEK CLAY! YUO MONGOLOID PIG GO BACK TO YUOR HOMELAND AND DIVIDE YUOR UNIBROW HAHAHAHAHAHA! YUO EVEN CHOOSE DICTATOR WHO FUCKS GOATS FOR PRESIDENT HAHAHA! Oh yuo want open borders? Thanks! I STILL BLOODY HATE YOU! 1915 NEVER FORGET!
- Azerbaijanball - He's my salty brother who lives in his own imagination. Keeps lying to himself that he is stronker than me, and keeps
getting his arse kickedviolation ceasefire in border. Nagorno-Karabakhball is free now and deal with it! Without oil yuo will die HAHAHAHAHA!
- ISISball - FIRST YUO KILL INNOCENT CIVILIANS AND NOW YUO BURN AND DESTROY MY CHURCHES?! LEAVE SYRIA AND IRAQ ALONE! YUO EVEN WORSE THAN TURKEY! I suspect Turkeyball aids and funds him.
- Pakistanball - He of not recognizes me because he lovings Azerbaijanball. KASHMIR IS INDIAN CLAY
- Ukraineball - I still remember how you sided with Azerbaijan during the Nagorno-Karabakh War and the April clashes by sending him mercenaries.
- Hungaryball - Yuo should have not released murderer